Keeping the Bad Boy

Chapter 18

After Courtney's mother abruptly ended that phone call, I tossed my phone back onto my bed. My violin was still in one hand and my bow was sitting on my bed. I picked it back up and raised the instrument to my shoulder. I started to play a very angry piece that usually got residue all over my violin. A residue that was extremely difficult to get off, but I played it anyway. Needing some way to get the feelings out without having to gather my thoughts into words. My eyes began to sting behind my closed lids as the bow flew back and forth. I heard Ryder shout my name, but couldn't bring myself to stop. The violin screeched something awful as I pushed the bow down too hard. "HEY!" Ryder shouted. I felt a strong hand on my wrist and he pulled the bow away from the violin. I am panting. I open my eyes and slowly lower the violin. I look down at the sandy colored carpet then up at Ryder. His eyes are concerned. "What happened?" he asked. I shake my head, "She-her mom hung up on me. I have a feeling that that's not something good." Ryder's features soften as he extends his arm and brushes she back of my shoulder, beckoning me in for a hug. I take a step forward and he wraps his arms around me. "Nobody said love was easy. Especially for people like us, Sam," he whispered. I squeeze him tighter, scared to let him go. Scared that I might lose him. Scared because he was repeating what my mother had said the day she died. He was repeating the words she had whispered to us in the bathroom right before my father broke the lock and pulled her outside. Right before we lost her forever. "I will love you forever and ever my little angels. Though loving hasn't been easy for me, loving will be easy for you. I pray that you love the right people. But nobody said loving someone was easy." She had looked right into my eyes and held my hand as she said this last part, "Especially for people like us, Samuel." Ryder always thought those last words had been for the both of us, but I knew that they for me. Ryder has always had better judgment than I have, and my mother knew that. She knew that he would find the perfect person for him. She knew that I was just like her. She was scared that I would find someone that I thought was perfect, but really wasn't. I will never forget the look on her face as she was pulled out of our tiny bathroom by her long blonde hair. Ryder pulls away from me and smiles. "It'll work itself out in the end, buddy." I shake my head and laugh without humor. "You should know that nothing ever works itself out." "Okay, not everything. But a teenage romance bump in the road will smooth out eventually," he says and walk back over to his cello. "I sure hope so," I said and flop down on my bed.

That night after dinner-which consisted of some Ravioli that Paulette made and some gross dinner roll recipe that Steven was trying out-I tried calling Courtney. She didn't answer. "Damn it," I say and toss my phone onto the couch cushion between Ryder and I. He blows a big pink bubble with his gum, pops it, then asks, "No answer?" "Nope. Maybe she'll answer tomorrow," I say then fix my gaze on the television. It was one of Ryder's favorite movies, Lone Survivor. "Dude, she's probably grounded. You know, for talking to you-all that bullshit." He turned, putting one leg up on the black leather couch and leaned forward. "You said yourself that her parents don't like you. They probably heard her talking to you on the phone and took it away. No big deal, although you treat it as if it were the end of the world," he said the words with a slight lisp-whenever he talks while chewing gum, he pushes the gum up behind his teeth, making his S's sound a lot softer than normal. My phone rings suddenly, making us both jump. I pick it up and Ryder looks at me with expectant eyes, as if to say Is it her? I smile, nod raise the phone to my ear. Paulette and Steven were cleaning up the kitchen. "Hey, what's up?" I ask. I can hear her heavy, labored breathing on the other end of the line. "Hey," she whispers after I hear a door click shut. "What's going on?" I ask, gaining a worried glance from Ryder. "My mom took my phone away. She's in the shower and my dad's not here. I stole it from her room." I smile, knowing that she went through all this trouble just to talk to me. "When are you supposed to get it back?" She sighs, "After Christmas break is over. She is so pissed at me. She's pissed at you too for yelling at her. Tell Ryder thanks for stopping you by the way." "Yeah, he took my phone from me. It's what he does best you know." She gave a little quiet laugh, "I know." She took a deep breath. "I miss you," she said. "I miss you too... I have an idea. Does your mom know what Ryder looks like?" "I don't think so, why?" I look over at Ryder who is staring at me with his eyebrows raised. "Do you think your mom would let you leave the house with him?" "I'm grounded, remember." "Okay, well...I can come get you. Like, if you're willing to crawl out the window." She laughs and says, "I'm willing, but my mom would hear your motorcycle. She knows what it sounds and looks like, Sam." "I don't know then because Ryder's car is loud too. They get more cool points when they're loud." "Sam, I'm going to miss you, but I'll make it because I know that when this is over I can see you. You are the light at the end of a very long, dark tunnel. But I know that you can make it through this too because you're just that. A light. A beautiful light that will never fade. Don't worry about me. Just remember one thing, Samuel, you can't have love without pain," she said, and I could hear her voice tremble as if she were crying. My chest hurt and my throat closed up, allowing no words to escape. Whatever words I might have said were cut off by her sharp, pained, now empty voice. "I heard the shower go off. I'm sorry. I have to go. Don't forget about me," she said and hung up. "How could I?" I whisper to myself and shut my eyes.