Dusk & Dawn

4- because why not

I hated it when I couldn't sleep.

I woke up with pain all over my body; it felt like someone was constantly hammering over all the bones in my body. I headed to the bathroom once I was able to crawl out of my bed. As I bent my head down into the basin to brush, red liquid streamed down my nose and hit the white basin with a sharp contrast.

What a time to be alive, I wondered.

I turned on the temperature and opened water to fill the bath. As I stepped into it, I feel my skin redden on contact with such scalding temperature. As I felt my body drop, I held onto the edges of the jacuzzi to prevent myself from drowning in a bath I made for myself.

By the time I got out to get ready for work, I was busy wiping off the remaining stain of my nosebleed which had stopped. As I walked to my dresser mirror to clean up the rest of the stain, a loud knock came on my door, and Naomi entered my room immediately.

Rashly, I grabbed the cotton wool from the table, cleaned off the remaining bloodstain, and threw it in the bin. She only eyed me cautiously before looking into the bin.

"Did you bleed again?" She immediately looked back at me.

"It wasn't that bad," I replied, trying to divert her from the topic. But I knew Naomi; there wasn't going to be any forgetting this topic.

"I still cannot understand why you're doing this to yourself." She threw her hands up in frustration as she followed me to my closet where I started to decide on an outfit for the day.

"Naomi, not again," I pleaded.

"You know very well what alcohol does to your health; why can you not stay away?" She asked, exasperated.

"And I keep telling you that it keeps me sane. Jesus, Naomi, you're such a mom." I threw out my underwear on the bed along with a casual green top and black pants.

"You're killing yourself," she said, more like she was reminding me.

I sighed before going to her, "what does it matter? I'm going to die either way."

"Don't say that to yourself. You're going to get surgery; you are going to be fine."

"Okay, Naomi, I'll keep that in mind," I tried to smile at her as I squeezed her shoulder in assurance. "Now excuse me, I'm late for class."

She shook her head with a sigh, convincing herself to believe me as she walked out of my room. As soon as she left, I got into my clothes and finally finished getting ready for the day.