I wonder If He'd Be Proud Of Me

Exiled

TW/ Suicidal thoughts

"Tommy do you think we'll end up like Wilbur and Schlatt when we're older?"

"No of course not Tubbo! We're much closer then they ever were!"

Tommy looked at the ground...

What a fucking lie.

He had been exiled a few days now. No visitors yet.

"Tommyinnit, you are hereby exiled."

"Wait but you said...."

"Come on Tommy. Let's go."

Tommy had tears in his shirt...his eyes had bags under them for his lack of sleep...he hadn't seen anyone in a couple days.

He took the blame for burning down the house.

He made sure they let Ranboo go...

Dream built those walls around L'Manberg and...Tubbo exiled him so they were taken down.

Damn though...the longer he was out here alone...the more he felt he deserved this.

Ghostbur had been there most days...others he went to L'manberg.

Tommy missed it so much.

One day...a certain person came to visit while Ghostbur was gone.

"Hello!" The man said, outside Tommy's tent.

"Hey Dream..." Tommy said laying in the tent. He had a lot of sadness in his voice.

"Come out of there."

Tommy did as told...he had basically given up.

"Now take off your armor."

"What? No!" Tommy yelled in a high pitched voice. Dream slashed his axe at Tommy, who screamed and complied to Dream's request putting it into a pile.

Dream dug a hole then put tnt there and lit it.

Tommy watched as his armor was destroyed by Dream. He felt even more hopeless.

Sapnap and Ghostbur showed up.

Shenanigans ensued.

Tommy had accomplished...one thing that day...he made a nether portal.

He went through it, it was near the portal to the Dream SMP so...he obviously made his way to the other portal...Dream, Sapnap, and Ghostbur following.

"Theres a Christmas Tree?!" Tommy exclaimed. Dream chuckled a bit.

"Yeah, it looks really neat!"

"Can I go see it?" Tommy asked.

"No Tommy. You're exiled." Dream said simply. Tommy pouted for a minute then....got into a weird state of mind...

"Tommy i can go take a picture of it for you." Ghostbur offered.

Tommy didn't respond.

Ghostbur went through the portal to Dream SMP.

Dream and Sapnap followed.

Sapnap got on top of the big tree to be the star on top of it.

Tommy...stood at the edge of the path...staring into the lava...something about seemed nice to him.

Dream laughed a bit at Sapnap and Wilbur.

"Im gonna go back just to see if..." Dream went through the portal. He saw Tommy staring at the lava...in a trance.

In Tommy's mind...all he thought about was how he couldn't see his friends every day...how he couldn't live with them anymore. How he couldn't do all the things that made him happy anymore...all he had was loneliness.

He took a step...to try and walk off the edge.

Dream was very diligent and caught him before he fell.

He expected Tommy to be goofing off or something.

But...he saw Tommy....like this instead.

"Its not your time to die yet Tommy." He said...his mask and voice hiding his feelings about the matter.

Tommy gave a small sigh still looking at the lava.

"Its never my time to die...."

Dream waved him over to come with him...he was worried about Tommy.

He never thought...Tommy of all people...would have the slightest thought of...offing himself.

Tommy walked over...he was obedient...that was something he had never been before.

Dream took him back to Logstedshire...

Stayed a bit...then left.

He went and told Phil about it...

"Ah..." Is all Phil reacted with...he carried around Wilbur's old beanie with him...

He was in mourning still...though he'd never show it.

"Well what should we do about it?" Dream asked...he seemed scared.

"I dont know...he needs to be back home...but that's not an option. Well Dream....I suggest we make sure someone is with him everyday." Phil simply said...he was dressed in something new.

It was blue and red.

"Whats the outfit for?" Dream asked.

"Well, Techno needs help a lot, since he's...kind of also exiled? In a way. So, me being his only....actual friend even if im his dad...he's been wanting to spend more time with me...since I had been gone so long." Philza said to Dream...

Dream understood.

"....can I adopt...Tommy...as another big brother for the time being?" Dream asked. Phil had a look of surprise.

"Well...yeah? I thought you guys were enemies but if you wanna...act as his older brother you can..." Phil said.

Dream nodded and left.

Tommy was just staring at the water...standing with his feet in it.

He just stood there and stared.

And stared...

And stared.....

He had half a mind to just drown himself.

He fell backwards, he looked up at the sky.

"Everyone who's claiming to be on our side, they're lying to us! Tubbo? He's lying to you!"

Wilbur's voice rang through his mind like a sharp knife.

"He‐ he, would DROP us the second he realized we weren't in the lead anymore."

Wilbur...was...right.

No.

Yes.

No no no.

You know he was.

No no no no no!

Tommy...was at war with himself.

He silently cried thinking of both good and bad times.

He eventually fell asleep...hoping the tide would wash him away.