Gwendoline had finally agreed that she needed time away; away from home, away from the theater, even away from Giles. Though she was hesitant, she had been unusually quiet in the days leading up to their trip. In turn, Nikolaj had been quiet as well. Their conversations were short, hollow, an unfortunate routine they'd fallen into.
They still sat together at dinner. He still ran her baths to soothe her aching muscles, she welcomed him to join her each time. They still slept in the same bed, cradling one another until sleep took them. It was just... quiet.
Gwen would often have excuses to leave the house. Extra preparations for the play, last minute alterations on her dress again, meeting the cast for brunch, helping Giles with something - whatever the hell that meant. Nik hated it... He hated every moment she was away. He hated feeling so needy for her time and company. He hated that she was lying to spend time away from him.
If she didn't want you here, she'd ask you to leave. She's blunt, she wouldn't dance around it.
The couple agreed on New York, just for a couple days. They, mostly she , needed to de-stress and calm down before she embarked on this lengthy commitment. The sounds of the city beneath the penthouse hotel room comforted Gwen, she lived for the hustle and bustle of the streets.
But she was still left unnerved, even with the comfort of a familiar place.
The silence was heavy. It was awkward and tense - something they've never really battled with before. It was unsettling. Gwen looked up from her food while Nik kept his eyes on his plate, opening their mouths and speaking at the same time.
"Gwen?" "Nik?"
Gwen blinked in surprise, then quickly shook her head. Yours can wait. "You first."
Nikolaj swallowed hard and pushed his food around on his plate. "I don't..." He started, then shook his head. He tried again after a beat. "I'd never make an assumption like this if I didn't know you so well. All these years of being so open and honest with each other and now you've gone quiet, sneaking around like I won't notice. "
Her eye twitched. "Pardon?"
"It's insulting that you think I'm this blind or this stupid."
She leaned forward, watching his face curiously. "What?"
"Who is he?"
Oh my god, he thinks you're cheating. As if he could be any more wrong. "What the hell are you talking about?"
"You've been sneaking around, lying about where you're going. You've never been good at lying to me, you know that." He leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms across his chest. He was clearly more upset than he was angry, always a jealous man. "Are we moving too fast? Is this too much for you? Because we can go back to living separately, I can go home to Denmark, and we can keep acting like this is some kind of fucked up-"
"Nikolaj!" She slammed her hands on the wooden table, her chair skidding backwards as she stood. "Look at me."
He finally locked eyes with her for the first time in hours. "Who?"
She scoffed, spitting out her next words with malice. "Maybe I'll have you guess. It's someone we both know. He's tall and he's very handsome."
Nik recoiled, having been waiting for her to dismiss his suspicions. He set his jaw firmly, his mouth pressed into a straight line before his bottom lip could even have the chance to quiver.
Gwen saw him starting to form his next sentence in his head, so she continued. "He used to be blonde, but now it's dark and he's going grey." She tapped her nails against the table. "Well built for his age." He wasn't getting it. "Kind of a fucked up nose but I find it endearing."
Nik stood, tossing his napkin on the table. "How long?"
"Handful of years." She straightened out her shoulders and stared at him levelly.
His brows raised before furrowing. "How lovely for you. " He sighed and walked past her, heading towards the bedroom. "You and my ex-wife both."
"Nikolaj, god, you're so dense." She took long strides after him, catching his hand in hers. "I'm not seeing anyone else. I described you, you idiot!" She pulled him to a stop.
He faced her, a single tear painted his cheek.
"Nik," she sighed, taking his face in her hands. "I'm so sorry. This isn't how I wanted this to go." She pressed her lips to his, attempting to take away all the hurt and insecurity. She knew she couldn't, deep down, but she could always try.
Nik rested his forehead against hers. "I really am the stupidest Lannister."
She huffed out a laugh. "You're my stupid Lannister." A beat passed. "Nik, I..."
"I know you're sorry... I'm sorry too. I knew that you wouldn't, or, I at least hoped you wouldn't. But this is a lot, I understand if it's too much. If it's too fast. If you need time away." He stroked her cheek with the backs of his fingers. "I will give you anything you want, you just have to tell me."
"Is it too much for you?"
"No. This is everything I want. But it's all about compromise, I know that." He nodded slowly.
She sniffled quietly and nodded along with him.
"Gwen... are you okay?"
"I'm fine." She dismissed him.
"You've been quiet... distant. Gwen, you need to tell me what's going on so I can help." Another tear slipped down his rosy cheeks.
"I, I don't know, Nik..." She trailed off. "I just need time to myself..."
He visibly deflated, his eyes dropping to the floor. He nodded and slipped from her grasp. "You could have said so before we came here. I could have left you alone."
He turned and continued on to their bedroom, leaving Gwen standing alone.
She couldn't take it. The emotions of the past several weeks catching up to her, crashing over her like a wave. Her head swimming with thoughts all the damn time; the what if's, the doubt, the fear, the uncertainty, the crushing weight of knowing everything could go wrong. Drowning. All this time she'd been drowning.
All this she needed something to hang on to.
She needed Nik.
Spit it out and tell him instead of running away. He can't help if you push him away. Make it real and stop fighting.
Nik paused at the door as he heard it, quiet as it was, a cry. Then another, louder this time, tearing rawly from Gwen's lungs. She had broken, kneeling on the carpeted floor, her arms wrapped tightly around herself. Her eyes were screwed shut as hideous, loud sobs wracked through her body.
He found himself kneeling beside her, bringing a tentative hand to rest upon her shoulder. "Gwen..."
Stop fighting, she screamed at herself. Fucking say it!
Finally, she breached the surface and gasped for air.
"I-I'm pregnant."
