🌈 BLS3: Chasing Your Love (BL) ✔

21

Chapter 21: Stay

"I'm... sorry, Jin."

Even if he said that, I don't want to leave his side. I've earned my spot there, I shouldn't let go. Kahit itong nararamdaman ko ay ayaw kong bitawan. As long as hindi niya ako iiwasan at hindi niya sabihin na layuan ko siya, I'll stay.

"But, can I still be your friend? Kahit iyon lang, ayos na sa akin, Shine. Just don't tell me to stay away from you," nagsusumamo kong sabi.

Maririnig ang hampas ng alon sa aming tabi. Ang araw ay tuluyan na ring lumubog kung kaya hindi ko klarong makita ang kaniyang reaksiyon.

"I-It's okay, I guess." Nakita ko ang pagyuko ng kaniyang ulo. "You're still my friend, Jin. You and Rachi."

Kumibot ang aking labi sa huling narinig. May nais pa sana akong sabihin kaso tinikom ko na lamang ang aking bibig. Tumango ako sa kaniya at nakangiti na inilahad ang aking kamay sa kaniyang harap. Although I did put him on a awkward situation, tinanggap niya pa rin ang kamay na iyon. We walk back together, holding hands.

I think this is enough for now.

After that, we focused on our studies. Alam ko na paminsan-minsan ay naiilang pa rin si Shainon sa akin but I made it possible na maging kumportable siya. I never open up anything about what happened that day. I never showed him that I am hurt. And I never acted like I still have intentions to him. I am now just a friend. That's all.

Mukha ngang kabaliktaran ang naging epekto noon sa amin, we got even closer. Lagi kaming magkasama. We reviewed together; he even had sleep over at our place one time. Nakilala at nakausap ko na rin ang mga magulang niya. They are strict, but they are kind to me. They trusted me lalo na kapag kay Shainon. Thanks to my parents name and their status in the industry.

Naikwento ko na rin ito sa mga magulang ko and they are glad to hear that. Anila ay kilala rin daw nila ang mga Akagi and being friends with Shainon is good. That made me super happy. Pakiramdam ko ay legal kaming magsyota.

Me and my own delusions.

"Chi!" Bahagya akong napatalon nang marinig ang tinawag ni Shainon. "Hindi ka ba ulet sasama sa amin?"

Pinagpatuloy ko ang pag-aayos ng aking gamit habang pinapanatili ang atensiyon sa kanila. I doubt he'll say yes though.

"Uh... Sorry, Shai. I'll pass again. Bye! May pupuntahan kasi akong importante."

"W-Wait! Chi!"

Napabuntong hininga ako.

"Let him be," seryoso kong sabi kay Shainon na hindi maiwasang mapayuko.

About Rachi, he's been distant hindi lang sa akin, maging kay Shainon at sa lahat. He's been  hanging out with Raphy and his gang just like before. Kahit kami na magkatabi sa upuan ay ni hindi nagkikibuan, hindi na rin kami nagkakausap. I know half of it is my fault, pero bakit kailangang idamay niya pa si Shainon?

Ngumiti ako kay Shainon at inaya na siyang maglakad palabas ng gate.

"Don't think too much," muli kong sabi sa kaniya.

I saw him bit his lower lip, he can't seem to meet my gaze.

"H-Hindi kaya kasalanan ko na umiiwas siya sa atin?"

Nanlaki ang mga mata ko sa sinabi ni Shainon. Nagsimula akong kabahan sa hindi malaman na dahilan. Wala naman siguro siyang alam, 'di ba?

"Why would you say that?"

Shainon took a glance at me. I saw how his lips tremble, mukhang nahihirapan sa kung anuman ang nais sabihin.

"B-Because... the two of you..." I gasp. "N-Nevermind. Baka mas close lang talaga siya sa mga kaibigan niya sa kabilang kurso simula pa noon. Pagkakaalam ko kasi, classmate niya noong highschool iyong Raphy."

Really?  I didn't know that.

"Kaya hayaan na lang natin siya."

"Yeah." Iniwas ko ang tingin sa kaniya, napunta ang isip sa sinabi niya kanina. "But it's just making me sad."

That night, I took the courage to text Rachi na huwag iwasan si Shainon. Kung may problema siya sa akin ay ako lang ang iwasan niya. I waited for a reply, pero walang dumating.

Damn it.

Binubulabog din ako ng sinabi ni Shainon kanina na hindi niya natuloy. Posible kaya na may alam siya? Pero paano naman? Kami lang ni Rachi ang nakakaalam ng meron sa aming dalawa. Sinabi ba ni Rachi sa kaniya? Pero bakit naman?

"Damn, I really need to stop thinking. Bahala na siya sa buhay niya!"

Before I fell asleep, bumalik ako sa alaala noong gabi na katabi ko si Rachi rito sa aking kwarto. Maybe it's because I am pissed or he's been making me frustrated eversince he started avoiding me. The relationship we had... ramdam ko ang panghihinayang.

"Call me Chi, Jin."

"Why can't I stop thinking about you, damn it."

If we still have that kind of relationship, will Rachi let me embrace him after Shainon rejected me? That could've happen. And it shows how I wanted him for that. It just feels so good with him.

But my heart is still beating for Shainon.

"I've had enough, Jin."

I really need to forget everything that involves Rachi.

And so our exams came at doon na nabuhos lahat ng atensiyon namin. Good thing, mukhang nabasa naman ni Rachi ang mensahe  ko at kinakausap na si Shainon. But his distance with me is still there. That's fine with me as long as magkaibigan pa rin sila ni Shainon. I don't want seeing Shainon sad. As me and Rachi, as much as possible pinapakita namin kay Shainon na ayos kami pero kapag wala siya, estranghero kami sa isa't-isa.

"Summer break is coming, ano ang plano niyo?" Shainon asked suddenly.

Kakatapos lang ng finals namin noon and the class decided to eat outside to freshen up. Nasa iisang lamesa kaming tatlo, katabi ko si Shainon while sa harap namin si Rachi.

"My parents are coming home, so probably, magbabakasiyon," I said.

"Really?" si Shainon. "Maybe I'll be trained again for our business."

I saw him pout. So cute.

"How about you, Chi?"

Nalipat ang paningin ko sa harap and saw Rachi looking outside, mukhang malalim ang iniisip. He smiled then looked at Shainon. I sensed something from his eyes, that quite bothered me. Something is up.

"I'm thinking of going back to my first dream," makahulugan niyang sabi.

Nakita kong bumuka ang bibig ni Shainon tila may nais pang sabihin pero biglang tumayo si Rachi at sinabi na pupunta sa palikuran. Nais ko siyang sundan, pero napigilan din ang sarili. For sure, hindi lang din niya ako papansinin.

It's just... Rachi looks like he's ready to give up something.

"There must be really wrong, huh?"

Napatingin ako kay Shainon. He looks bothered habang nilulugay ang kinakain na ramen. Hindi ako nakasagot kasi hindi ko rin masabi na alam ko ang dahilan. Na alam ko kung ano ang mali at problema.

Napakuyom ako ng aking kamao.

I really want to talk with Rachi again so badly!

But I never expected na hindi ko na siya makakausap pang muli. He widened his distance with us... completely.

So that was his plan.

After summer break, we became sophomores.

And Rachi's not our classmate anymore.

To. Be. Continue.