𝘗𝘢𝘳𝘵 43

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"Hey Iwa-chan," Oikawa greeted, walking through the front door.

"Hey," Iwaizumi greeted, moving to give him a quick kiss on the mouth.

Oikawa smiled, "Was there a reason you wanted me to come here tonight? Not that I mind or anything--"

"Yeah, I just..." Iwaizumi's eyes fell away from his face, "need to talk to you about something." He turned around to walk into the kitchen, grabbing two cups of tea. He sat down at the dining table, pushing a glass across from him for Oikawa.

Oikawa watched the motion, and his bright smile slowly pulled nervous at the edges. "Okay," he said, moving to join him with hesitation in his voice.

Oikawa sat across from him. He looked the same as always. Iwaizumi had to remind himself that, because everything was steeped in grit to him, like his vision was blurring with the turmoil in his chest.

"So," Iwaizumi began, and wow his voice was not near as steady as he wanted it to be, "After lunch Irihata-san called me into his office for a chat."

"Not another client," Oikawa breathed, looking mildly horrified.

"No," Iwaizumi answered quickly, "no, not another client."

Oikawa tilted his head.

"The publisher up north. The one my new client came from."

Oikawa started shifting, eyes stuck on Iwaizumi's face but body coiling tight with tension.

"They want me to take over as their lead editor." Iwaizumi swallowed, blinked, "Up there."

Oikawa's entire being stilled.

Iwaizumi desperately tried to maintain eye contact with him, "It would come with a nice pay increase, higher status clients, a larger department, all that."

Iwaizumi was unnerved by the steady and ultimately unreadable expression on Oikawa's face. Oikawa's hands were clasped together on the table in front of him. There was a tremble in his fingers.

He let out a breath, eyes moving away from Iwaizumi's face and to the surface of the table. "Um," he started, voice quiet and weak. His lips were twitching, almost like they were trying to smile, out of habit or maybe nervousness, but the wavering motion gave them away. "Long--" he cleared his throat and brought his eyes back to Iwaizumi's, "Long distance?" he asked, voice uncertain. He blinked once, light chocolate eyes glassy.

Iwaizumi's chest was pulled tight. Too tight. He felt like he couldn't breathe. "Is that what you want?" he asked, his own voice a little thin.

Oikawa's lips parted, his eyes blinking away from Iwaizumi before moving back again. A shaky breath trembled from his throat, and Iwaizumi felt his heart squeeze pain in his chest.

"Do you think we can do that?" Iwaizumi revised, swallowing hard. He was staring at Oikawa, and Oikawa was looking away again, and his eyes were slowly growing a little wider with something that almost looked like panic. "Oikawa," Iwaizumi said, and Oikawa more firmly anchored his gaze on the table, "you have a career here. A very strong one. And if I went there, it would be the same for me. Where would the end be? When would we--" Iwaizumi cleared his throat, "when would we be able to look forward to actually being together again? In the capacity we have been?"

Oikawa was lightly shaking his head, "I--" His hands shook on the table.

Iwaizumi leaned forward and covered Oikawa's hands with his, "I haven't decided yet," he told him, voice as even as he could make it. "I didn't give an answer. I have time to think about it."

Oikawa's eyes were definitely wide now, and they were definitely fighting back a sheen of tears, but Oikawa wasn't looking at him, was pretending that those tears didn't exist. "Is it even a question?" he whispered.

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