Just a Little Bit

Let Me Explain

P10 Let Me Explain-
The Winchester Diaries:

I got out a plate and sprinkled some bread crumbs on it, Sam still wasn't out of his room and Dan and Cas were probably making out among other things. I put the plate on the table and sat down when I heard foot steps headed my way.
"Sam?" I called out, I could tell it was him cuz he shuffles his feet in the morning.
"Ya Tara? Oh your pancakes were great," He hollered back stretching his arms as he came into the room. I smiled at him with pleasure to have pleased. "What did you have for breakfast?"
"Toast," I said looking down at my crumb covered plate, I picked it up and put it in the sink. "How long where you going to keep it from me?"
"Hm?" Sam obviously knew what I was talking about, he went white at the question.
"How long have Cas and Dean been a thing?" I interrogated again.
"Oh, hahaha," he seemed relieved, "I don't know, it just sorta happened one day, but I've seen it coming since They laid eyes on each other."
I gave him the I cannot believe you face Dean so commonly uses, "so how come I'm finding out now!" I was very frustrated. I do not like bring left out of the loop.
"It's never really come up or anything. And they aren't big on PDA for clear reasons." He sat down at the table with a glass of water, I followed sitting down across from him. "Frankly I'm surprised you didn't find out sooner, you how many times you've walked in ok them." I looked at him puzzled. Never once have I seen Cas in Deans room. "Well, you barge in enough to my room, I'd assume you do the same to Dean."
"No I do, kinda, but I don't understand."
"Ok. You know when you walk in on Dean doing push-ups in bed... He's not doing push up in bed. That's stupid."
My eyes went wide and I understood everything. Freaking angels can fly where ever they want. But this was the first time over quietly entered the room. I swallowed hard, "oops."
"You need to learn to knock. Isn't that a thing on the tardis?" Sam got up and started to exit to the library to work on another case. "Make me lunch if your going to be home all day, thanks." And he left.
Come to think of it, on the tardis I was always with Jack when Rose and the Doctor weren't around. He would keep an eye on my so he wouldn't have to worry about me waking in on anything. I'm all alone here.

Cas poped into the kitchen, "hey, Tara."
"Hey Cas." I said ashamed.
"Let's go somewhere else." He placed his hand on my shoulder and pulled me to the park.
It was cloudy out, there was a street lap and a bench waiting for the two of us to have a long talk, I could feel it.
"I'm sorry I didn't knock."
"I'm sorry I haven't told you everything." We made our way to the lonely bench and sat down. I glanced at the trees shivering orange and red leaves in the chilled air.
"What else haven't you told me? Are you two engaged?" I said as a joke, but, Cas doesn't get jokes, he found it rude.
"I'm not hear to talk about Dean and I, you need to bother him to get answers because I don't understand when we do in his bed room eathier, it feels good and it's with Dean. That's all I care about." He looked at me, I was green, way to much detail. "I'm here to talk about you."
"What about me? I'm fine." I looked down at my feet, he knew. I'm not sure how but he must have found out.
"Tara, your not a hunter, your not a time lord, or an angel, or bad wolf. Your human. You can break."
"I know, but I haven't." Cas rolled his eyes at my comment.
"Your not understanding me," he looks heart broken, "there are something's you cannot remember, I wish I could tell you but your not ready yet."
"I thought you fixed my memory!"
"This goes back long before you met Sam and Dean."
"Can you slow down for just like two seconds!" I had my head in my hand, I started to breath heavily.
"Let me explain." He took my hands from and head and pulled me close. I could hear his hear, so calm. "Tara, I'm your guardian angel."