Chemicals: Hazard - Book Two

Part 3: playing the game

-Sophia Shade-
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People never truly leave you. They might leave you physically but emotionally and mentally, even spiritually, they never leave you.

That's what scares me most.

"Hello?" I look at Leila who was speaking. I wasn't listening. I was zoned out. I give her a faint smile.
"I'm sorry. Can you repeat that?" She rolls her eyes at me and laughs slightly.

"If you didn't want to come today, you could have said so." I sigh slowly.
"I wanted to come." I run a hand through the ends of my hair. "I've just been very busy. And stressed." I add.

"I know.... I just thought this could take your mind off of it." I look at her. I nod.
"I thought so too. I'm just- I'm sorry."
She looks at me for a moment before nodding. She purses her lips and sighs.

"You know I love you Sofi but you really gotta learn to de-stress." I nod.
"Just loosen up a little bit. Have fun."
"And how do you suggest I do that?" I laugh at her and she smiles.

"I miss Ryn." She says suddenly. I look up at her fast. We sit in silence for a moment. I look down and then up.
"I do too." I say quietly. "I always will."

She stares at me for a minute. It feels like longer. She shakes her head.
"Let's not think of things that are sad."
I nod and give her a slight smile. I pick up my tea cup and take a sip. The beverage is cold. It's been left out too long. It's lost it's flavor. Lost it's flare.

I place back down the cup and swirl it around with a spoon. A tiny whirlpool appears in the cup. I wish it would suck me up and take me down with it.

***

(Suggested song- Unsteady by X Ambassadors)

-Zachariah Rally-
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She took tea in the garden today. Leila wanted to have a nice chat with her. They hadn't been able to spend much time together since the coronation.

I sigh to myself and turn away from the mirror. I just have freshly shaven. My face looks young once more. I can't decide what's worse: the memories of my childhood or the memories of being cast out. Looking at myself in the mirror brings back one or the other.

I had a stubble when we were cast out. But as a boy I was always clean shaven. Maybe I should grow a beard. I don't think I should. I put down the blade.

I hear a faint knock at my door. I walk over to answer it when I hear a voice.
"Please don't answer the door." It's Sofi. "I don't want to look at you when I tell you this. I just have to say it." I get closer to the door and place my hand on the door. "I care for you more than I've ever cared for anyone in the world." I want to crack a joke. I want to speak. But my voice just breaks.

"I don't want to loose you Zach." My name rolls over her tongue naturally. "So you have to let me go. I have to let you go. There's people... who could use my feelings against me. I don't want you to be brought into the middle."

"I-" she shushes me and I lean my forehead against the door. She sniffs.
"So let me go Zachariah. Let me go." I hear her footsteps walk away. I place my hands against the door for support.

"Don't leave me Sofi." I whisper. Her footsteps stop. She heard me. I hear her sigh and then continue to walk. She walked away. She left. That's it.

We're done for good this time.

But can we truly ever be done? I'd never admit it but, I love her.

"I love you." I whisper. Saying it out loud hits hard. Like everything that's ever happened is swirling around me in a flood. I close my eyes tight. When I open them there's floating dots in my vision. I sigh and open the door.