The Secrets We Keep [Spencer Reid x Reader 18+] || ✔️

The Lies You Told

TW: lots of expletives. Like more than normal and lots and lots and lots of angst

You pulled back so quick it made your head spin. You pushed him back and backed yourself into a wall as if you were suddenly afraid of him.

Spencer tilted his head. Looking at you as if you lost your fucking mind. Hurt flashed in his eyes as he tried to come closer.

"No. Stay right there. D-don't c-come any cl-oser to m-me." Your voice shook with anger and sadness. This wasn't what you wanted but the feelings wouldn't stop coming. It was like the five staged of grief hitting you all at once, but this time, he was right in front of you.

"You fucking lied to me. To us. You, you, you lied." Spencer winced at your words, once again trying to get closer to you. "NO. Stop it. You fucking lied. YOU LIED!" You stood, momentarily towering over him as you pointed a finger in his face.

"This dynamic we had was about trust. That's what you told me. You said we had to be open and fucking honest with each other." Your voice grew louder as you stalked over towards Spencer, who was slowly moving backwards on his hands. "You made me trust you. WE trusted you with our mother fucking lives, Reid. I willfully handed my body over to you while you pushed me to my limits because you told me to trust you. I loved you." He winced once more at your use of past tense, finally getting to his feet.

"I laid in bed next to you every fucking night while you held me and told me you loved me. You don't love me. Tell me the fucking truth right now, Spencer. What is with the millions in offshore accounts? Whats with the fucking diamonds, emeralds, and fucking jewelry you had hidden in the gun safe?" He turned white and looked like he was about to pass out.

He didn't say anything, instead just looking down at you, not breaking eye contact. It was a pissing contest to see who would break first. But you knew it wouldn't be you. You stepped closer, inches from his pathetic face.

"Tell me the fucking truth!" You screamed at him, pushing him back. Luke ran over to you and grabbed your wrist, restraining you from hurting Spencer. You tugged your arms away trying to get free, but no luck.

"You fucking little pussy."

"You need to sit down." Luke said. It suddenly made you very aware of the fact that your entire team was now starring at you with wide eyes. You were a badass, but quiet when not with unsubs. Seeing you freak out like this was a shock.

"Don't tell me what to do, Alvez." You muttered, pulling once more to free yourself.

"Fluff, sit. We have some things to talk about." Spencer motioned to the seat next to him. Luke was ready to guide you over but Spencer stopped him, "I think she can walk Luke. I deserve whatever is about to come my way. Can you guys give us a second?" He dismissed the team who seemed grateful to be out of the shit storm that was about to happen.

You plopped down in the chair across from him hands folded across your chest. You bounced your foot, waiting for his explanation.

"Well. I'm just dying to hear all about this fuckery." You scoffed, eyes not meeting his.

"Look at me." His tone as it is when he's dominating you. But it wasn't going to work. Not this time.

"No." You keep your eyes on the floor.

"Y/N. Look. At. ME."

"No Spencer. You don't get to talk to me like that anymore." You tried keeping your voice steady but you felt like you were suffocating slowly. Like the emotions would swallow you whole. You wished they would.

"What are you breaking up with me?" His cracking voice made you peer up through your lashes. His eyes were on the floor, but fuck, was he just as beautiful. You took a second to actually look at him. His face was black and blue, worse than he looked on the stream. His hair wild from the abuse. His shirt ripped and his arms littered with bruises. Your chest squeezed impossibly tighter.

"You lied to me, Spencer. You lied to this team. And look what happened. How am I supposed to trust you after this?" He locked his eyes with yours. Hurt filling them up.

"I did it for you." He muttered lowly.

You let out a laugh. "Me? How the fuck did keeping secrets protect me? I'm just dying to fucking hear the explanation for this one."

Spencer ran his hands through his hair, pulling at the roots in frustration. "I got caught up in some shit prior to prison. Mafia shit. I tried to help out a friend by keeping him out of jail and I accidently got involved with Richie Frisco. I tried to get out before I went away, but the mafia doesn't work like that. They helped get me out of jail, the team knew a small extent of that."

"So how does you taking the fall for a friend, involve me."

He sighed, "because when we got together, I told Richie I wanted out. He said he needed me. I told him about you. How you were good. How I wanted to be good for you. I moved my money to offshore accounts before he could take it and I tried to leave. But he did his research and found your mother, then you. He put the pieces together. Then he got a dna sample."

You shuddered. "When we were out, they broke in and got DNA from your toothbrush. He found out he was your father. When I met up with him again in August, he told me to leave you alone. But he wouldn't tell me why. He said if I wanted out, I was to leave you. But I couldn't. I couldn't give you up, y/n. And so he stalked us. Well, one of his accomplices did. And then when word got back I was still with you, Richie snapped. Then I stopped answering his calls and I stopped doing what he asked." He shook his head.

"So he told me if I didn't finish my last two jobs, he would kill you. And so I did. But apparently I left evidence that caused one of his men to go away. It almost came back on him. Almost. And so he took me." He reached out to grab your hand but you didn't let him.

"I still don't see how you did any of this for me."

"I knew you were my end game, and the money was good. I knew if I held out a little longer, we'd live comfortably forever. Our kids would have everything they need for generations."

You both sat in silence, his words hanging heavy in the air. But you still couldn't get over the fact that he didn't trust you enough to tell you.

"Why didn't you let me in on any of this. Do you not trust me?" Your voice was small.

"What? Baby-" You stopped him.

"don't call me that. You didn't earn the right to call me that."

He sighed, tears falling down his face, 'please don't do this. I trust you with my entire life. Don't do this, Fluff. Please."

You stood from the chair and took a deep a breath. "No. You lied to me. I think we need a break. Some time apart. I need time."

Spencer sobbed and grabbed your wrist as you turned to leave. You turned back to look at him, careful to stick to your guns.

"Baby. Please. Please don't do this. I was trying to protect you. I was going to get out. I was going to tell you. I- I didn't mean for any of this to happen. Angel, please." He begged.

You closed your eyes, almost giving in to him. Almost.

"I'll see you around Spencer." And with that you walked away from the love of your life. Your soulmate. You pushed past the team as they all called and begged you to stay. Begged you to forgive him. But you couldn't. At least not for now. Not yet.

...

A/N

*hides under my covers so you guys don't kill me* 

I LOVE YOU GUYS ❤️