Half a Heart [H.S.]

Simon Says

January 31, 2014
Los Angeles, California

Today was the day the Midnight Memories music video came out and it just reminded me more of the fact that the most important person wasn't here to see the video with us, to see the work she put in as well for this song and album.

A lot happened the last four days. Well not a lot, but it felt like a lot. My body was spent just by doing absolutely nothing and my brain felt like it melted over and over again.

I was sprawled on my bed with Honey laying lazily beside me. Her paw was pressed on my chest, the other folded against my side. I had brought her over to LA since I was gonna be here for a bit and Em was still trying to get papers so the Labrador could go on tour with her. She'd been making herself at home here, having her own room in the spare that used to belong to Emiliana before we moved her stuff over to mine.

We spoil this dog more than we can believe but she loves it and I'll be damned if I don't continue on doing so. She's a small piece I physically have of my angel so I don't mind the company at all. She's a pretty good guard dog anyways. The boys love her and I'm pretty sure Niall sneaks in extra treats every once in a while when I'm not paying attention. He's lucky Honey runs around all day because or else she'd be rolling with all the food she's given.

I was too tired to get up for the day, I knew we had a party for the video release even though it's not that big of a deal, management is still having us do it for the hell of it.

I hate that. Us having to do everything they say even if we don't want to. It doesn't matter whether we're dying of some sickness, we'll have to attend some stupid party for the publicity.

Liam is the only one somewhat putting up with management, taking the calls with no complaints, not to them at least. We all know this isn't how we expected the band to turn into but it has and we're just trying to make the best of it.

Don't get me wrong, I love what we do, we all love it, but it gets to the point where I hate everything expect the performing and making music aspect of it all.

I'm almost sure the girls know how we feel because they always check in. At least Emiliana does, calling to make sure I'm alright and whenever I tell her about some plans we have she always makes a point to mention whether it's our doing or managements. She knows us too well.

"C'mon mate, Paul is gonna be here in a bit to pick us up" Liam opens the door to my bedroom, grabbing Honey's attention. I glare at him because I knew she was gonna get excited thinking she was leaving with us or we were gonna give her treats.

"Mmm" I groan, shuffling over to bed to lay on my stomach now. My arm wraps over Honey's stomach as she waits for some type of attention, more specifically a belly rub.

"Get up Harry, we seriously can't afford getting in trouble" Liam sighs in both frustration at me and the situation. I know he hated being the responsible one in this case but he's the only one who wouldn't lash out the second he hears the words 'You guys have to'.

It was all a huge pros and cons list when coming into this band. We never even thought of thinking about it, too caught up in the fact that we were given this chance to become more. And more we did.

Just lost a few things on the way.

I'll never regret or complain about my privilege and the opportunity because I don't believe anything can get better than this. I just wish for a but more freedom with things.

Reluctantly climbing out of bed, I take put a simple black button up and my black jeans before turning on the shower to freshen myself up.

The water was soothing when it poured down my body like on a rainy day. You think everyone says showers heal anything just because, but they really do. You kinda forget what you were worrying about before and focus on the feeling of all your worries just washing out of you.