Conquering the Great King

𝘗𝘢𝘳𝘵 10

When Oikawa opened the door to his apartment, there was a large man with disastrous hair lounging on his couch.

Oikawa pursed his lips into a frown, "Kuroo, didn't I tell you to stop just popping in whenever you felt like it?" He set his bag on the floor as he slipped off his shoes. Oikawa hadn't decided what he had wanted to do for the rest of the night; his most lucrative options had been: Drink Alone, Pout, and Drink Alone while Pouting. 

"I know, but Kenma's pissed off. He made me leave."

Oikawa rolled his eyes and moved to the kitchen. "So you piss off your boyfriend and invade my home?"

"Naturally," Kuroo chirped. He moved his gaze upward to leer at Oikawa over his phone, "wanna fuck?"

Oikawa dropped his hands down by his sides and delivered him a very nasty glare.

Kuroo returned his gaze to his phone nonchalantly, "Fine, fine, suit yourself."

Oikawa shook his head as he moved into the kitchen, "The day you say that and actually mean it is the day I know for certain that you truly aren't Kuroo, but an alien invader walking around in his skin." There was a pause as Oikawa withdrew tea leaves from the cabinet like a respectable adult and then continued in a slightly softer tone, "Kenma means everything to you."

"Uuhg I knooow," Kuroo moaned, flopping down on the couch and covering his face with a pillow. "I hate it when he's mad at me."

"What did you do this time?" Oikawa asked, acting put out but mostly just curious. There was a long pause and Oikawa ceased in his movements to glance out into the living room. "Kuroo?"

Still no response.

Oikawa felt his expression turn dubious, "Was it a sex thing?"

Kuroo peeked out from under the pillow with one eye.

"God dammit Kuroo."

"Aaaaah," Kuroo groaned into the pillow, making fists in the fabric, "I am a gross gross man and a horrible boyfriend."

"Jesus Christ," Oikawa sighed, putting water on the stove to boil.

Oikawa walked out to the living room, waved at Kuroo with his hand. "Scooch," he chirped right before flopping down next to him.

Kuroo was barely able to withdraw his legs in time. Oikawa let his arms sit like dead weight at his sides, shoulders slumping dramatically as he sighed. They both sat there, silently. Then Kuroo shifted his gaze over the pillow he still had hugged to his chest. "Are you okay? You're neither as happy or as obnoxious as usual. I'm concerned."

Oikawa snapped his head to look at Kuroo, eyes large and entirely serious, "Have I stopped being cute?"

Kuroo's face fell into a series of straight lines, his eyes gone flat. "What--"

"Someone told me no!" Oikawa squeaked, bouncing on the couch to more squarely face Kuroo. Then he turned away again, started nibbling on the tip of his thumb, "I was pretty sure I had won him over and then he goes and says that, I'm just not sur--"

"Maybe you forgot how to bottom," Kuroo commented, face beginning to fill with amusement once more.

Oikawa's head snapped to the side again, "What did you just say?'

"Nothing sweetie," Kuroo sing-songed into his pillow.

Oikawa slapped his knee and continued all too loudly, "Have the trends changed?"

Kuroo narrowed his eyes, finally raising his mouth above the edge of the pillow, "Do you mean is the majority of society no longer attracted to gaudy assholes and douchebags?" He twisted his mouth around as he rolled the thought through his head, "No, no people still seem to like me, so I think that trend still stands."

Oikawa hung his head and then the tea kettle wailed shrilly from the kitchen. Oikawa popped off the couch to take it off the heat. "Waaah," he moaned, making noise just to make noise, then in a lower voice, "I feel like I've been defeated."

"I honestly can't tell if you're talking about work or a romantic interest," Kuroo said from his spot on the couch, "but either way I can't really imagine you rolling over to accept your failings."

Oikawa crinkled his nose as clouds of steam wafted up against his face. He wasn't sure if he was more disturbed by the words "romantic interest" or "failings". He turned to face Kuroo, blinking at him sideways, "Wha--"

"I mean," Kuroo enunciated, already sure of what Oikawa was going to say, "you're not the type to give up on something important to  you."

Oikawa chewed on his bottom lip, then turned to pour the water over tea leaves. He felt himself starting to spiral into over-thought again but he attempted to slow down and listen as Kuroo continued.

"If it's not that important to you, then whatever. Stop complaining," Oikawa emerged from the kitchen with two cups of tea, watching his face. "But if it's actually bothering you, then show that it's important to you."

Oikawa sat down and pushed a cup across his coffee table at Kuroo, "I don't think it's that simple."

Kuroo blinked at Oikawa, then gave a heavy shrug, "If someone closes a door in your face, kick it open."

"Kick it open," Oikawa repeated, staring at the steam rising from his cup.

There was another long silence as they both stared down at their cups. Kuroo was the first to break it, "Is that herbal tea?"

Oikawa smiled at him, humming proudly, "Mm! Organic."

Kuroo pursed his lips, his voice dry, "So fancy."

"I am."

"And also a food prude."

Oikawa tried to shove him over on the couch, but he stayed in place, "At least I'm not a gross gross man and a horrible boyfriend!" he yelled, slapping his shoulder when he wouldn't fall.

"Only because you don't have a boyfriend, you fucking pervert."

Oikawa pulled the cushion off the back of the couch and smacked him with it.