The Secrets We Keep [Spencer Reid x Reader 18+] || ✔️

Happiness Doesn't Live Here...

It was hard without him. Very hard. But nevertheless, you persisted. You had too. Spencer was gone, and you needed to find him. But at the same time, your world was in shambles and all you wanted was to let the pain swallow you whole. But that wasn't an option at this moment.

"Y/N?" Luke snapped his fingers in front of your face, snapping you back to reality.

"Sorry. I- uh- zoned out." You looked at the file in your lap. Spencer was now a missing persons case and the bureau was kind enough to let this be an exclusive BAU case. And kind enough to let you stay on it.

Evidence had been collected and bagged, but Spencers apartment was still a mess. That's where you and Luke were going. Combing over ever little millimeter of the space. Spencer was so private, it made you cringe to dig into his life. Dig into the life you shared with him. The conversation about what you and he did outside the bureau was awkward but necessary. They saw the pictures. They knew.

Luke parked the SUV. You climbed out, pulling your jacket tighter around your body, as if it could protect you from what you were about to relive. You spotted the Audi, happy memories flooding your brain. You looked away; happiness didn't exist without him. You fell in stride with Luke, walking up the steps to his apartment. The bodies of the officers were gone, but the stains of crimson weren't. You shuddered as you lifted the crime scene tape and entered his apartment. It smelt like him. It hurt.

You pulled on gloves, sighing as you did so.

"Hey. If you need a break let me know? We're going to take this as slow or as fast as you want. Okay?" Luke had a sad smile. You appreciated how supportive everyone had been. The addition of Morgan had been comforting. He was here until we got Spence back. Telling Savannah his brother was gone and to kiss Hank Spencer for him.

"Thanks Luke." Was really all you could say.

"Let's go over what happened and retrace their steps." Luke stood at the front of the door, waiting for you to speak.

You took a deep breath, "so we had just climbed into bed after," you cleared you throat, continuing, "and that's when we hear what sounded like gunshots. Spencer stiffened and listened. Then it sounded like someone was kicking in the door. Spencer got up and made me get into the closet." Luke walked from the door over to the couch.

"I locked the closet door. Spencer had his gun. I stuck my ear to the wall and listened. It sounded like glass breaking." You moved your arm, motioning to the glass all over the floor. "It sounded like they were looking for something, but I couldn't understand them. They were speaking a different language. It sounded Russian, but I also don't know." You felt defeated.

"That's okay, y/n. You're doing great. Keep going if you can." Luke continued walking, down the hall and stopped at Spencers door.

"I had dialed 911 and it got quiet. Like too quiet. And then I heard Spencer say 'stop it. Just take whatever you want and leave me.' And then there was nothing. I was just grateful he was alive. Then you guys were here. And that's it."

Luke nodded, opening the door to Spencer's room. You walked behind him. You looked around. It made you sad to see it such a mess. The night this all happened, you didn't take it all in, but now you had no choice. The ropes still hung on the bed. You cringed.

"Did we get DNA on the knife?" You asked bending at the knees to grab the knocked over cup from the floor. The ice that was previously in it, melted, and the water that spilt was dry. You turned it over in your hands remembering what it held prior to being turned over.

"Unidentified male. It wasn't Spencers. His prints were on it. Yours too. But it wasn't his blood."

'...second of all, I am very capable of murder. But I wouldn't murder.' You giggled at the memory that Spencer fuckin Reid is capable of murder.

"He had his gun. I don't understand why he used the knife?" You questioned.

"They could've gotten it away from him? There are hundreds of possibilities as to why he didn't shoot." Luke replied.

You ran your gloved hands over the silk, still hanging from their places on the bed.

"I know that this wasn't something I was ever planning on showing anyone, but I am just appreciative that you guys didn't judge us." You looked over at Luke. He smiled, a small laugh coming from him.

"Look we all have our secrets. We all have our kinks. Judging would be hypocritical."

You turned, scanning the rest of the room. Something was shining form the corner of the closet door.

"Luke." You said walking towards it. You pushed the door and bent down. You gasped, picking up the silver from the floor.

"His watch. They didn't take his watch. Spencer never takes this off unless he showers, and we didn't shower after. He had it on when he stuck me in the closet. I saw it."

Luke looked at you confused. It was a fucking Rolex. It was worth so much money. "So clearly they weren't after money. So what were they after?"

You didn't know. You checked the drawers; all your jewelry was still there. "Clearly they aren't after money. All of these are real pearls and diamonds. I'm allergic to fake shit."

What the fuck were they after? 

... 

A/N: WELCOME BACK EVERYONE! 

I hope we enjoyed Chapter 1! Let me know your thoughts and what you think is to come! I handed out my thoughts to a few friends, so if you're one of them DONT SPOIL It 💋

We've officially hit 16k reads on "You" and I am just incredibly shook. Like not once did I think something I wrote while in a weird place could make me as happy as it did. I love you guys so so so much!! 

ENJOY BABIES