Maybe one day? - Spencer Reid x Reader

Chapter 29.

Trigger warning: This chapter is continuing from the previous one, it'll have some upsetting parts and will be from Spencer's POV. 

Spencer's POV;

The rush that you got from helping those around you sometimes was the only thing that would spur me on, knowing I could have a positive outlook for the people we looked for or rescued made this job a lot easier.

The adrenaline was sometimes so powerful that I would look forward to new cases, the more riskier they seemed it would only spur me on to do better, be better but also showcase what I knew to the others. I wasn't stupid though, they knew what I was capable of and even on the days where my mental health got the better of me and I struggled, they never showed that they knew. They acted like I was still their boy genius.

But this job changes you, changes how you think and feel and especially now. Having Y/N as more than a friend only increased all those feelings, the good but also the bad. I turn my mind back to the matter at hand, Gina's out so I turn to Y/N, beckoning her forward.

"Y/N, come on! It's clear!" I shout to her as I unlock the code, the women and men start to clamour out of the door, running onto the field, all I can think of is how later on I'll be able to enjoy her company. I was thinking a chill evening, hot shower together and then watch one of those dramas she loves to invest her time into.

A blast rumbles through the building, even from the side I'm standing on it rocks me, I lose my balance and whip my head towards Y/N. It comes as a shock, I thought we had longer time.

"Reid, run!" Her voice pierces the air as I see her grab the two women next to her and pushes them forward, begging them to go out of the door. She's only a few feet away from me.

I hear some shouting and turn my head to see Y/N whip her head around towards the noise, it's like men shouting or screaming over and over and then the unthinkable happens, a second bomb blasts through the building, it's louder and the impact is bigger this time. I hear her scream before I can register what's happening, her scream shatters a part of my soul.

"Y/L/N, no!" I hear myself screaming for her as I see her body slam against the wall, almost too lifeless and fear runs through my body. "Y/N, come on!" I shout over and over as I run towards her but I feel arms pull my back. Two sets of them. 

"Reid! No you can't, it isn't safe!" Prentiss shouts towards me as she and Hotch pull me back towards the field. Screams erupt as a third bomb wrecks more havoc on the building. I can hear a faint screech from the inside of the building and it's as if I'm the one on fire. I almost stop breathing. The third bomb makes debris fall all around us and the door slams shu

"Emily, we can't leave her! No." I say while getting out of their grip. Isolating the screaming, the noise from my earpiece I can vaguely hear her scream but it breaks my heart.

"Reid, calm down. We aren't going to leave her. First of all you need to get checked out by the paramedics, come on." Hotch looks towards me, his eyes are soft and he places both arms on my shoulders.

"No not yet, not until I know the plan." I shrug his arms away and head to the station which a couple hundred yards away from where I'm standing.

"I'm speaking to her Hotch!" I hear Rossi shout towards us and all of us run over to him, he seems stressed and runs his hands through his hair while smiling at me. "Here Hotch." Hotch takes the mic and steps away a few feet to speak to her.

"Y/N. We'll have a team in as soon as we can. You know how it is. I'm so sorry." Hotch ends his sentence with a hushed tone. We knew how it was, we knew the stakes. We knew that we often lost people to this job. I knew it didn't look good.