Fragile Tension (Alan Wilder x Martin Gore)

8: The Suspicion

"He's doing a bit better now, yeah... but he's not himself. I don't know what it is. He's just not Martin." Alan spoke to Dave down the telephone, giving the teabag enough time to brew in the water.

His partner, of whom lied on the sofa beneath a quilt, couldn't help but eavesdrop on the phone call.

"I hope so too. If we had to cancel again... I mean, I wouldn't have a problem with it but I can't see him ever forgiving himself."

Alan was right.

"Mart and I will see you tomorrow hopefully. Alright, have a good night mate, buh-bye."

And the line went dead.
~~~~~
Trying to get comfortable, Martin flipped his body over to lie on his opposite side, purposely facing away from the vomit bucket which sat on the table beside him. He buried himself under the quilt and winced quietly to himself.

"Sorry it took a while, babe." Alan entered the room with a cup and saucer in his hands. "It's hot, so you'll have to give it a few minutes."

"Who were you talking to?" Martin removed the quilt from over his head.

"Dave; he wanted to know how you were getting on." The cup and saucer clanged against the table as Alan spoke. "Speaking of which, how are you getting on? Any better, or?"

"No, not really. In fact, it's getting worse." Martin sighed, every wave of nausea hitting him like a dozen bricks.

"I think you might have the flu." Alan frowned, feeling Martin's forehead. "Or maybe it's just a 24 hour bug. Sip slowly on your tea and try and get some sleep, baby. We'll see how you are tomorrow." He took his hand away from his forehead and replaced it with his lips.

"But I feel too sick to sleep." Martin felt a tear run down his face, exhausted from his evolving sickness.

"I know, baby, I know." Alan wiped the tear away. "But I think you should give it a try, even if it's just resting your eyes. Don't worry about coming up to bed with me; you can sleep here tonight."

"Okay. G-Goodnight." Martin whimpered as he and his partner hugged.

"Goodnight, my love, and just give me a holler if you need anything." Alan kissed his head once more before they kissed on the lips.

Making sure Martin was comfortable, he tucked the quilt tightly around him and switched off the living room light.
~~~~~
The bedroom was desolated. With only himself and his thoughts as company, Alan stared into space. Throughout the entirety of their relationship, events such as these had never taken place. It all felt new, different and agonising.

Suddenly, a thought of which came close to sweeping him off his feet riddled his brain. A thought of which would send nothing but pure, immense fear and anxiety radiating down his spine.

"No, no way." He whispered, aggressively shaking his head as he immediately began forcing the thought to the back of his mind.

"Forget it."
~~~~~
Martin awoke to a sliver of sunshine spilling through the closed curtains. To his great surprise, the nausea that'd overlooked the previous day was gone, as if it hadn't even been there in the first place.

"Must've fallen asleep at some point," He stretched and yawned.

Just as he was beginning to get up, Alan came sleepily stumbling into the room.

"Good morning, my love."

"Good morning." Martin smiled.

"You're looking a bit perkier today, babe." Alan walked over to him and kissed him gently. "Feeling better?"

"Yes, I am!" His eyes lit up.

"Mart, that's amazing! I'm so happy to hear that. Can I get you anything?" Alan rubbed his shoulder.

"Hmm... Can we have waffles for breakfast, please? They sound really good right now." He watched as he licked his lips.

"Oh, of course we can! The fact that you're wanting to eat is amazing, as well. I'll go get breakfast started now."

"Thank you." He answered in a sing-song tone as he draped the quilt over his shoulders, thinking about the sweet taste.
~~~~~
When the food was ready, Alan helped Martin to the dining room table where they sat down to eat.

"Thank you so much again, Al." Martin giggled, picking his knife and fork up.

"Not a problem, baby." Alan smirked back. "We ought to dig in."

"Yep, I'm starv- Oh no." All of a sudden, he doubled slightly over, for his bladder had started to act up.

"You okay?" Asked a concerned Alan as he took a mouthful.

"Yeah, yeah, I just need the bathroom really quick. I'll be back." Replied a frantic Martin as he rose from his chair.

"Okay... Wait, didn't you just go a minute ago?"

"Yeah, but I guess water just runs right through me! I can't help it." He rushed off to the bathroom.

"Can't change what you can't help." Alan mumbled to himself as he ate.

Deep down, he was worried about the way Martin was acting.

A few short minutes later, Martin arrived back at the table; his partner took his resurfacing as an opportunity to observe the way in which he ate.

It was completely different.

He ate at an abnormally fast pace, which Alan found to be most peculiar, considering the night prior's events.

"You must be really hungry." He joked, seeing his plate nearing emptiness.

"Oh yeah." Martin replied, his words slightly muffled from his consistent shoving of food into his mouth.

"Well, it's nice to see you eating, whether that be slow or fast." Alan nodded as he took a napkin to his mouth. "I'm gonna go and start the car. The other two are meeting us at the venue at 10."

"Alright." Martin looked up at him, twiddling his fork between his fingers.

Walking away, the same gut-wrenching thought as before struck Alan once again, tugging on his brain stem.

"Ugh, don't do that." He groaned. "Focus on something else, Alan, focus on something else..." His lips quivered as he whispered to himself.

Huffing, he placed his car keys into the ignition and turned it clockwise.
~~~~~
Though the day had started off well for him, Martin soon found himself trying not to vomit all over the car's interior.

And he wasn't going to hide it this time.

"Alan..."

"Yeah, love?"

"I feel sick again."

Hesitation.

In the corner of his eye, Alan could see Martin's face gradually paling.

"Oh no, really?"

"Yeah. I'm sorry."

"No need to apologise. Let me pull over."

Martin unwound his window as Alan did so, allowing himself to take the fresh air in.

Pulling off the main road they travelled on, Alan parked the car and gave Martin a water bottle.

"Just give me a minute." Martin's hands shook as he held the bottle and tried to let the nausea wave pass.

Which it did.

"Okay, okay, I'm okay. I'm okay now."

"Sure?" Alan's eyes glistened with anxiety as he asked.

"Sure." Martin assured him, climbing back into the car.

"Alrighty. We've not got long of the journey left, so don't you worry. And if you need me to pull over again, please let me know, babe."

"I will." Martin nodded, sipping on his water.

As it turned out, Alan would have to pull over twice more during the remainder of the journey to the venue.