In Times of War

Chapter Twenty-Eight

Chapter Twenty-Eight

This is not good.

   It’s been three weeks since I was first admitted to the hospital and I’d gained back fifteen pounds.  I had to gain twenty more pounds before they released me. That wasn’t the worst part. The worst part was: I was starting to want to eat. My body was starting to want to eat and it was expecting food.

   All the talking I had been getting about how wonderful it was that I was eating was starting to get to me. Despite that, it was still hard to eat. Even though I wanted to eat, it was hard to force myself to eat. They were giving me small amounts of food throughout the day, but the foods that they were giving me were full of fat. I still couldn’t eat it all. I just couldn’t make myself. It wasn’t even all about the way I looked anymore; it was more like I had some kind of mental block in my head that wouldn’t let me eat.

   There was a little voice in the back of my head that was telling me that I was gaining fat. I didn’t listen to that voice most of the time, but it was still hard to eat even without it. I was starting to believe that I actually did have a problem and I wanted to fix it. Not just because it would get me out of the hospital or because I would be able to be a nurse in the Army, but because I really did want to get better.

It was scaring me.

“Maria, a letter for you.” My mother comes in waving a letter in the air.

“Who’s it from? Who’s it from?” I bounce up and down in the bed like a child.

“I think you know who it’s from.” She smiles and hands the letter to me. Then she walks out of the room to give me some privacy and I rip the letter open.

August 15th 1942

Dearest Maria,

   Happy birthday! I know by the time you get this it will be well past your birthday, but it’s your birthday now. I hope you ate something big. Thank you for saying you would eat something I just hope you followed through. I’m worried about you. Please take care of yourself. I want you to get better. I want YOU to want to get better. I love you.

David

   I had turned twenty-one last week, the day he wrote the letter. So now the only thing standing in between the Army Nurse Corps and me was a clean bill of health. I was going to fix that real quick and in a hurry. Right after I write a letter back to David.

August 22nd 1942

Dearest David,

   Thank you for the birthday wishes. I’ve been eating a lot better and I’ve even gained fifteen pounds. I have to gain twenty more and hold at that weight for two weeks before Doctor Tennant will let me join the Nurse Corp. I’m doing better, I promise. I honestly do want to get better, and not just to get out of the hospital or to join the Corp. Don’t worry about me, worry about yourself because I’m fine. I love you.

Maria

   The boy really worries too much. He worries about me when he is on a battlefield in the line of fire. It makes no sense. I take my letter to my no sense making boyfriend and give it to a nurse to mail for me. After that I go back to my room for supper. A yummy platter of mashed potatoes and a ham sandwich sits on my bed. It looks delicious and a part of me wants to eat it all, part of me wants to throw it all out the window, and another part of it wasn’t sure which to do. I decide to eat it.

   It was delicious, but I couldn’t eat more than a few bites of the mashed potatoes and a quarter of the sandwich. I wasn’t full, but I couldn’t make myself eat more than that. When Doctor Tennant came in to check on how much I had eaten he seemed disappointed.

“Maria, you were doing so well. Are you sure you can’t eat any more?”

“Sorry, Doc, I just can’t do it.” I shrug.

“Is it because you’re not hungry or because you don’t want to eat?”

“I just… can’t.”

“You need to eat, whether you want to or not… Are you sure you can’t?” I nod.

“Yeah, sorry, I really want to.”

   He sighs like he’s disappointed and then takes my half eaten food away. I lean back in bed and pick up a book to pass the time. I was ready to get out of here as soon as I could, but until then I had to find something to occupy my time. I didn’t really have people to come and keep me company except my mother and sometimes Leo and Mrs. Martin. Lee’s mother never came, mostly because she didn’t know me at all, partially because she always had the night shift at the factory.

“Maria, sugar, you’re mother called. She won’t be able to come tomorrow because she’s got the night shift.” My favorite nurse stands in the doorway.

“Thanks, Carolyn.” I smile at her then go back to my book. I expect her to go away, but she doesn’t.

   “And your friend is here.” She steps back to reveal a brown-haired girl standing behind her. I jump out of the bed and tackle her as Carolyn leaves the scene. I eventually climb off of her and help the girl off the floor.

“Allie, what are you doing here?”

“Can’t a girl just come and see her best friend?” Alice laughs.

“I thought you had a job at a hospital in Atlanta,” I pull her into my room and shut the door.

“I do, but I had a few days off so Mama convinced me to come here and spend a little bit of time with you.”

“Did you really need that much convincing?” I raise a skeptical eyebrow.

“No. To be honest I might have let them know ten minutes before I caught the bus.” She shrugs and sits on the bus with me.

“But why’d you come this late, I mean it’s almost nine at night?”

“I had the morning shift, but I’m not here to talk about me. I’m here to talk about you.” She pokes me in the shoulder. “Geez, Louise, you really are all skin and bones.”

“Don’t you get on me too!”

   “Oh, honey, I’m just gettin’ started.” I then sit for an hour and listen to Alice drone on and on about how I need to eat. Even after I tell her that I am eating she continues lecturing me about eating. She told me all about the consequences of not eating and everything, even though I’d already gotten the same speech a hundred times from everyone I’d talked to in the past three weeks besides Leo. When Carolyn knocks on my door I’m about ready to knock Alice into next Sunday.

“Sorry, girls, but visiting hours were over a long time ago. Alice, you gotta go, sugar.”

“Okay, Ms. Carolyn. I’ll be gone in two shakes of a rat’s tail.” Alice flashes her an award winning smile and Carolyn holds up two fingers to show that we had two minutes at the most.

“Two minutes, then I’m gettin’ the broom after you. Both of you.”

“I am innocent in this matter, Ms. Carolyn.” I say, holding my hands up in surrender.

“Mh hmm…” She shuts the door behind herself as she walks out.

“I’ll be back tomorrow, don’t you worry. And if you haven’t eaten anymore by tomorrow morning, I’ll shove a Thanksgiving feast down your throat.” She gets up and opens the door.

“I’d like to see you try, Allie.” I joke. She laughs and shuts the door after her.

I go to sleep with a smile on my face.