The proposal

Chapter 1

" Yes girl I am sober, I am not hundred percent well but I am fine I feel like I can do this." I told my best friend Chelsey for an hundred time as I pick the hill heading to my new job. I am emotionally wreck and devastated I had no idea I would have mange to pull this off after what I have been through the past night I had no idea I could thought of going back out there facing people after what I did last night. It was one of the most embarrassing night of my life.... I still remembered how awful it was, its so bad I didn't want to think about it but it keep popping up in my mind whenever I am all alone, whenever I thought of moving on like now.
flashes of last night will show up in my mind then and now turning my mood completely off, but when I thought about my aunt and how hard she work to push me, I decided to let everything go, it's already too late regretting confronting my parents back then, I shouldn't have let my anger gotten the best of me, I shouldn't have let all what my aunt had train me went down the drain like that I know if she was with me last night she would have been really ashamed of me, of my actions I know no matter how hard those people hurt me I didn't have the right charging in there home insulting them before everyone and blabber to there children who I am despite them warning me not to, but I was too angry, I was too way ahead above my self I let my temper take control of me and push me so hard I was blinded by my anger, I get it that they did me wrong, I get it that I was hurt traumatized but at the end of the day I knew better than to behave like that I was grown better than that, I knew better than to hunt down revenge knowing its a bad thing to do, yes they hurt me and treat me like I don't exist and they still do but I shouldn't have go about things better than that, I should have listen to them to speak in private but I didn't because I was stupid, I was not in my right mind and the alcohol in my system didn't help either, but I guess I do deserve that slap from my mother... It was not what I was thinking at the precise moment but its actually good in a way yes it was embarrassing at its best but it sort of knock some sense in me, doe she did humiliated me and chastise me all the way I needed to got kick back into reality.

don't you there disrespect me and my family like that.

Her words still evident in my head... It hurts that she considers them as her family and not me, but deep down I was wrong.
The sting is still evident on my right cheek, her hand prints was left there I had to really place some strong make-up over it to cover it. I was on a stupid mission last night I wanted to expose there dirty secret but and doe I got successful doing that it didn't makes me feels good in my self instead I felt worst, I felt even more hurt and I was even disgust with my self too. Especially when that guy showed up.
I remembered the way he looks at me the night he were inside of me only a week ago to last night he was only looking at me with nothing but disgust. I had never thought I would have seen that man again in my life from the night he fuck me hard and leave me the next morning without a word, the worst mistake of my life, I thought back then we had something special, I thought he was my sole mate I was looking all over for but he was nothing I thought he was an entire different person a stranger I must say, I let him into my bed, my heart and I enjoyed being with him, I didn't only gave him my body that night but I gave him a piece of me that night... And when I woke up with an empty bed the next morning I was disappointed, I felt use and hurt. He made promises to me that were not even real he played me and I was plane stupid for believing him I hate him from then I wish I didn't see him again but there he was into the venue of my sole call parents anniversary party, he seems really close to them because he defended them like his own he chastise me and look down at me he acts as if he had never met me in his life, I remembered how broken I become after that I had never been so hurt like how I was last night I thought my parents had broke me but no he broke the fucking record, he finish me right then and there and that wasn't all after the President and his wife both kids walk off completely upset they followed without sparing me a glance, they left me completely floored and still I didn't say a word I just stand there lost in a daze even when he ordered me and everyone one out, before walking away from my present without sparing me a glance, I had never been so humiliated and broken ever he really did finished me there, he had such an strong effect one me that he made me bloody cried then and dear even when I thought there was no more tears left in my eyes.
I remembered leaving peacefully, silently and empty I was numb, I was lost. But I blamed my self I got what I was looking for, the one time I let a man in he broke me in pieces, the moment I met my birth parents my world tore even more down I was destroyed and still am. I destroyed a family too I broken there hearts very badly I went behind my limits maybe that's why I ended up like that, it was my fault I shouldn't have went there, but I did and I left a dent on my career even before it started, I am very sure my pictures must be all over the damm news and in every papers I am sure I am the talk of the town, no scratch that I mean the entire world and I am certain it wasn't a good look on my side I ruined a family, not just the family I stain the President of America image people will never look at him the way they use to and I really didn't feel good about that, no matter what they did to me I shouldn't have went that far but its too late to regret my actions now its too late to back down and turn around like my nothing happen, life goes on and doe I felt like I didn't want to face the world today with the help of my best friend uplifting words and my aunt trust built in me I decided to show up for work today, because of them I am able to face the world even doe I didn't want to.