All About Him

Chapter 6: Cocky?

I would normally hang out with Adri, Maya, and/or Emily at lunch. We'd usually sit in the cafeteria and eat. I didn't go to the cafeteria that day, I skipped it. I didn't need to eat. Instead, I sat down under the large oak tree at the edge of the quad. I didn't care if people could see me. I just needed some peace and quiet for my thoughts to ripen and turn into something I could work with. Adri, Maya, and Emily didn't let that happen.

"Eli came into third period late today," Maya said quietly like it was supposed to mean something to me. She looked everywhere except in my eyes.

"So?" I asked. I remembered him running towards one of the school buildings, but I thought it was to his next class. Besides, what's the big deal showing up late? I did it every once in a while.

"You don't understand... It was really bad because..." Maya trailed off.

"Because why? Why was it so bad?" I asked, very annoyed. They were bugging me about a guy that I was trying really hard not to care about. He was irritating and my friends were, too. I really needed to get out and find new people to hang out with. "It's not like..."

"He was crying, Libi!" Adri yelled. All of us were dead silent. So I had seen tears in his eyes. My heart sank into my stomach. So much for not caring. My mouth opened slightly as if to speak, but only air went past my lips. Eli, the boy who practically ran the school, had cried all because of me. I shook it off. He didn't need another follower.

"He just can't handle rejection," I said, more aloof.

"Stop being such a jerk!" Emily snappened.

Adri, Maya, and I stared at her in disbelief. Like Maya and unlike Adri, Emily never rose her voice and she never, ever snapped at her friends.

"Sorry, I just..."

"You need to stop appologizing to me and start appologizing to Eli. It may not have seemed like such a big deal to you, but he really likes you. You should have heard what he said when I talked to him for you today at break!" So Emily didn't know I was hiding behind that bush... She continued, "He may be cocky and vain, but he's not a jerk like you!" Emily walked away angrily.

Maya and Adri looked at each other, trying to figure out if they should follow her. They turned to face me at the time, both had blank, expressionless looks plastered on their faces.

Adri spoke calmly for the first time that day. She said, "Appologize to him if you care. If you don't, sit here like the fool you're convincing us you are." Adri hurried after Emily.

Maya stood in front of me, swaying awkwardly from left to right. "He's right over there," she pointed an elegant finger at the bench on the other side of the quad. Maya ran after her two other friends.

I turned around slowly to face where he was sitting. No one was around him... well, close to him. Some girls were standing twenty feet away, staring and whispering. No matter where I would appologize, there would be girls whispering, gossiping, and staring. With a deep breath, I began my journey to the table everyone could see.

"Hi," I was surprised about how small my voice sounded.

Eli looked up and saw it was me. His eyes were red and a little swollen. His eyebrows rose and he wiped his eyes, looking away from me. He sniffled then looked back.

"What do you want?" he asked slightly angry. He looked briefly into my eyes then looked past me at the whispering girls. Eli's eyes almost reached my face, then he dodged meeting my look. I guess it was too much for him.

"I want to..." I took another deep breath. I never appologized. I was a cold, hard mother f... jerk. I suddenly realized that I had changed. I helped Isabella and Mark get together when I would have never done that before a week ago. Eli and his cocky behavior had really changed me. Like my friends had said, just because he's vain, doesn't mean he's a jerk... "I want to appologize."

Eli's eyes finally met mine and held the stare. He barely blinked, "Appologize? For what? For rejecting me? It doesn't matter. Just an appology isn't going to change anything... you still don't like me."

I was silent. "Everyone else likes you. Why should one person matter?" I asked. I had the urge to sit by him and put my arm around his shoulders. I fought against it and clenched my hands into fists. I couldn't show emotion. That would show weakness and I was sure he would call me out on that. Even when he was in this mood, I didn't want to be taunted.

"Have you ever heard the saying about how it's not quantity that matters, but quality?" Eli's eyes looked a lot bluer than I remembered. "It's not all of them that I care about," Eli made a motion to the girls standing nearby. They didn't hear what he said, but they squealed because he was looking at them. "It's you."

I felt that familiar feeling of my heart dropping into my stomach. Hearing him tell Emily was one thing. Actually hearing him say it to my face was something completely different. I must have looked very shocked because his eyes widened and he looked a little confused.

"I thought you knew," Eli said softly and put his head in his hands, covering his eyes. "I was pretty sure I made it obvious. I bothered you constantly, trying to get you to like me. Do I have to spell it out?"

Eli shivered. I don't know if it was from the cold or if he was crying again. I cleared my throat and decided to not let it get to me again.

I cocked my head to the side, "I thought you were just being obnoxious and trying to make yourself feel better by having every girl in school like you."

Shockingly, Eli laughed. It wasn't a laugh that you normally heard. It was more of a nervous I-can't-believe-you-thought-that laugh. "Why would I do that? I don't care if everyone likes me. The people that really matter to me are the only ones I really want to like me."

"I matter to you?" for a moment, I was breathless. Eli was sweet. He had proved that earlier, but it didn't really hit until that small moment.

"Yes, as a matter of fact, you do," Eli whispered.

Silence showered over us as I tried to think of what to say. I couldn't say that I didn't like him because that wasn't exactly true. I couldn't say that I liked him as a friend because it wouldn't make anything better. Thinking deeply about what to do, he just stared up at me. He didn't look impatient, he didn't look like he was expecting an answer at all. He was just looking into my eyes like I was the only thing in the world. Eli was way different than I thought he was. He might have been cocky, but he was a great guy.

"You know, I don't need to hear anything from you," Eli said sadly. "You feel bad and I really don't want that."

"What did you say?"

"I don't need..."

"No, after that," I made a clockwise circle with my finger as if that would help make the effect more significant, showing what it looked like to fast-forward.

"When I said I really don't want you to feel bad?"

"That," I said and smiled. "It was totally unselfish and not at all cocky."

"Oh well.. I really don't feel as great as I usually do without thinking I can convince you into liking me," Eli's voice was getting quiet again. "I only..."

"Eli," I interrupted.

"Yeah?"

"Stop talking," I leaned in and kissed him.