The secret of the rose

Part 4 Chapter 23

                                                                    4 months

My belly is growing day by day and my morning sickness has decreased. Despite the obvious changes in my body, I do not realize it yet, until the day I feel something move in me. At first it was only a light flutter, then focusing on the feeling, I finally sensed something. It is a revelation. I carry within me a little human being born from my love for Steven. A little boy who would have the beautiful blue eyes of his father or a little girl who would have his soft and tender character. At this moment, I know that I must try everything so that the love of my life, the father of my child, comes out of his coma.

My university session finally over, I devote all my time to Steven's bedside. Every day, I read sports news or articles on new developments about cars. Sometimes I read him some story books or describe the beautiful gardens we want to visit. I also read him books on motherhood, so I also do my education. Everything seems easy in these books, but I know it will be a test if I must live this experience alone.

No apparent change occurs, Steven remains catatonic. After a while, I start to get discouraged. My belly takes on exaggerated proportions. I imagine myself raising this child and it terrifies me. I need Steven, for me, but also for our child who will soon be born. He is going to need a father who will protect him and love him as much as he loves his mother.

One evening, when the day was particularly exhausting with the baby's agitation in my belly, I no longer had the strength to fight. I start to sob, head lying on Steven's chest. Emotions take over and I start pouring everything on my heart hoping he can hear me in his sleep. Where he is, he absolutely must hear me.

- Steven, my love. I am begging you, hear me. I can't go on like this. I need you; your baby needs you. Wake up my love, I said desperately, trying to contain my sobs which are a cry from the heart.

- I don't even know if it is a boy or a girl. I didn't have the guts to learn it without you. I want us to be together to find him a name. This child needs you; he will need his father and me too.

I am inconsolable, I cry like a baby. I take his hand between mine and lean it on my tear-wet cheek. They run down his fingers and fall on the pristine white hospital sheets. I get up and kiss him. On the spur of the moment, I get into bed with him and lie down next to him. My huge belly takes up all the space. Between a few sobs, I continue my pleas.

- As to what happened to my parents, I thought about it a lot, it was an accident. You did not premeditate it, it's not your fault. I forgive you. I beg you, forgive me too. You hear me, I forgive you, I say in a heartbreaking tone when I start crying all over again.

I stay a long time crying, whispering through my tears. I keep telling him that I forgive him hoping it will make a difference. Then without warning, I feel a light caress touch the top of my hand. It is barely noticeable, but this slight movement is gently intensifying. Under the effect of surprise, I raise my head to Steven's face, and I see a slight movement under his eyelids. Amazed, I stop crying and start talking to him softly to make him open his eyes. He heard me; I am sure. It is a miracle; it is my miracle.

- Steven, my love, I am here. Open your eyes or shake my hand if you can hear me. Come on, my love, come back to me. I have been waiting too long, waiting for you. I love you.

I get out of bed and slide my fingers under his hand. At the very beginning, a slight pressure is felt, then another more intense, until he squeezes my hand more tightly. He heard me; I am sure now. Keeping my hand in his, I lean toward his ear.

- My love, you are going to be a dad.

Instinctively, I put his hand on my rounded belly. An intense kick from the baby strike against his father's hand. I laugh with joy but stop dead when I think I can hear a familiar, barely audible voice.

- Say it again my love, I did not quite hear, I said tenderly, stroking his hair.

- How is my daughter? he replied in a voice cold from lack of practice. Slowly, he opens his eyes.

- My God ! You heard me. You came back to me. I throw myself on him to cover him with kisses. My love, I love you, I missed you so much.

- Yes, I heard you, I heard everything. I love you too my Rose, said Steven, clearing his throat. Humm. I need to drink some water.

I let go of Steven's hand and rush down the hall to return with the doctor on call and a nurse. Steven's mother, who had gone to get something to eat, ran after them. She is scared, wondering what is going on. But when she enters the room and sees Steven with his eyes open, she utters a cry of joy. She puts down her tray loaded with food and walks towards me, taking me in her arms.

- Hello Steven, we have been waiting for you for a long time. How do you feel ? asked the doctor while verifying his vital signs.

- I am going to be a dad.

- Yes indeed. He too has been waiting for you for a very long time. You have a very courageous woman near you. She has been at your bedside every day.

- I know. I heard her read to me.

The doctor finishes examining Steven. Everything seems perfect. He then gives the recommendations and leaves us alone to reconnect with him. Christine and I each take one side of the bed so that we can hold his hand.

- Hello grandma, said Steven to his mother.

Christine starts to cry with joy while kissing her son. Steven embraces his mother with one arm since the other is still attached to the IV. The moment is touching. I feel a little too much. I release my fingers from Steven's hand to give them some privacy. However, he intensified his pressure to keep me close to him. His eyes speak volumes, he does not want me to leave him. I stay close to him glad that he stopped me.

- Mom, stop crying. I'm fine now. I heard you too. Thank you for being there for Jenny. I blame myself for leaving you alone all this time. I am sorry.

- It's nothing, darling. You just needed a little more time.

- I love you mom, grandma, he said with his mischievous smile.

We all laugh. Our laughter is suspended when Steven begins to cough and holds his ribs following the lack of movement that his body has suffered in recent months.

- I love you my son. Okay, I will give you some privacy. I think you two have a lot to say to each other.

Christine leaves the room, leaving us alone. Steven moves on the bed with difficulty. He reaches out to me and gestures for me to climb up next to him. I climb into the bed, trying not to tear the IV on his hand. He hugs me and kisses me on the forehead. I lean my head against his chest and start to cry like a waterfall.

- Hush, hush my dear. Don't cry. Everything will be fine now, he said, stroking my hair.

- I missed you so much. I thought I lost you forever, I said through my sobs.

- I'm back now and I will never leave you again. I love you Jenny. Thank you for staying with me despite everything I have done.

- Don't talk about this anymore. It was an accident; it was not your fault. I love you Steven.

- Alright. But thank you for forgiving me. You don't know what it means to me. I love you so much.

He lifts my chin and kisses me fiercely. That is wonderful. I missed his kiss so much. I cannot believe he is back with me. A tear of joy runs down my cheek, Steven grabs it between his lips before it falls on the sheets. He cradles me gently, stroking my hand. I missed these sweet caresses a lot. It is so good to be in his arms. We stay together, glued to each other, for a few moments. Steven's hand leaves mine to land on my belly. My baby kicks under his hand. A denied smile appears on his face.

- Oh ! Things are moving in there. Tell me everything. It's a boy or a girl ?

- I don't know yet. I didn't want to know without you. I couldn't.

- Don't worry anymore. I'm back for the next steps.