At the last second, I grab the hilt, forcing it away from Yana's heart and the blade slips, cutting deep into her gut. Yana screams, collapsing to her knees. Blood pours out of the stab wound and I kneel wrapping my arm around her shoulders and pulling her into me. Cradling her. Her shoulders shake with sobs and a kiss her forehead, tears streaming down my face. "Yana, oh my darling I'm sorry." She coughs, groaning in pain and I hold her tighter still, as if I could hold onto her life with my bare hands. "I'm s-sorry... Mother." she whispers.
"Oh Yana no! There is nothing to be sorry for. It my fault-"
"No!" she grunts, wincing in pain, "No Mother it is not your fault. Please... it is not you fault or.... Ampelio's or..... or...." I gasp,
"Yana? Yana please stay with me!" I cried,
"Or S-s-ørens f-fault. Please Mother." she whispers, desperately.
"Okay darling. Okay." I soothe her. My hand absentmindedly began to stroke her fair hair. Her hair always reminded me of Cress'. Sometimes I would catch myself braiding it like Cress used to...
"Mother?" Yana coughed, blood dripped down her chin.
"Yes, Yana?" Her breath rattled in her chest,
"I love you... and I'm sorry"
"I love you too." I promised. "And there is nothing to be sorry for." Yana coughed. Her breath hitched. And then she slumped against me. I watched through the tears as the life left her piercing blue eyes. I have always loved those eyes the most.
It just never occurred to me to tell her that.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _
Søren find me with her, my arms cradling her frail, lifeless body, eyes closed, around 5 minuets after she died. I couldn't leave her I couldn't move I just...
"Theo! What hap-" His stopped, cut of by the sight in front of him. He took an unsteady step forward. "Theo... what happened." His voice broke my heart. Barely a whisper but full of distress and pain. Søren crouched down next to me, placing a hand on my arm. "Let her go, Theo." I did ask he asked, gently placing her on the floor. My hand tucked a stray lock of hair behind her ear. Her eyes were closed. She looked to delicate so vulnerable. All her fears and hurt had disappeared. But I had lost my daughter. "She k- She killed herself, Søren." I whisper. But even that takes for much effort and I watch as the weight of it hits Søren in the chest. He sinks to his knees in Yana's blood, his face a mournful wreak. His cheeks stained with tears.
I knew what he was thinking. That it was his fault. I knew because that was exactly how I felt now, the guilt and pain resting heavily on my shoulders. And no matter how many time Yana could have told me, it is something I will always feel.
Because it is true.
A sob shakes my chest and I press my face into Søren's shoulder. "Call for someone, please Søren." my voice breaks as it say it, "I just can't." Søren merely nods, tearing his eyes away from our daughter.
I barely hear him as he calls out into the corridor.
I'm surprised now one else came running to Yana when she screamed. I'm just glad I got here in time.
About ten people fill the room, running to Søren's command. I don't bother to try and place them. I find I can't make eye contact anymore. Yana isn't the first who I have watched die, personally, but this seems to hurt so much more.
I remember watching Cress kill herself with the dagger I gave her in the prisons a lifetime ago. That was mercy.
Was this?
At some point someone, Søren I think, leads me gently out of the room and back to my own. I crawl into bed and hide under the covers. Not very Queenly, I know. Someone, definitely Søren this time, curls up next to me, holding me close as the tears come. I reach up and press my lips to his. "Its not your fault, Søren." I murmur against his lips, "She told me to tell you that." He kisses me back, slow and bruising. I pull away, "she loves you, Søren." I whisper, "she told me too tell you that too."
YOU ARE READING
Søren's child (Ash Princess fanfic)
Fanfiction(16 years later) What if Theodosia and Søren had children? Meet Ampelio and Yana. Ampelio is loved as Astrea's heir and his likeness to his Mother. Yana is hated for her Kalovaxian looks and rumoured father, Søren. While Yana tries to come to terms...
