Funny, but dirty jokes

Amusing pick-up lines

Are you an interior decorator? Because when I saw you, the entire room became beautiful.

My dick just died, can I bury it in your vagina?

Did you sit in a pile of sugar?

Cause you have a pretty sweet ass!

"Wanna go on an ate with me? I'll give you the D later."

I heard you got a boyfriend, but girl don't try & pretend, like you don't want this dick all the way in.

I may not go down in history, but I'll go down on you.

Girl, you should sell hotdogs, because you already know how to make a weiner stand.

Hello, I'm bisexual. I'd like to BUY you a drink...and then get sexual.

Hey do you have an inhaler? Cause you got that ass ma!

I'm going to have sex with you later, so you might as well be there!

They're called "eyebrows" cus my eyes are browsin your fine ass babe.

Are you an elevator? Because i want to go down on you.

"If you were a washing machine, I would put my dirty load inside you."

I heard your grades are bad.....I'm sure this D won't hurt.

Hi, i'm a burgular... and I'm gonna smash your back door in!

You can call me "The Fireman"....mainly because I turn the hoes on!

I'm a zombie, can I eat you out?

I wish you were soap so I could feel you all over me.

Are you religious? Because you're the answer to all my prayers.

Is your daddy a Baker? Because you've got a nice set of buns!

I'm not a photographer, but I can picture me and you together.

If you were a tropical fruit, you'd be a Fine-apple!

Did you sit in a pile of sugar? Cause you have a pretty sweet ass.

Do you have a Band-Aid? Because I just scraped my knee falling for you.

Did you invent the airplane? Cause you seem Wright for me.

If I were a stop light, I'd turn red everytime you passed by, just so I could stare at you a bit longer.

Did you ever realize screw rhymes with me and you?

Hey I'm looking for treasure, Can I look around your chest?

My two favorite letters of the alpabet E Z.

Theres a party in my pants and your invited.

I'm addicted to yes, and I'm allergic to no.

So what's it gonna be?

Hey, I lost my underwear, can I see yours?

Hey, why go for the best when you can go for the rest?

Come here or my dick will start CUMING for you! Don't be so picky.... I wasn't!

I just shit in my pants... Can I get in yours?

I lost my virginity... can I have yours?

I may not be able to knock bottom, but I'll scrape the shit out of the sides!

My body is telling me yes. I hope yours is doing the same thing.

Is there a magnet in your pants? (Why?) Cause I'm attracted to your buns of steel!

Here is $30. Drink until I am really good looking, then come to talk to me.

Authors note:

I'm so sorry I haven't updated in a while I have been really busy. If you have any ideas for this book just comment. Remember to vote! 👌