Heartbreaks Heal (Larry Mpreg)

This is Our Future

"I can't get over how unbelievably perfect she is..." Louis breathed, allowing his fingers to delicately trace over her sleeping features.

They where currently waiting for Gigi and Zayn to arrive with Arlo, so they are making sure to spend as much quality time with Alaïa as possible.

"You did good babe... real good." Harry hummed , his own fingers rubbing through her soft blonde hair. "Do you think Arlo will be ok?"

"I think he will... he loves all the other kids."

"Yeah but they're all older... Alaïa is a baby."

Louis took a second to think, looking over at Harry's concerned face. "True.. but he's a sweet boy Haz, we raised him well. I doubt he'll hate her or anything so stop worrying yeah?"

"Ok I'll try... you ok? Those paracetamol taking the edge off the pain?"

"A bit .. you weren't messin' when you said the after pains would hurt just as much huh?"

Harry winced in sympathy, leaning over their sleeping daughter to kiss Louis' forehead.
"Unfortunately not baby... but she's worth it right?"

"More than worth it.. look at those beautiful pouty lips, and those little dimples, oh god don't forget the eyelashes... she's ours Haz. Of course she's worth it."

Harry smiled wide at that, looking down towards their girl. Neither one of them speaking a word until Louis began to softly cry.
"What's wrong?"

"It's just- shit this time five years ago.. we where saying goodbye to our baby H.. now- now we get to- shit I'm sorry." Louis cried.
"I-I just wish we could of d-done this with A-Amelia... she was perfect too! She deserved to breathe , to live, to love , to laugh, to cry, to have her heartbroken, to come out on top... g-god I hate that she didn't get to live!"

Harry was openly crying .. he too wished that his tiny girl had gotten the chance to live. But life had other plans and sometimes those plans are shit.
"I-I remember coming home without her... I-I remember how- how scared you where for me."

"Y-you were so broken." Louis whispered , both of their hands joining over their daughters chest.
"T-truth is.. that's the day I knew I'd lost you."

"I-you didn't lose me."

"But I did H, you weren't yourself.. you was destroyed and nothing I did helped.. god do you not remember the fight we had that day?"

"I-I-.." Harry paused trying his best to remember every single part of the day.

"I-I truly believed that day you didn't love me anymore... that the grief had completely taken you..." Louis began explaining.

Harry's mind drifting back to the day ...

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Louis shakily slid into the bed beside his exhausted boyfriend, Harry instinctually snuggling into his side.  He looked so peaceful, his soft , brown curls fanning out around his head like a halo and a soft purse to his lips.  Louis wished he could keep him like this forever, in this contented state between waking and sleep.  After seeing the state he was in last night - god he never wanted to see him like that ever again. He never wanted to go through this ever again... even if that meant never having children. Without his knowledge or permission, a few tears leaked from the corners of his eyes and landed on Harry's chin.  Louis swiped them away with the pad of his thumb, which lingered there for a moment too long, tracing back and forth across the perfect angle of his jaw.

"Mmm, Lou," Harry mumbled sleepily, his chin bobbing down so that he could press his lips against Louis' gentle fingers.  His movements were slow, sloppy, and he was obviously still heavily under the influence of whatever calming drugs they had given him.