Chapter 60 - Hot make-up sex pt. 2

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*smut*

y'all kept asking so you're welcome.

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I walk towards the door of Harry's London house. I've never been here before so I'm excited.

I'm also very happy that everything got sorted out. I was scared I was going to lose Harry, that he was going to leave again like he's done before.

And that's why I realized that we're not ready for a real relationship.

I know, Harry's perfect and he likes me and told me he'll wait for me and all that. But I realized that I was so quick to just assume he was leaving me again after one little misunderstanding.

I guess I don't fully trust him. I want to, I want to really bad, but I can't. I'm in love with him and I eventually want to be with him, but I can't ignore the fact that in the back of my mind there is a voice telling me that him leaving is a very real possibility.

So, I think it's best if we keep things casual. And that's exactly what I'm going to tell him.

I just need to figure out how..

The door opens and I see Harry looking at me with furrowed eyebrows and a concerned look.

"Are you alright?" He asks.

"Yeah, why?" I ask.

"Because you've been standing out here and staring at my door for 3 minutes."

"Oh." I say, looking at the ground and scratching the back of my neck awkwardly.

"Here, let me take your suitcase." He says, grabbing it from my hand.

I follow him inside and look around. The decorations are similar to the LA house. Simple, expensive furniture with a few paintings and framed albums hung up on the walls.

Harry leads me upstairs to his room and sets my suitcase on the bed, turning to me with a smile.

"Alright, so-"

"I just want to keep things casual." I blurt out, slapping my hand over my mouth.

Harry's face drops and I see his face flash with hurt, glancing down at the floor and avoiding my gaze.

I frown looking at him. I know he's been so nice about all of this, but it doesn't fix the fact that I don't trust him. I have abandonment issues so getting in a relationship with someone who I still think might abandon me isn't fair to me, or him.

"I'm sorry." I whisper, just loud enough for him to hear.

"No, it's fine." He shakes his head, looking back up to me. "I understand."

"We don't have to do this, H." I say, my voice weak.

"Do what?" He asks, giving me a confused look.

"This.. it's just is unfair to you. You don't need to keep waiting on me. You deserve something better." I furrow my eyebrows, looking at the ground and shaking my head.

He deserves better. It's not fair to keep leading him on only for something else to change and mess everything up. I'm too complicated and we both know it.

"But I want to wait on you." He replies.

"Why?" I shake my head, looking into his eyes.

He doesn't reply, just stares at me for a few seconds before looking back down at the ground.

"I think we should just go back to being friends. It's less drama and we can finish the album." I say.

"If that's what you want." Harry replies, his voice so soft I almost didn't here him.

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