Tracing The Stars H.S AU

Chapter 4- Deny, Deny, Deny

Blair's POV

I was glad Harry found me today. I have never seen him look so stressed.

Harry was the type of guy who was carefree. He just kind of went with the flow and didn't let much bother him. So when he came up to me with that defeated look on his face, it was like someone went and kicked a puppy.

But I completely understood why he felt the way he did.

He had an immense amount of pressure on him to perform at his best when he honestly didn't even know what his best looked like.

Since his accident, he hasn't played a full scrimmage, and I could see how much it was affecting him. I honestly think he just needed a few kind words and encouragement. I was sure that he would make the team; watching him practice yesterday, it looked like he was getting better to his old self.

After Harry left, I stayed in the music room for a couple of hours not only to practice a couple of more songs for my college auditions, but I was freaking out because Harry and I touched again.

I don't know why it is so easy for me to be around him. Post Justin break-up, me would have lost my mind if I was holding hands with a guy, and honestly, I probably still would freak out to this day, But I wasn't holding hands with just any guy. It was Harry.

Ever since that night we talked on the field, and he took me to Gabe's party, I think I'm slowly developing a crush on him.

At the start of senior year, I told myself no boys because they cannot be trusted. They are dicks.

But could you really blame me for having a crush on Harry Styles? Not only was he the definition of dreamy, but he was way too sweet to me.

There was no possible way he could even remotely like me. I honestly don't think any guy would like me for me. I shouldn't read too much into Harry's kindness. He was like that with everyone.

I wasn't going to stop by tryouts before heading home, but I wanted to see how Harry was making out. So I headed down to the field and stood beside the bleachers. My eyes instantly found Harry. He was traveling upfield with the ball. He was playing striker, which didn't surprise me. That was his position sophomore year. Before a defender on the opposing team could swoop in and steal the ball, he shoots the ball, standing a couple of feet above the centerline, and with a curve, the ball lands perfectly on the left side of the goal.

Harry instantly runs to Gabe, jumping directly on top of him. Gabe seems equally as happy, embracing his bear hug.

Just as I was about to leave, Harry's eyes found mine, and he flashes me a wicked smile and mouths "thank you" in my direction.

I sent him back a quick smile and a wave, blushing at the fact that he even noticed me standing near the bleachers.

+++

Once I got home, I spent the rest of the day doing homework and working on college apps. I usually spent my days buried in schoolwork or working at Joe's, the cafe shop near my school. My therapist has been telling me that I should get out more and socialize with people. I've been thinking about telling her about how Harry and I touched.

She would be proud of me.

As I was finishing my work, I thought my mom knocked on my bedroom door.

"Come in," I yelled, focused on my laptop.

Instead of my mom, I see Megan,  dressed just as stylish as always a white crop top and a pink skirt.

"Hey, B! I hope you don't mind; your mom let me in."

"Oh, hey, Megan, it's no problem. What are you doing here?"

She takes a seat on the chair next to my bed before speaking. "Look, I just want to apologize for not being the best friend this summer. You completely ghosted the friend group right when you had your break-up with Justin, and I should have known something was wrong. I was a selfish bitch, and I just got caught up in partying this summer, and I'm so sorry because I have missed you so much."

I didn't hate Megan. We had been best friends for so long. Megan and I talking this summer was partially my fault, and I didn't want her to think our friendship growing apart this summer was because of her.

"It's okay, Meg. It's not your fault. I think I just needed to work out some stuff, but I'm glad you came over. I've missed you too."

"Blair, thank God you don't hate me!" Megan screeches, collapsing on top of me and pulling me into a hug.

"Alright, I love you too, but you are suffocating me." I squirm underneath her.

She giggles, pulling herself off of me. "You are coming to Gabe's party tonight, right?"

I scrunch my eyebrows at her. "Gabe is having another party tonight?"

"Yeah, the soccer team list comes out in an hour, and he has a party to get all the newbies drunk before their first day of practice tomorrow."

My first instinct was to say no, but then I remembered how much fun I had at the last party with Gabe and Harry.

Harry.

If I went to the party tonight, I could always ask him if he made tryouts. I could always text him and ask, but I could congratulate him in person if I went.

As if Megan was reading my mind, she speaks up, saying exactly what I was thinking. "Harry will be there."

Deny, deny, deny.

"Harry! What does that have to do with anything?"

Megan rolls her eyes, "Please, he was basically undressing you with eyes last night. You know we are not blind, right. Gabe and I saw you and Harry all over each other at the party last night."

"Harry is a friend. Plus, he would never go for someone like me."

Megan frowns. "What do you mean?"

I sigh, "We are talking about Harry Styles here. Did you forget I was on the cheer team once? He goes for girls who literally look like they belong in a vogue catalog. I look and dress like a homeless person."

"You dress like a cute homeless person, and Blair, I think you forgot. You are Blair Parker! Did you forget freshman year you had boys bowing at your feet! You still do!"

"I know, Meg, I know. I want to be freshman Blair again. I want to be confident in my looks, and I want to go to parties and have fun with you." I start to feel myself starting to break down, but I quickly take a deep breath to gain my composure. "I'm trying, Megan, I really am."

"Hey, do you wanna talk about it?" Megan asks, placing her hand on my shoulder. "What happened with you and Justin Blair?"

I wanted to speak. I wanted something to come out of my mouth. My therapist has been telling me that opening up to someone other than her might help, but telling people would mean having to talk about it. I wasn't sure I could talk about Justin and I without completely breaking down.

Megan seemed aware of my uneasiness. "Hey, you know what, it's okay. Let's not talk about that asshole. You are going to have the time of your fucking life tonight that I can promise you."