Efflorescence

For him (last)

Wait! I just can't stop laughing because of the title and the content of this huhu but I'm gonna publish this anyway.

You know those times when you feel heartbroken then you just want to write this kind of letter for your ex.

But now that your fine you'll cringe and think "Omg I actually wrote this?"

But hey there's nothing wrong with writing what you feel. It may sound exaggerated at times but atleast it helped you realize things and move on.

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LAST MEMOIR FOR MY LOVE

Hey there. How are you? To tell you the truth you came cross my mind very often. You are even the constant subject whenever I want to day dream something. I want to imagine you always. I want to imagine how we’ll meet each other for the first time in the future. Will we recognize each other then? What will be our reaction? How will we treat each other?  Just a mere thought of you can make me smile, just a simple reminisce of how we used to chat each other makes me want to go back to you with open arms. Honestly, I really don’t know why I did that. Why I decided to let you go and to stop believing. Maybe just maybe I was making excuses to stop myself from breaking too much. Maybe I was scared to feel the pain. I was a coward making random excuses to save myself from a greater heartache we could have face if we won’t let go sooner. I am an over thinker. I over think simple situations and actions. I was so used to have this certain mentality that it affected us. Maybe you really love me, no you did love me but I chose to close my eyes to see your real feelings and implanted lies on my head. Well to tell you, I never stop expecting and waiting. I’m still waiting if you will view my ‘my day’ on messenger, my ‘story’ on instagram or if you’ll react ‘heart’ on my profile picture on facebook. I keep on waiting if you’ll update your social media accounts because that’s the only way for me to be updated on what’s going on with your life. But you were a secretive person you don’t share what’s going on in your mind. Even before, I was always the one who keeps on sharing my life while you won’t even tell me about your day. I’m honestly so confused then. I wonder why I’m not hurting. I wonder why I can’t feel the pain they said you will feel when you let go of someone so special. Maybe I was numb. I was tired. I’m always insecure. I always wonder how you used to love the girl before me. My love, let me think of you whenever I miss you. Let me imagine and day dream about you whenever I want to. Let me reminisce because I only have our memories as a proof that I once was so in to you that I was willing to risk everything for our love. We have our phones as witness of our love story even when we are so far away from each other. I want to end this letter here. Until we see each other by then I hope we could be good friends.