Filling in the blanks with my favorite storyteller...
Serkan
"Yes, Eda. You and I are finally, finally alone. We're going to talk, Eda Yıldız."
She's irritated. I can tell because as soon as she saw Selin, her voice turned cold, her expression hardened. This Eda isn't my Eda; my Eda is soft and warm and compassionate. I want my Eda back. It's my fault--I made her this way. I should have made Selin leave a long time ago. I should have never let her stay. I should have told her the truth; I never should have lied to her and made her feel even for one second that I don't love her more than anything in the world.
"Why are you like this? Tell me." She puts her purse down on the counter and focuses all her irritation on me.
"Like what?" Maybe if I play stupid she'll let it go?
"Why are you like this?" she demands, crossing her arms over her chest.
I shrug and shake my head, giving her what I hope is an innocent smile. "Like what?"
She gives me that look, the one that tells me she's not buying what I'm selling. She's so sexy when she challenges me. I love the way she raises one eyebrow at me and looks at me like I'm crazy.
I take another sip of my whiskey and grimace, I've really had enough. I pick up my mug of coffee and dump its contents in with the last of the whiskey in my glass, hoping the caffeine will cancel out the alcohol. "I was saying something..." I wrack my brain for a moment and it comes back to me. "Oh, yes. You...you are the most valuable thing to me. I mean..." I stop and think about what I've just said, and it's true. It really is. "Yes," I nod, waving my glass around, "yes. The most precious. More important than anyone."
Her face softens and she smiles a little in spite of herself. I take a drink of my whiskey-laced coffee. "Oh, that's awful. That's really bad." I set the glass down on the counter.
"Should I have you sign? That you said something like this to me... Do you remember?"
It's like I'm looking at myself from outside of my body. My mind is aware of everything I'm doing and saying, aware of how ridiculous I'm being, but, at the same time, I have no control over myself. I'm slurring, leaning heavily on the counter. My mind knows exactly what I want to say, even if I can't get my mouth to say it.
"I remember everything. This day..." I think about how I've been chasing her all day to get her alone, to get her to listen and I laugh. "This moment." I look up at her and she's nodding and smiling, amused by my drunkenness and trying to understand what the hell I'm talking about. "This moment...I would give everything to stay in this moment." I wink at her and raise my glass to her before taking a drink. "This is really bad." I set the glass down again and push it away from me. "What is this?" I pick up the coffee mug instead and turn my attention back to her. "And so, you should always believe me." I carelessly slosh coffee out of my mug. "Believe me. Believe me." I wink at her, speaking with finality.
"Why don't we go wash your face," she suggests in that sweet, patronizing voice reserved for drunks, crazies, and babies.
"We need to talk, Eda. There's something I have to tell you," I insist.
"Okay." She doesn't look like she's ready to listen to me.
"We have to talk. Will you sit down?"
She moves toward me. "Okay, we will talk. But first let's go wash your face." She takes my hands in hers to help me up. It's the first time she's voluntarily touched me in such a long time and I grip her hands like a lifeline.
