i sat with mum at her apartment. she looked over my shoulder "whos jumper is that?"
i looked back "fuck," i mumbled "um-," i exhaled nervously "its harry's." i didn't bother lying to her, i was done lying to everyone about him.
"olivia told me about you two. she's told me everything," mum continued to say "he cheated on his girlfriend to be with you, then he made you fall in love with him, he made you do all sorts with him, then you call a break, and then he cheats on you, breaks your heart and you went running back to him a year later."
"but mum," i looked up at her "you don't know what's going on. harry's different."
"what do you know about love?" she scoffed in my face.
"but you didn't have a problem with me being in love when it was zayn, so what's your problem with harry?" i raised my voice slightly.
"zayn was good for you."
"and harry isnt?" i furrowed my eyebrows "you didn't even give him a chance. you dismissed the idea of him straight away."
"because he came into my home while i wasn't there."
"that's why you don't like him?"
"zayn treated you well. he respected you." mum defended zayn. hearing her talking about zayn like this made my blood boil, she didn't know anything about that relationship.
"mum don't make me shout at you." i felt like i was gritting my teeth to try and stop me from lashing out on her.
"no say it." she raised her voice at me.
"zayn raped me!" i shouted at her and i felt like i could finally breathe.
mums eyes filled with tears and she swallowed her saliva "what?"
a felt a lump in my throat "yeah mum." i chocked out.
"what do you mean?" tears fell from her eyes.
"he raped me," i sniffled "two months before he died, or disappeared."
"why- why didn't you tell me? why did you wait so long?" mum cried.
"i found it so difficult to talk to you about anything. mum you know how much i love and respect you, but theres things that i find difficult to tell you." i confessed.
"who did you tell then?" she let her tears fall.
"just olivia, then i told harry just before we broke up, the first time."
"that explains so much more now."
"i didn't sleep for years, i had nightmares every night. it wasn't until i met harry they started going away, then zayn came back and they would come every now and again, but they've stopped fully now."
i explained the story to mum and we both cried.
alex walked into the house and was confused when he saw us both crying. "what's going on here?" he looked nervous before we told him everything. "that disgusting pig." alex shouted "mum, you let him stay at our house after he ddi that to your daughter!"
"alex, there's no point of shouting at mum. she didn't know. i've healed, please don't be mad at zayn. i've sorted things out with him, i need to move on."
mum sniffled "is that's what you want, then we have to respect that." mum took my hand and squeezed it "i'm so sorry you had to suffer on your own." mum hugged me tightly and alex hugged both of us.
"i love you both so much." alex cried softly.
"i love you guys too." my words came out muffled because i was talking into mum shoulder.
"i love you." mum kissed mine and alex's head "please, never be afraid to tell me anything."
