Maybe one day? - Spencer Reid x Reader

Chapter 40.

Trigger warning: ED and mental health issues.

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"Yeah it's to go please."

"You feeding an army?" The lady jokes around with you and you have to agree, the order did seem large.

"Just the FBI but yeah kinda an army you could say." You laugh as she hands you your card back with a receipt. "Thank you." You and Spencer both head to the waiting area, your fingers play with the receipt as you wait for the food.

While on your walk you decided to get lunch for everyone, with Spencer asking if you had eaten around 5 times within 5 minutes. He goes to ask again when you're waiting.

"No."

"Y/N. You need to eat. How can you expect to live? Let alone work like this?"

"Reid. Please. I'm doing okay." You sigh before taking a sip of your hot coffee. "This helps. A lot."

"You can't survive on coffee. Can I help?" Spencer's voice is soft, sincere and it hurts you worse than his cold tone from earlier.

"No Spencer please. You can't help. I don't need it, I just need time. This isn't something easy is it, I can't just pretend it's okay or even make it okay in my head."

"I don't want you to fall down this road because of me."

"Reid it isn't just because of us, you, whatever this is. It's everything, the blast. I- I can't talk about it right now but I'm fine. I can't have you help. It isn't the same anymore."

"Not yet."

"No." You check your phone and notice a few texts from Prentiss. You decide to text her and tell her that you were getting lunch, it would hopefully bring a smile to the BAU.

"Here's your order." The lady appears at the waiting bay, she smiles widely while handing over the paper bags of food over the counter top. "If you want to order again ring ahead and we'll make sure its's done quicker." She passes over a business card to you personally.

"Thank you, that's very kind. Have a lovely day."

"You too, hey can I get a name?"

"I'm Y/N and this is Spencer." You say gesturing over to Spencer who gives a wave.

"I'm Joni. You have a lovely day." You wish her the same back before heading out of the shop with sandwiches, salads, wraps and snacks in the bag. It was a big enough order that there would be leftovers for everyone.

"She likes you." Spencer mutters as you walk back to the BAU. He sounds almost upset, he gives a half assed smile when he looks at you.

"She was being nice."

"Of course." He says with a sarcastic edge to his voice. The sky is clear blue, only a few clouds but it's freezing. "You wouldn't think it's almost Christmas would you."

"I haven't give it much thought. I don't really celebrate it." You admit while you walk down the streets, the air is crisp and cold but at the same time it was so welcome. It cleared your mind and your thoughts, allowed you to feel a little more human again.

"Are you seeing your family?"

"No." You admit again, thinking back to all the holiday festivals you didn't celebrate. "You?"

"My mother hopefully. Depends on work."

"In all honesty I forgot it was Christmas. Travelling so much makes you miss things. Time flies by." Spencer doesn't respond to you, you guys keep walking until you get back to the BAU. Everyone greets you happily and you hand out food, drinks and snacks.