In Times of War

Chapter Twenty-One

Chapter Twenty-One

Graduation went smoothly, the after-party did not.

   At graduation we were sat alphabetically with spectators sitting at the back. Alice sat a row ahead of me and David sat several rows back with everyone that was watching the ceremony. I gave my graduation speech as I was valedictorian. How I had time to write it with everything going on, I’ll never know but I got it written one way or another. Everyone got their nursing certificates and licenses to practice nursing after they shook hands with the instructor. When I walked off the stage I suddenly felt dizzy and stumbled and had to catch myself on the railing of the stairs. Other than that, graduation went off without a hitch.

   Afterwards there was a reception with food and drinks in the front yard. I was having a good time, sipping the cold water as the sun beat down. Alice came over all bubbly and excited especially because she got salutatorian. In my opinion she should have gotten valedictorian, but I got it somehow instead; I personally think it was because I went missing and everyone felt bad for me.

   I was taking a break from all the handshakes and congratulations of all the parents and teachers and the few classmates. I’d managed to dodge Alice and get into the back corner of the backyard by the woods. I was leaning against the iron chain link fence that goes marks the property line. I was generally trying to avoid any people, but David in particular.

“I get the feeling you’re trying to avoid me.” David’s voice whispers in my ear as his arms wrap around my waist, pulling me against his chest.

I say nothing.

“Because you didn’t even look at the note I sent you and you looked everywhere but me during your speech.”

Again, I say nothing.

“Firecracker, I know you don’t want to hear this, but you do have to eat. That dizzy spell I know you had on stage, it’s because you won’t eat enough. You may not want to eat, but you have to.”

“No, I don’t. At least, not as much as you think I should.” I turn around in his arms so I’m looking up at him.

   “I think you should eat enough to keep your body strong. You’re not being strong right now, physically at least. You want to be pretty, but you’re already beautiful. The things you want you already have. The things you need you don’t want. It makes no sense. You need to be healthy, but-“

“Just stop with the lecture. I don’t need it. I’m fine, and I’ll be even better once I lose some weight.” I push him away and walk a couple steps away.

“You don’t have any weight to lose! Can’t you see that?” He shouts.

“No, I can’t! What I see is a scared, ugly, fat little girl that doesn’t deserve to have anyone at all, least of all you!”

   “You are anything but ugly. You are the farthest thing from fat I’ve ever seen. And, if anything, I don’t deserve you! Maria, you are perfect to me. You don’t need to lose weight, if anything you should gain some. Please, you need to see that. I’m not gonna make you eat a whole lot, just eat regularly and eat a decent amount. Please, just take care of yourself; I mean really take care of yourself for me while I’m gone. Promise?”

    I smile and nod my teary head, lying completely for his benefit. He closes the distance between us, a very relieved but suspicious expression on his face. He folds me into his arms and I feel happy that he says I’m beautiful. He can’t possibly think that honestly, though. He’s just too nice of a guy to say so. It’s one of the things I love the most about him. How sweet and polite he is, how much he cares. He kisses the top of my head, not letting me go, although I really don’t mind. As with all the loveliest moments of the world, it ended much too soon.