Their chests heaved still as they came down from their high. Gwen laid her head back on her shoulders and stared at the ceiling with half-lidded eyes, her body still trembling and constricting around him. Jesus christ what did we just do? She looked down at him and tried to hide that feeling of regret that was spiraling around deep inside her.
"Giles... did we fuck up?"
He fixed his glasses and looked up at her. "Pardon?"
"You just... you said that I should start treating Nik like he's my future but then we... go and do this." She gestured to their bodies.
"We'll make it our last. Besides, he was doing this to his wife for years." He pulled her close and laid his head back. "I doubt he'll be worried."
She sighed and rested heavily against his chest, her chin nuzzled into his shoulder. "He's going to be furious."
He grew quiet. "I know. But hey, it's not like you're staying with me because of the sex."
Gwen snorted quietly, shaking her head. "Definitely not the sex. I hope Jonathan is getting a better end to this deal."
He laughed and gently slapped her bare back. "Rude."
She kissed his cheek, then carefully crawled off of him, then started gathering her clothes. "I should shower." She swiped her phone off the coffee table, then pranced to the master bathroom. She tried to scrub herself clean of the day, she wanted to wash away the guilt and the frustration, the uncertainty and worries that plagued her.
I want a new start with Nikolaj. I want whatever he wants. No more of this bullshit with Giles, I love him but I love Nik more, that idiot. Giles can have the shopping trips and tea time, maybe dinner - but never this again - Nikolaj is my future and I need to treat him like it. He's not a flash in the pan, spur of the moment fun. You've been dancing around each other for years, denying your feelings since day one. He loves you. You love him too. You're building something new and it should be cared for as such. This is a big step, there's no safety net next time.
I want him to be happy. I want to be happy with him.
I want to start new with him.
I want him to be a forever thing.
Genuine and true love is so rare that when you encounter it in any form, it's a wonderful thing, to be utterly cherished in whatever form it takes.
When Gwen snapped from her thoughts, she was sitting on the cold tile floor, a soapy loofah held tightly against her chest. She took a deep, calming breath, then stood and finished her shower with no more intrusive thoughts. Wrapped in her favorite robe, she grabbed her phone off the counter.
Missed call from Idiot *heart* (3)
Texts from Idiot *heart* (5)
Gwen ran a string of curses out of her mouth before calling him back. Come on, pick up.
As soon he answered, she started speaking. "Nik, god, is everything okay? I'm sorry, I got caught up in putting things away, I just got out of the shower and saw that you called. I didn't even check your texts yet."
"I'm fine, everything's fine. I'm back home now. I had just sent you some house listings in Denmark. I know we discussed the U.S. or London, but... I do want somewhere close to my girls. Maybe they can stay there when we're not using it."
"Of course, of course." She put her phone on speaker and placed it down on the counter. "Maybe we can do some investing. A small place in Denmark. A small place in London. And you're keeping your home in LA. That will cover the three main places we'll be staying."
"I'll keep looking and sending you listings."
"I'll do the same." She smiled softly. "I'm glad you're safe. Enjoy your time with your girls."
"They're out with their friends for the night. So just me." She could hear the faint rustling of clothes or blankets, maybe both. A moment of pause. "What are you doing right now?"
Gwen chuckled softly, rubbing a light cream into her cheeks. "I'm doing my skincare routine. Very important."
"I thought it would be something far more sexy."
"Afraid not, I'm quite jetlagged." She tried to ignore the small lump forming at the back of her throat. She hated lying to him. It's not a lie, you're tired. You'll tell him soon. Maybe. Eventually.
He yawned and she could practically envision his cute little stretch. God, you're a soft idiot for him. "I am too. I've got a long day tomorrow."
Her lips curled into a devilish smirk as she got an idea. She quietly undid her robe and let it fall open. "I'll let you sleep then, darling." She snatched her phone off the counter and swiped it open to her camera. "I'll talk to you tomorrow?"
She didn't focus much on what Nik had said next, she was far too busy positioning the robe off her shoulders, just barely hanging on. She then snapped a couple photos while humming in agreement, trying different poses in the bright, nearly flattering lighting. Examining the photos, they left nothing to the imagination. Perfect.
Nik's voice cut through. "Hey, I love you." He sounded soft, genuine, like he'd been waiting to say it all day.
She smiled. "I love you too." She couldn't help but bite her lip to hide that knowing smirk as she hit send.
"You better get some beauty sleep before you start rehearsals, you won't be getting anymore." He started to chuckle, but it was quickly silenced. "You little minx..."
"Goodnight, Nik." She gave a kissy noise before hanging up. That'll keep him busy, she thought.
She didn't overtly avoid Giles after their coupling, but she did make herself scarce, mostly out of shame. She quickly grabbed clothes from their old room, her carry-on from the plane, and made herself comfortable in the guest room - despite the fact that Giles said she could have the master to herself.
She glanced over her script for A Midsummer Night's Dream, something she'd already been looking at since nearly March after being cast. They hadn't required her to start memorizing her lines yet, though of course Gwen thought she'd get a good head start, as she often times did. Rehearsals would be a slow start to a very, very long process. It meant long hours learning her lines while away from home. She had things to do, people to meet, places to be, and Game of Thrones episodes to be disappointed in. These months ahead of her were going to be long and tiring. But she was ready with a new beginning, may it give her the strength she needs.
