Miracles

ALONE AGAIN

ZAREENA

Why did she thought that anyone would accept her?

Why did she thought that James would accept her when she didn't even accept her herself?

Why did she thought that she deserved acceptance?

After what she had done, why did she thought that she could feel love again?

After what she had done, why did she thought that she deserved to live this long?

She should have died with Arden. Why did she survive? Why didn't she die? She was a mess. She was cruel and everyone hated her. Nobody wanted her so why didn't she die that day instead of Arden? Everyone like Arden. And she killed him. James was like that too. He was just like Arden and she ruined his life as well. Why did she had to ruin everything? Why did she had to destroy everything?

She was looking at James' lake. The water was so black and cold. And it was new year's eve.

She lived a year. A year that shouldn't be hers.

She was a mistake. She wasn't meant to live. She ruined the lives of everyone she knew.

This time she was sure she was going to die.

The pond looked deep enough. And the water looked exactly the same. The beauty it had before was gone. Disappeared. Like it prepared itself to take a human soul.

'If mine could be taken as a human soul' She thought as she stepped into the water.

It should have been a few degrees above freezing considering the small patches of ice near the edge of the pond but she felt nothing.

Memories came flooding in and for a moment she was confused of what was happening because it had been a very long time since she had a shock. Of course the universe would remind her of all the wrong she had done before she died. No point of trying to think something good. She would end-up on he'll anyway. But for the first time it was James she saw. Not Arden. It was the time they spent together. Reminding her of the life she almost ruined. Yes, she should die.

She woke-up from her shock. She was sprawled in the ground covered in mud. And Julie came into her mind. How she was always there to help her, not letting her fall. She was always there. But that wasn't enough to stop her from attempting suicide. In fact it made her want to die more. She ruined her life too. Her aunt deserved more. She didn't deserve to baby sit a mental teen who depend pills to be normal.

She walked down into the lake until the water was just below her chin.

'This was it.' She thought. 'I am coming back to you Arden.'

And she went down.

She thought she heard James calling her name just before her head went under but she knew that her mind was playing tricks on her.

She was ready to die. She was ready for a long time. But it was James who made a want to stay a little while longer. But now he was gone. And there was no reason for her to stay any longer as well. And then she breathed though both her mouth and nose inviting the cold water inside to her system. She chocked, feeling the familiar pain in her chest.

And the moment she thought that she was done, for the first time in a year, she felt warm.

~~(A/N)~~

This is my first author's note. It feels wired to write an A/N when you have like only 17 reads. *laughs but cries inside* But it's fine. It's like only a month since I had been in Wattpad. And I am sorry about the very, very, very short chapter. And can I call you guys lollies? I really love lollies. specially the strawberry flavored one. And the orange flavored one, and the grape flavored one, and the....you get the point. And what do you think bout the cover? ookie.... I am gonna stop here.

lots of loves for my lollies!!

from your Bunny!