[誓願] 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘮𝘪𝘴𝘦 | 𝘴𝘶𝘯𝘢 𝘳. 𝘹 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳

𝘪 𝘸𝘪𝘴𝘩 𝘪𝘵 𝘸𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘮𝘦

-ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ-

sparking lights hung high and the room being filled with familiar faces. the piano played slowly, filling the room with it's beautiful sounds. felt as if we were all floating, on your special day.

the greens and flowers painting the room, and you stood there wearing a suit that perfectly fit your sharp figure and colors that complimented your eyes.

oh if only it were ok for me to stare at them all i want
to escape my dissolving world
getting lost into them
and you would always tease me about it

but your eyes are locked onto another
they belong to some else
not me

you stood there smiling, tears in your eyes, and the love of your life walked down the aisle,
flowers sprinkled on the floor.
she stared at you
as all eyes on her
her dress hugged her curves
the dress train left a ominous mark like it was mocking me, saying

"you wish this was you, huh?"

this was supposed to be my day
my special day
my wedding dress
this beautiful place supposed to ours
the invitation letter were supposed to have our names written on it with gold.

i was supposed to walk down that aisle.
and only see you there smiling at me, as we say those sweet words of promises.
put the beautiful rings on each other.
kiss me like nobody was there.
and dance our night away.

but instead i stood in the sideline.
pushed aside and having to watch it all happen
watching you officially tie the know with another
promising you'll stay with each other until death due you apart.

it hurts ya know?
seeing you forgetting our own promise
why do i have to suffer?
hadn't you hurt me enough world?

but instead i have to sit here smiling for you. i love you too much to hate you. even if this smile fake. i'm sure you wouldn't notice. you should be focused on her. and not having to deal with my selfishness, right?

warm tears came down my cold cheeks
everyone did the same.
they were happy for you
i was too...

but can i really say that with an honest heart?

i was suffering.
broken.
lost...
i don't want to be here anymore
i want to go home...

how had you move on so quickly?
how did you forget?
you said you'd marry me when i come back...
but instead all, i saw was you hooked onto another
fulfilling our promise with another
was that all nothing?
or did you lose that special feeling in your heart? was that why you stopped writing to me? seeing all those miscalls with my name written on it and ignoring it.

did i run out of time?
i'm sorry i took so long...
it's my fault for taking my sweet time. were you suffering for those six year? why did i even go if i knew i wasn't going to do anything special.

if i just stayed...
this special day would've been ours

ukiyo has the perfect man under her spell
she has everything
she's perfect

and i'm nothing
useless
a waste of space
so why am i still here?

"you ask yourself that, but how long are you gonna repeat that? you know what you need to do. besides know would care if your gone. he's with another. so why would be care about you?"

yeah but...
i wish it were me