Lost To Darkness (CallMeKevin Fanfic)

Chapter 4: Scars and Flashbacks

(Nina's Pov) *TRIGGER WARNING!!* (Also yes felt really disgusting writing this but oh well)

*Flashback*

I fluttered my eyes open seeing I was tied to my bed...I immediately knew what was happening as I squirmed and tried to wake up but I couldn't...each nightmare was the same...of my foster brother raping me...I looked around seeing I was in my old bedroom in Utah...the room was dark and it was silent.

I tried screaming and moving but I was tied to the bed and a tie was wrapped around my mouth to forbid me from screaming and crying. My heart immediately quickened as my breathing got heavy. I shivered as I looked down seeing I was already stripped out of my clothes...

I looked to see I was 10 again...I can't tell you how many times he's touched me or made me do things I didn't want to...he'd have me in different positions, he'd go down on me, he'd force me to touch him...for 3 fucking years...3 years...

I begged and cried incoherent words and heard chuckling. I looked seeing my foster brother was right by bed smirking. My chest heaved as I struggled and pulled at my restraints as hard as I could not caring about the pain that swelled inside me.

My foster brother laughed as he got closer to me which made me whimper and back away as much as possible. He put a finger to his lips and hushed me as he pushed my wet hair out of my face. I whimpered and cried out which made him smirk as he ran his hands from my face down to my bare chest.

My body trembled as his rough hands ran down to my stomach and to my innocence, he laughed "Awe you look so cute when you're scared...now do me a favor and don't scream or I will hurt you" he said as he touched me which made me screw my eyes shut just begging for this to be over...

This was wrong, this was so wrong on so many levels...I was screaming, I was dying on the inside, I begged and begged to wake up and for him to stop be only laughed and whispered dirty things to me...why? WHY ME!? He took off his pants and boxers and hovered over my small body.

I cried hysterically and squirmed with all my might trying to get him off me but he wouldn't move. It only made him angrier as he grabbed me by my throat to keep me still. I gasped and coughed as I couldn't hear anything but my own racing heartbeat in my ears...I felt like going to die.

He didn't even care about a condom as he shoved it in me which made me scream till my voice became raw. The pain was unbearable, I coughed and sobbed in pain and agony. I couldn't feel my legs, my body went numb and I hoped, I just hoped I fucking died cause this was torture and how it was each and everyday for 3 fucking years...

I begged to die...I fucking begged and begged to fucking die and I so badly wanted to tell someone but I couldn't...he would hurt me if I did...he'd kill me if I did and I'd get kicked out if I did...I never looked in a mirror or talked ever again...I was worthless, disgusting and I should really just die cause I didn't want to relive this pain any longer...why me...

*End of Flashback*

I woke up screaming which again was normal for most days. I looked around seeing it was early dawn and I was in my room. I blinked a few times and felt the sweat and tears fall from my face. My body was shaking and trembling and my breathing was heavy and uneven.

I covered my face, curled up in a ball and just sobbed...I want this pain to stop...I just want it to stop...please make it stop...I'll do anything...I punched my head with my fists and choked on sobs as I grit my teeth in pain.

I groaned as I grabbed my blade from behind my phone and rolled up my hoodie and shakily plunged the blade into my wrists and arms making the blood pour out. I let out relieved sighs and leaned back against the bed and just let all my emotions flow out like the blood is in my wrists and arms...