Tracing The Stars H.S AU

Chapter 19- Opening Up

Tw: Heavy themes of sexual assault and depression. This chapter was tough for me to write. I got emotional writing it. Even started tearing up. :( It's gonna hurt, I'm sorry. You can always talk to me if you need someone to talk to after you read the chapter.

"Is Harry okay?" I asked Maya, who was sitting at Harry's desk, putting on some makeup.

These past few days, Harry and I haven't really been in a good spot. He seems to be out of it all the time. I know he saw his Mom at the game. Maya was quick to point her out that day. Maya originally told me that she didn't know much about Harry's mom, but I can't help but feel like she is holding information back from me.

"If I'm being honest with you, he hasn't said anything."

Tonight Maya was going to someone's party. She stopped by Harry's place to check up on him. She didn't mention whose party it was, and I didn't really care because Harry and I were planning on spending the night together. I told my mom I was going to sleepover at Megan's house, which was obviously a lie. I felt bad about lying to my parents about where I was, but I know if I told them I was going to spend the night at Harry's, they would be pissed.

I'm going to have to make my own decisions at one point. I'm eighteen years old now, and I think I am more responsible than I was before. Plus, I truly felt safe and comfortable with Harry. I wasn't sure if we were going to have sex tonight, but I made sure to shave just incase. I even put on a nice pair of underwear tonight. I wasn't necessarily expecting to have sex with him tonight, but I wanted to be prepared if we did.

"Hey." Harry walks in and I could just tell he was tired. His hair looked a mess, and he had bags underneath his eyes.

I wonder if he was getting enough sleep.

"Alright, well, I have to go." Maya gets up and pushes Harry's chair in. She whispers something in his ear as she walks by, closing the door.

"What was that?" I ask Harry, who walks up to where I was sitting on the bed, pulling me close to him.

"Nothing. She just worried about me for no reason."

I turn around, so I'm sitting with my knees tucked into my chest, facing Harry. "I'm worried about you too." My hand reaches out to caress his face."

"I'm alright, peach. I promise."

"Do you have homework?" I ask him.

"No, but I have to edit some pictures for the yearbook club."

"Yearbook club? You never told me you're in yearbook club."

"I'm not." He sighs. "Their photographer dropped out last minute, so I'm just helping them."

"Are you sure you handle all of that? You seem really stressed." Harry walks away from the bed, reaching for his camera that is sitting on his desk. "I know everything is probably hard right now with your mom and soccer. I just want to help. Maybe we could ta-."

"Jesus Blair! I don't want to fucking talk about it!" Harry yells, turning to face me and letting his camera fall on top of the bed."You can't even open up to me about your past, so what gives you the right to pry into mine."

My eyes go cold, and I suck in a deep breath. That's definitely not what I expected him to say to me, or is it what I wanted him to say.

"Fuck, I'm sorry Blair. He apologizes. "I'm just stressed and I shouldn't be taking my anger out on you."

"No, we can talk about it."

Harry has a look of surprise on his face. "I-." His voice trembled. "We don't have to if you don't want to. I never want to force you to do something you're not comfortable with."