Pebbles: A Collection of Short Stories

Have You Ever Been Haunted?

Ever been haunted? Even worse, my instance of possible haunted was by a local weatherman. I was in a holiday-induced lousy mood. The perfect storm of cold weather, peppermint-flavored everything, and people acting too jolly fueled me to handle the situation directly.

I turned quickly to ensure I could catch him in the act and demanded, "why are you following me?"

He was taken aback. "Oh, right. Don't worry; I'm not a stalker or anything."

"That's how a stalker would introduce themself."

"Seriously, I'm not a stalker; I'm your ghost of Christmas past."

"What? Are you kidding me? The channel five weatherman is my ghost of Christmas past and haunting me at 2 pm on a Tuesday in a coffee shop line?"

"Look, it's the holiday season; the ghost bench is pretty thin and we are booked tight. Now, if you wanted to be haunted around Arbor Day, you may get the A-team, but I'm what you've got now."

"Are you implying I requested a haunting?"

"You did."

"No, sir; I did not."

"The ghost of Christmas past is called when a person hits the trifecta of holiday humbug: unhappiness, despondency, and christmaslessness."

"Christmaslessness isn't a word."

"This is why your haunting is by an off-channel weatherman."

"OK fine, so are you going to take me on a tour of my old memories to remind me of the true meaning of Christmas."

"Kind of." He turned his phone around to show my old Facebook feed.

"Yeah, no one uses Facebook anymore."

"Hello, I'm the ghost of Christmas PAST. Look at your feed; what do you see?"

"A bad hair cut and a desperate need to wear less purple."

"You're the worst hauntee ever."

"You're haunting me with a defunct social media page. Is my ghost of Christmas present going to be a Kardashian haunting me on Zoom?"

"Forget it; this isn't worth the paycheck."

And with that, he turned on his heel and left. I've never been haunted again.