put a little love on me -niall horan-

chapter xvi

-Jasmine's POV-

I couldn't stop myself from crying as I scrolled through the comments on my most recent Instagram post. I knew some people would be mean, but this was way more than I expected.

Everyone was calling me a whore and telling me to die. What did I do to deserve this?

As I was debating on deleting the selfie with Niall, I got a FaceTime call from him. I quickly wiped away my tears, but I knew my mascara was running. Fuck it. I answered the call, and saw how truly messed up I looked.

Niall was smiling but his smile immediately fell when he saw me. "Jas, what's wrong?"

I sniffled, wiping at the new tears that were rolling down my cheeks. "Everyone's so mean to me..."

Niall sighed,"Angel, please don't let them hurt you. Look, I'm coming over right now, okay?"

I nodded, trying to blink back tears. "Okay."

Niall gave me a small smile. "I love you. See you in a few,"he said before hanging up.

I quickly took off my ruined makeup and tried to make myself look fine, but the second I opened the front door for Niall I burst out crying.

He had a box of food in his hands, with a sad smile on his face.

"Oh, love,"he mumbled, putting the food down on the living room table and walking over to give me a hug.

I hugged him back, trying to control my crying. "It hurts, Niall,"I whispered, my head on his shoulder.

He stroked my hair and gently said,"I know. But please don't let it get you down." He pulled away and looked down at me, wiping away my tears with his thumbs. "Don't listen to what they're saying. Hey, look at me. I love you. You know that, right?"

I nodded, sniffling.

"Okay, good. Then nothing else matters. Not even the fact that you won't say it back."

"Niall.. You know how-"

He quickly interrupted,"I'm just kidding."

I wiped away the remainder of my tears on my sweater sleeve. "I look so ugly. I don't have any makeup on,"I mumbled.

Niall looked into my eyes. "You look absolutely beautiful. Always. Now come, let's eat."

He took my hand and walked me over to the couch, where we sat next to each other.

"Look, I got you French toast. That'll make you happy, right?"he grinned, opening up the container to reveal my favourite food.

I smiled lightly and nodded.

"Ah, there's that beautiful smile,"Niall said, leaning down to kiss my temple. "Wait here. I'll get you a plate and utensils."

He went into the kitchen and got the things before sitting back next to me.

"I haven't eaten all day,"I admitted, taking my first bite. I immediately felt better.

Niall sighed. "Don't do that again. If you're ever feeling sad, call me right away."

I nodded. "Thank you for everything. I feel so much better now."

He smiled and replied,"That's my girl. I'm sorry about the fans. They just get overprotective sometimes."

"I understand, but it's just hard. I feel like I did something wrong and I'm being punished for being a normal person with a heart and feelings,"I mumbled.

"Just ignore it. It gets easier, I promise."

"And it's worth it if it means being with you,"I smiled.

Niall chuckled, pulling me into a big hug. "You're so adorable." He pulled away and added,"By the way, I was thinking..."

I nodded for him to continue.

"We never actually went on a real official date,"he said.

I laughed lightly. "That's kind of true, isn't it?"

"Technically. So, how about we go on a real official date tonight?"

"I don't know, I'm-"

He interrupted,"It'll be fun, I promise."

"Okay, fine."

"Perfect. We'll go tonight."

I furrowed my eyebrows. "Where though?"

"Don't worry. Just dress warm,"he said with a big smile on his face.

"Niall, tell meee,"I whined.

"You really don't like surprises, huh?"he chuckled.

I shook my head. "Not one bit."

"Well too bad."

I glared at him. "Wow, you're annoying."

Niall clutched his chest dramatically, laying back on the couch. "Ouch, you killed me with that one,"he mumbled.

I hit his arm, laughing. "Whatever. How's your songwriting going by the way?"

"Really good. I met with some producers and we're going to start recording some songs soon,"he smiled.

"You never played me any,"I frowned.

Niall seemed to shy away. "I can't play any yet..."

I huffed,"Why not?"

"Just wait a little while longer,"he replied.

I rolled my eyes playfully, crossing my arms. "I'm a little offended but oh well."

"Can I ask you something?"Niall asked suddenly.

I nodded for him to continue, putting my last bite of French toast in my mouth.

"Why is it so hard for you to tell someone you love them?"he asked quietly.

I felt a pit in my stomach. I'm not really the kind of person who outwardly talks about my feelings. But I felt like I could open up to Niall. I have to stop bottling everything up inside of me.

"Growing up, I always felt so insecure and thought no one would ever love me. I had a few boyfriends and stuff, but they never lasted more than a few months. Each time, I told them I loved them and they didn't feel the same. It broke my heart. It made me feel so unworthy and stupid. I gave my love away so fast, and it was never reciprocated."

Niall sighed, rubbing my back. He was listening so intently. It made me feel at ease.

I continued,"And then I started hanging out with you guys. Harry was the first boyfriend I had that lasted more than a year. Anyone would think that I was lucky dating him, but that was the problem. Why was I "lucky" to have someone love me? Was I not good enough on my own? That made it hard for me to tell him I love him. Of course I still love him dearly, but it took me 2 years to say it because I was so scared he would break my heart. And I mean, eventually he did." I laughed lightly at how terrible everything sounded.

Niall chuckled lightly. "But at least you two are still friends."

"Yeah.. But Niall, please know that I have feelings for you. I really do. I just ask that you be patient."

Niall took my hands in his and said,"I will wait as long as it takes. Whenever you feel the time is right."

I kissed him and mumbled,"You're the best."

He grinned. "Do I get some extra action for that?"

I hit his shoulder. "No!"

He chuckled,"It was worth a try."