Chapter 26

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I didn't want to leave, but I had to. I haven't gotten a new helmet yet, so the cold winter air stings my face and snowflakes cling to my eyelashes and melt into my eyes. Ryder has always told me that he was jealous of my golden eyes but sometimes I wish I had normal eyes. People always ask me if they're contacts and people always stare when they see them. In a normal situation, I think would like the attention, but my dad made me hate getting any attention from anyone but Ryder and my mom. When I get home, there's a black Camaro and a grey Charger in the driveway. I roll my eyes. I hate this guy, but then again, the feeling is mutual. The guy that drives the Camaro is cool, his name is Jamie and he has a gay twin brother named Kevin. The guy with the Charger is the problem. His name is Conner and he's from Paulette and Steven's side of the family. Jamie and Kevin are my actual cousins that I never saw when I was a kid. My dad kept my mom from seeing her sister and Jamie and Kevin are her kids. She died a couple years ago in a car crash. Jamie and Kevin are the same age as me. Conner is a year younger than Ryder. I park my bike and head inside, carrying my violin. Ryder is leaning on the kitchen table, looking up at Conner through his lashes. All I can see is Conner's thin shouldered frame, topped off with red hair that was in a pathetic quiff. He was wearing a Green Day t-shirt that I couldn't complain about and jeans. He looked normal enough but his personality came out of Satan's asshole. He turned around when he heard the door shut and Ryder straightened, popping his neck and his knuckles. He gives me a cocky smile. I narrow my eyes and head upstairs to put my violin up. Jamie and Kevin came and stayed with us last Christmas- unfortunately, so did Conner- and Jamie always stays in my room and Kevin rooms with Ryder. Conner gets the guest room because everyone but Paulette and Steven hates him. Jamie was putting sheets on an air mattress when I walked in my room. He looks up at me and walks over. He wraps his arms around me. "Hey man, how you been?" He pulls away and I walk over to my bed and open the violin case. "I've been okay, what about you?" He shrugs, "Okay I guess. Kevin's boyfriend broke up with him after a year and a half, so he's been pretty upset." Typical. When you ask Jamie how he is, he gives you an update on his twin. Most people just listen to it, but not me. "I asked how you were, not your brother," I say, placing the violin back on its stand. "Well, I've been missing Mom a lot more than usual. I think I'm getting depressed." "I have a strong feeling depression and death runs in this family," I say and begin taking things out of his suitcase and putting them in the bottom drawer of my dresser. He sighs, "Yeah. How did you make it through your mom dying?" "I had Ryder. He helped a lot. I think Kevin could help if you would just talk to him," I say. "But Kevin already has so many problems. I know how you always confided in Ryder, but I am the Ryder of our relationship. I can't put that weight on his shoulders." I often wondered if this was how Ryder felt. If he needed someone to talk to, but wouldn't talk to me. "Okay, enough with all this gooey, mopey shit, you want to go play football?" Jamie smiles and nods, "I bet I can still beat your ass."

When we get downstairs after getting Kevin from Ryder's room, Conner is yelling in the kitchen and there's blood on Ryder's knuckles. He waves from his spot leaning on the wall leading into the kitchen. I give him a questioning look. "That prick wouldn't shut up," he says, trying to wipe the remaining blood on his jeans. Kevin snorts behind me, trying not to laugh. Jamie scoffs, "He deserves it. He's been giving me shit since we got here. Saying we 'took his parking spot', that we were 'trying to steal his family from him', that we 'needed to go back to our own families-oh yeah, that's right they're dead.'" Ryder rolls his eyes as another shout goes off in the kitchen. "Who's he yelling at now?" I ask. "Paulette. He started yelling at me because I gave him a bloody nose so she started yelling at him to be quiet and yelling at me for punching him. . . again," Ryder says with a smile. It quickly vanishes though. "They always take his side. They act like I care that they yell at me though." "You want to come play football, Ryder?" Kevin asks, tossing the ball up in the air. He nods, snatching his hoodie off the back of the couch on our way out the door.

