love; and other disorders

XIII. Boarding Pass: Future Mars Mission

NATIONAL AERONAUTICS
SPACE ADMINISTRATION

BOARDING PASS: FUTURE
MARS MISSION
M2M: #07026-♡

TIME OF DEPARTURE:

UNKNOWN

TIME OF ARRIVAL:

UNKNOWN

LAUNCH SITE:
AMYGDALA--- MIND

and the story
begins like this:

jonah was swallowed by a
whale who swallowed the sun,
the stars, and the entire solar
system and held them on its
midnight blue tongue. it felt
airy, it felt morphine, it felt breathless, and jonah fell in
love.

('said the stars 'neath his feet
felt light n' lucid; like
something he would never be
taken away from)

('said that for the first time,
he felt like he was loved back.)

(like his lost liqueur star sailor
eyes didn't need to be quite so
found anymore.)

the loneliness of his
heart tore it into a
black hole full of
stars---

he found himself
watching a meteor
shower beside the
whale's starlight eyes,
his own brimming with
vintage yellow tears that
slowly floated away.

for the first time in
eighteen centuries, his
bloodied hands didn't
have to hold prophecies
any longer than the
promises that always
ebbed and hurt.

the big brown broken
boat didn't have to find
him anymore, not when
the lost river of blue
stars and the planets
of the quiescent universe
inside the whale felt so
much like home.

and the story
begins like this:

theoretical calculations
and telescope
caricatures of how the
world came to be is
better left unstated.

"there is something so
beautiful about the
ignorance to how
something came to be,"
socrates proclaims as he,
the broken satellite boy,
staggers as he chases his
lover boy floating away
from him and towards the
vast space.

when his pale moon hands
could no longer reach his
lover boy, he chased him
through a telescope every
night, watching him slowly
but surely fall in love with
someone else promises and
shooting stars and beyond
and infinity away.

he started to calculate the philosophies of why he left--- connected the constellations
to re-live their love story
across the sky and charted the coordinates where something
so lovely could have gone
so wrong.

eventually, he left his heart
near the telescope.

cartographies were stained
with catara-strophic tears
beside his feverish moon body
that was shivering in the cold
of the night,

his trembling hands clutched
the poorly hand drawn maps
of how they could find
themselves in each other's arms again.

"i love you an eternity
i cannot give but i would've
loved you the best i can."

and they'll tell you in the
history books about how he
[socrates] understood
astronomy and love so very well
but never about the pain he
faced in order to attain that.

he left his heart near the
telescope, and all his love for
him beside it in case he came
back.

"i love you an eternity
i cannot give but i
would've loved you the
best i can."

(you left him
bleeding,
unknown boy.)

and the story begins like this:

we're all broken in our own
ways.

broken but breathing and
breathing but broken but
never not nonetheless
beautiful.

we're all just aiming
wanderlessly, picking up the
pieces of the heart we broke
on the way home,

trying our very best to breathe
again.

and the story
ends like this:

i had you and you had i.
i had you and you had i.
i had you and had i, and
i-had-you-and-you-had-i
had a little house on
Mars. whose chimney
smokes silver dreams
and silver linings.

and the front door is
always open to a space
and a time, to love.

"Take my hand and we'll
go into a time capsule.
We don't know where
we're going, but time will
show us the way, as it
always does. We'll have
ourselves and each other
and that's always been
always more than what's
enough."

ARRIVAL SITE:

SUPERIOR VENA
CAVA--- HEART

we'll get there
someday, you
and i.