NANOWRIMO 2020

11.23 Will You Watch Anime With Me?

"I think I love her," Max said out loud.

Damien choked on his soda and it spurted out of his nose in a gush of boogers and orange liquid. "Wha-what? Why? HOW?"

"It's..." Max pondered his words. "A feeling."

"You guys have only been dating for six months dude, chillax," Damien wiped his nose on his sleeve and made a face. "Got a napkin?"

Max shook his head. Damien groaned. "Wait till she farts in front of you or if she has a funky mood swing."

"She's already farted in front of me," Max reasoned.

"And this is your first relationship, so you're probably just stuck thinking that it's something special," Damien continued.

"Okay but listen," Max said. "Remember how you said to not mention anime?"

"You fucking—"

"I did, and she liked it!" Max threw his hands up into the air. Damien gaped at him.

"So obviously the wedding is next week," Damien said.

"We were thinking in two, but we'll see if we can get a venue any earlier," Max replied.

"Stupid," Damien threw his empty can at Max but Max ducked under a bleacher, laughing. "That's it? That's the only reason you think you love her?"

"She's also really nice."

"She also has a really nice rack," Damien mused.

"Watch it," Max warned. "Keep your filthy eyes to yourself." Damien opened his eyes with his fingers in a mock chihuahua way. Max punched him in the arm and they both fell to the metal bleachers with a thud.

"Is she the anime girl of your dreams, Max? Do you dream of maid outfits and after school dates and trips to Japan?"

"Yes, well no but some yes," Max sputtered and turned away, blushing. "The after school dates have been fun..."

"Oh yes, how far have you gone?" Damien said gleefully.

"Fuck off for fuck's sake," Max pushed him a little harder this time and Damien's face lost its playful relaxation.

"Just asking a question, dude," and he pushed Max down into the bleachers. "Learn to take a joke."

"It wasn't funny," Max mumbled, looking out over the field and ignoring his friend's sudden change in temper. The baseball diamond was empty save for a few tottering crows collecting sunflower seeds and the lone pitcher mound slumped in defeat.

"It wasn't funny?" Damien asked. "I thought it was a fucking riot till you got your panties up your ass or I'm sorry, does she wear the underwear in this relationship?"

"What's your problem?"

"I don't have a problem, I'm making an observation."

"You're being an asshole."

"I am not the one with an asshole for a mouth, Max," Damien hollered. He turned to the field and started yelling outwards. "I HAVE MY ASSHOLE RIGHT WHERE I NEED IT, UNLIKE THIS FUCK HERE."

"Jesus, Damien get the fuck down," Max swatted at Damien but Damien jumped out of arm's reach. "You're scaring the goddamn crows."

"Do I look like I care?" Damien retorted and took another deep breath.

Max tackled him and they tumbled down the stairs, jabbing at each other and grunting. Max rolled away with a bloody lip and Damien jumped to his feet with a slightly bruised eye. "We gonna dance? Or you saving that for your wedding night?"

Max roared in response and shot at Damien's legs. Which in retrospect was a terrible idea to be doing to his near six foot tall friend who didn't play sports but frequented the gym like it was church.

Damien scooped him up and pulled him into a headlock and Max scrabbled at his neck, feet kicking up a dust cloud.

Max tried to flip him. He tried to swivel to the side, pull off his arm, swing into his ribcage to no avail.

And then Damien dropped him. Max gasped on the ground and looked up with bleary eyes to see Damien roll his neck muscles and flex his massive biceps. Definitely a bad idea to shoot for the legs. He should've gone for the head. It was empty but at least it would have given a satisfying, hollow thunk.

"So she's into anime," Damien said.

Max coughed and rubbed his throat. "Not really," he replied in a hoarse whisper. "She doesn't mind when we watch together. Like she'll get into it if the story is good."

"The story's always good," Damien scoffed. "What else?"

"She said the maid outfits were anti-feminist and she would never be caught dead wearing one of them."

"That's rough."

"It is what it is."

"Least you know so if that's a dealbreaker," Damien jerked his thumb over his shoulder and grimaced.

"She's really nice," Max said.

"You've mentioned. Like a thousand times," Damien drawled and plopped down next to Max. "'She's so nice,' or 'she said some nice things' or—"

"Girls don't like me bro," Max said miserably and his friend looked him over with one eye, the other closing fully thanks to that one lucky shot Max got in. Max wasn't really popular with the ladies, Damien had to admit. He was scrawny. Awkward stubble. Acne hiding under his oily fringe of hair. But he was a great guy. Funny, sarcastic, what he lacked in appearance he made up for in witty comments.

But Damien wasn't about to say any of that out loud.

"Girls are picky," Damien chose his words and let them fall out of his mouth slowly. "But she chose you right?"

Max gave him a small smile. "Yeah, I guess."

"And hey, six months is longer than any relationship I've ever had," Damien threw a rock.

"You're forgetting about your hand."

"Watch it," Damien warned, throwing a larger pebble buried in the sandlot.

They sat in comfortable silence for a while. Max spat out some blood and Damien blinked away the sweat pooling in his brow.

"I want a burger," Damien said.

"I have to meet up with my girlfriend, sorry dude." Max got up and dusted the dirt off his pants. "Do I look bad?"

"Terrible. Absolutely disgusting."

"Thanks."

"No problem."

"Catch you on Discord later?"

"Probably not."

"Not even to watch the next episode of Hunter?" Max teased and Damien gave him a side look out of his black eye.

"Are you asking me to watch anime with you?"

"Of course bro."

"Then yes. Yes I shall."