After about half an hour, Conner throws the door open with a different shirt on. "You're going to pay for what you did, Ryder," he says, stalking over to us. Steven's side of the family is filthy rich, so obviously that's the side Conner came from. My guess is that his own parents get tired of him so they send him here for Christmas. The first Christmas we lived here, we still wouldn't talk to anyone but each other and Conner called us all kinds of names. We attacked him and threw him down the stairs, at Paulette and Steven's astonishment. Conner got arrested for punching some teenage girl at the mall over the summer last year, and his parents bailed him out, told him to never hurt a girl, and that was that. The nerve of the spoiled bastard. "The fuck do you want?" Ryder yells, tilting his head back slightly-making him seem a little taller and really menacing. "Figured I could play with you guys, since we have so much fun together. Thought I could show you some pointers since none of you had a real father to show you." Now, Ryder and I had gotten used to the fact that our real dad was a douche, but Jamie and Kevin were different. His name was Ronnie and he was murdered after someone brought a gun to his office, killing half of his co-workers, including him. They weren't ashamed of it, there was really nothing to be ashamed of. It wasn't their fault, but it put a lot of stress on their mom, losing a husband and having to take care of two twelve year old boys. Ryder caught Kevin's arm before he could lunge for Conner. Jamie just gave Conner a look of so much disgust. Conner threw his hands up. "Woah! No homo! If you want to make out with someone, make out with Ryder. Seems like he'd be into it." There, that set all of us off. We all raced toward him. Conner tried to act like he wasn't scared, but I saw his face before he turned and ran into the house. He was terrified. He knew that he had crossed the line with that. He slid on the wood floor and ran up the stairs. Ryder barreled after him, I was right behind him, then Kevin, then Jamie. He ran into my room- I don't know why, but he has always had a special, extra hatred for me and I for him. Ryder came to a sudden stop, causing me to slam into his back, nearly knocking us over. Jamie and Kevin slid to a stop and gasped. I moved to stand beside Ryder so I could see Conner. We had built a wall in front of the door but when I saw what he was holding, my heart stopped. Ryder's hand was holding a fistful of my shirt on my back. I didn't show how scared I was on my face, nor did I tense my muscles. I gave him no clues as to whether he was bothering me or not. By the look on his face, all he saw was a calm, cool killer. My eyes assessed the situation and saw that there was no way around what was happening. Conner was holding my violin high over his head, about to slam it into the floor.

"My dear Lord," I hear Kevin mumble. Ryder grip on my shirt tightens. "I'll break it Sam!" Conner yells. I shrug, rolling my head. "Go ahead, see if I care. I care about it about as as much as I care about you. It's just a petty distraction. Smash it, see what happens." A look of confusion crosses over Conner's face and Kevin glances down our little line at me. Ryder's grip loosens, but his hand remains on my back. I realized what he was doing immediately. He was being a spotter. He could pick out an advantage point or weakness in a fight better than anyone I know. He would nudge my back when Conner was least expecting it. I see Conner's grip on the violin lessen slightly and his elbows unlock. I feel a slight push at the bottom of my back and I go for it. If I didn't execute this properly, my violin would break, along with a little piece of my soul. My mother had given me that violin even when I was too little to use a full size one yet. I hear Ryder's footsteps behind me, coming to grab the violin. I see either Kevin or Jamie's fluffy blonde hair to my side. My shoulder collides with Conner's stomach. He doubles over and I feel his chest hit my back. He cries out when we hit the wall. I put one hand around his throat and the other was ready to strike. "That's. . .it," I hiss, inches from his face. "I am done with your bullshit!" My hand around his throat tightens as I punch him once, twice, three times, four, five, six. I feel at least one knuckle on my hand split. Conner is coughing, struggling to breath and there is blood covering his face and my hand. I hear someone yell my name in the background but I just keep hitting Conner. I hear at least five voices yelling my name and begin to feel hands all over me, pulling me away from Conner. "SAMUEL!" I hear Ryder yell beside me. I release Conner, breathing hard. Conner crumples to the floor, coughing, spitting blood onto the wood floor. I look around for my violin and I can't find it. My heart sinks and my eyes widen. Paulette went downstairs to get some stuff for Conner and Steven is kneeling by his side. I spin quickly and kick Conner as hard as I can in his side, causing him to cough blood. "Where the fuck is it you sick bastard!?" I yell as loud as I can. "Hey!" Steven yells, but makes no attempt to stop me. Ryder grabs my shoulders and pulls me back, "It's in my room in its case." I let out a breath I didn't realize I had been holding. Jamie and Kevin were just standing there, looking between Conner and me. Thank God Courtney isn't here. She would think I was a monster.

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