Fragile Tension (Alan Wilder x Martin Gore)

12: The Blessing

BREAKING: DEPECHE MODE'S ALAN WILDER AND MARTIN GORE TO WELCOME "NEW BAND MEMBER" IN NOVEMBER '86:

This week, electronic band Depeche Mode brought exciting news to the surface when they announced that they would be welcoming a new member, but not in the way they nor anyone else expected. Members Alan Wilder and Martin Gore are reportedly expecting a baby, of whom will be their firstborn child, later this year!

"It came as a massive shock," Wilder tells Smash Hits Magazine in a recent interview. "It's still sinking in, to be honest. But we are totally ecstatic to be becoming parents in November."

"It's hard to describe how I feel right now. I wasn't expecting to be expecting so soon," Gore laughs."But when I think about it, I wouldn't actually change anything. This baby is a blessing to Alan and I. We're simply over the moon!"

Smash Hits send their dearest congratulations to the couple and band. We can't wait to meet their new member!

Written by L. Pitchford, 28/06/1986
~~~~~
Three months later, September 1986:

*THUMP, THUMP, THUMP, THUMP, THUMP*

"That's 160 beats per minute!" The nurse announced as she jotted down in her notepad.

Sitting beside his partner who lied on the examination bed, Alan glared excitedly at him.

"So, that's not too fast?" Martin worried, looking down at his baby bump.

"No, not at all! That's what we see as a perfect heartbeat." The nurse assured him as she disconnected the probe wand from the doppler machine.

"Phew, okay, that's good then." He sighed in relief.

Alan then helped him to sit back up and swing his legs over the edge of the bed before the nurse began to speak of a new topic.

"So, Martin, you're 26 weeks if I'm correct?"

"Yeah." Martin rested his hand on the top of his stomach. "Almost 27."

"Which means that your glucose test is coming up..."

Hearing those words distressed him.

"Wonderful..." He replied sarcastically.

"It's no fun... It's definitely one of the hurdles pregnancy can bring, but you can overcome it!" She took Martin's hands, comforting him. "Isn't that right, Alan?"

"I couldn't agree more!" Alan answered as he rubbed his partner's back.

But Martin doubted himself.
~~~~~
"Mart... Mart..." Alan stood over the bed, gently shaking Martin awake.

"Mmmm... Yeah..." Martin groaned, rolling over.

"I'm sorry to wake ya, baby, but it's time to get up..."

"Why?" His partner whined as if he were a toddler.

"Your glucose test is at 9:30."

Martin was immediately filled with dread.

"Are you kidding me?"

"Unfortunately not," He sighed. "But it's to be cautious; the doctors need to know whether you've got gestational diabetes or not so they can start treating it if need be."

"What even is that?" Martin continued to groan.

"It's when you have diabetes for no reason other than the fact you're pregnant. It's not long-term; it'll go away after you've had the baby. But besides, we don't know if you have or haven't got it just yet."

"I guess that's why they make the drink so fuckin' sugary. Sugar first thing in the morning... Oh, Alan, I don't want to." Filled with anxiety, his partner became teary-eyed.

"Baby," Alan knelt down beside their bed. "I will be by your side the whole time, and so will this one." He put his hand on Martin's stomach.

Their unborn child gave a sharp kick against his hand.

"Woah,"

"You felt that too?"

"Yeah, I think they're on a sugar rush already!"

Martin giggled, his mood lightened.

"I'm going to do this for the three of us."
~~~~~
His fingertips trembling, Martin held the plastic bottle which was filled to the brim with a sickly sweet liquid in both hands.

Reluctantly, he unscrewed the cap and put his nose to the neck of the bottle, giving it a small sniff.

"Oh my God," He immediately faced away, his forearm covering his mouth. "It smells disgusting!"

"What's it smell of?" Alan asked from across the room. "Surely it's not that bad, love."

"Pure sugar. It's horrible." He grimaced at the pungent drink.

As he stared, the blockage he had forced upon his mind unblocked and memories of a shameful, traumatic and alienating time came flooding back.

Alcohol.

It drowned him.

"To think I used to get through a bottle of Lager in 10 minutes." He said in a light-hearted but cracked way.

Alan couldn't think of a suitable response. He sat in silence, any words to pass his lips pointless at that moment in time.

"That's of the past now, babe." He eventually said. "See this as a new chapter of our lives; we're about to turn a huge page."

"I guess I'm just feeling guilty. Sometimes I forget I'm pregnant because of touring. I don't have time to focus on anything other than that."

"But you'll have time soon," Alan was able to respond quickly this time. "We're down to our last three dates, and that's it. Then we can go home and focus on the baby a lot more."

Martin thought about the clothes they were yet to buy, the bedroom they were yet to decorate.

And more relevantly, the test he were yet to take.

"So much to get done, such little time." He massaged his temple.

"We'll get it all done, love. Together."

Martin looked down at the still full bottle, realising that if there were one man on the Earth of whom he would want to be the father of his child, he would choose him over any other. Alan Wilder.

He had never known a greater blessing.