Sun and Moon- Tsukishima Kei

Chapter 21

(Hi, before you read this I just wanted to give a warning that towards the end of this chapter there is mentions of su*icide. Tbh it's literally just dramatic lmao but seriously- if you're reading this here's a reminder that you're amazing and are deserving of happiness and life just like everyone else <3 )

"Hey! Kat!" I hear as I walk down the hall and turn around. Yamaguchi is running to catch up to me.

It was our first day back at school and I did exactly what I told Tsukishima I'd do. I finished our poem, and turned it in at the beginning of class. We haven't given each other so much as a glance today.

"Hi Yamaguchi." I say as he stops in front of me.

"Um, Tsukki went off to the gym already so I thought it'd be the perfect time to ask. Did something happen with you guys?" He asks. "I don't mean to be nosy! I'm just- I'm worried, you know? He hasn't eaten today and he's hardly said anything. And I noticed you guys didn't talk and you both have the same blank expression on your faces and it's weird and abnormal, especially for you." He rambles.

"We broke up." I say simply and his eyes widen.

"W-What? Why? He didn't tell me that..." Yamaguchi fiddles with his fingers.

"He thinks I cheated on him. And he didn't tell you because he doesn't even care himself." I adjust the strap of my school bag on my shoulder.

I really don't want to talk about this. It's tiring.

"Did you?" Yamaguchi asks, tilting his head.

"Did I what?" I ask and he bites his lip.

"Did you cheat on him?" At this, I narrow my eyes at the taller boy and he winces.

"Why the fuck would I cheat on him? What reason do I have to do that?" I scoff. "I can't believe the both of you think I would stoop that low." I grit my teeth and turn on my heels, walking away.

That's the first time I gave a direct answer, well, as direct as I'm going to get right now.

What is wrong with me? What's so wrong with me that everyone thinks I would do something like that? Do I look like I'd be that type of person? Is it the way I talk? I don't get it...

Maybe I should change myself.

"Katsumi-San." I hear and feel Yamaguchi's hand on my shoulder. I stop in my tracks, but don't turn around.

"I know you wouldn't. But I wanted to hear an honest answer from you. I'm sure Tsukki understands that too...deep down...maybe? But I think you guys just need to talk." Yamaguchi is Tsukishima's friend. Of course he's his best interest. "Tsukki isn't good with people. He never has been, you just need to give him time. He was really hot and cold with me too when we first became friends."

Why do I always have to adapt? Compromise? Who's on my side? Who do I have here? Why do I always have to give chances, but can never be given them? It's not fair.

"Tsukishima Kei is better off just being friends with you. He doesn't need me." I say, repeating the last sentence over and over in my head so I can memorize it.

He doesn't need me. He doesn't need me.

But I really need him. And I hate myself for it.

"That's not true. I'm his best friend- so I would know better than anyone. He's changed since he met you. He actually tries now. Tsukki isn't someone who would do something that he believes would be an inconvenience, or that he doesn't like." Yamaguchi's hand falls off of my shoulder as he walks around to stand in front of me now. "Tsukki really cares about you. He's a little messed up in the head, but he beats himself up every time he pushes you away." Yamaguchi chuckles slightly.