Oneshots

Backstory Block - Nasijou Meivii

Nasijou Meivii says fuck everything

TW: doctors?, hospitals, death, stress, grief, uhhh bigotryyy???

Kasiku was born stressed out. 

At least, that's what it seemed like. 

From the time he could understand his situation, understand his family's history of neurological disorders, he was terrified of getting or having one. He could never focus on anything, he was always very stressed out about over exerting his nervous system and never though he could do any physical activity. 

But when his little sister Kourin was born, everything changed. He knew that there was a chance she would be the one to get one, and his guilty joy only increased when Kourin was diagnosed with Retts Syndrome. 

He knew that there was no chance he would get a neurological disorder, so he could live his life like any other kid. He decided to join his school's volleyball team, to celebrate and to finally do something with his life, and he though nothing could ruin his happiness. 

He was wrong. 

Two years later, when Kasiku was 13, he was diagnosed with ALS and his heart fell. It was everything he had been dreading. He had been waiting for this his whole life, so why was it so sudden? So unexpected? So upsetting? 

He quickly fell into a depressive state, thinking that he had nothing to live for anyways, that he's going to die soon, so what's even the point of anything? He thought that maybe he should just die now, get it all over with, maybe all the money that they spent on his doctors and nurses and medication and therapists could go to Kourin instead. When he shared these thoughts with his therapist, he just told him that research could help him cope, maybe that if he knew more about ALS, it would help him come to terms with it. 

It didn't. It really didn't. 

It, in fact, only made it all worse when he found out about the likelihood of living the end of his life immobile. 

When he was 14, he had his first freeze up. It wasn't familiar to the doctors, but they just figured that it was because of his youth. But that wasn't the important part. What really happened that day was when Kasiku was fooling around and exploring the neurological ward, he met an old man. 

He was probably in his late 70s, his face liver spotted, his skin some kind of sack on his bones and he was confined to a bed with the doctors notes marking him as having ALS as well. But what really drew Kasiku in was the smile on his face. 

It was cheerful, and careless, and it was refreshing. Compared to all the sombre expressions the others worse, he was a sun shining upon them all. 

Kasiku demanded an explanation. How could he be so happy, so calm, in face of certain death?! He took his hand in his, all the man could say before Kasiku had to leave was "I don't have time to feel sorry for myself."

A couple days later, when he finally had a bit of space away from his parents, he knew he had to act fast. He ran away from his house straight to the hospital where he had met the man, not even bothering to put on his shoes. When he finally got to the building, his feet were scratched up and bleeding, he was out of breath and he felt as if he could barely move. 

But he had to keep going.

Kasiku fought his way through a maze of hallways, security guards and concerned nurses all the way to the neurological ward before he collapsed to his knees. He looked up, and his heart broke.

A gurney was being wheeled away from the old man's room, a hand draping across the side before being tucked away by a nurse. 

He knew that hand.

His head fell as waiting tears came pouring down his face, babbling nonsense as the grief overwhelmed him. He's dead?! But he was alive just yesterday! And he had so much more to do, so much to live for! Why did he have to die like this?! And that's when it hit him. Through tears and pain, he finally understood what the old man told him.

And he didn't have the time to feel sorry for himself either.

Kasiku immediately started to try and change her behavior. He didn't have time to procrastinate, so he took a couple months of break from his everyday life. It was hard, but it was worth it. There was never a calm moment in his mind as he thought long and hard about himself, and what he wanted to do in his life, soon to be cut short. He wanted to play an instrument. He wanted to play all instruments! He wanted a girlfriend, and as he discovered, maybe even a boyfriend or partner. He wanted to love so many people and make them all happy. He wanted-

This final realization came to him like a slap in the face. He didn't just want to be a boy using she/her. He didn't just want to be a boy with long dresses and long tresses. He didn't just want to be a boy who everyone thought was a girl.

He didn't want to be a boy at all.

She was a girl.

Wildly excited at finding out something so important and wildly reckless in general these days, Nasijou, previously known as Kasiku, came out to everyone she knew. Friends, family, neighbors, and everyone else who gave her a second glance. There was no time for her to stay in the closet. It was terrifying, but it was freeing. 

As expected, she wasn't received well everywhere, but it wasn't as disastrous as she thought it might be. Her parents adjusted to her newly chosen name and pronouns quickly, and her recently more verbal little sister did so even quicker.

Once that was over with, she jumped headfirst into everything else. She learnt the basics of lots of instruments, and really took to a couple of them, the trombone and the drums. With these newly acquired musical skills, she joined her school's marching band, and after much searching, joined a rock band as well.

Through all of these new hobbies, she made many new friends, creating new connections from what she had lost. And in a certain chaotic enby singer, the leader of the rock band, she found more than a friend. She found a joyfriend.

Of course, no joy comes without pain.

She was booted off of the lineup, sent to pinch server because she was no longer allowed to play as much as she used to. It hurt her, not being able to help her teammates make skillful spikes, but she was at least glad to be on the team.

A year passed, and she was quite happy with her life. As her second year of high school rolled around, she met a guy around her age, new to the school and new to the volleyball team. He had fluffy pink hair and soft brown eyes that Nasijou could simply lose herself in. After a couple weeks of friendship, the boy made the leap to ask her out.

And how could Nasijou say no to those beautiful brown eyes?

They had a strong relationship, full of energy and full of fun outings. Unlike the soft partnership Nasijou and her joyfriend had, it was all action. They went to fun places together, practiced together, and played together whenever possible. They talked a lot, about anything and everything.

But apparently "everything" didn't include Nasijou's sexuality.

The first time Nasijou brought up her joyfriend (or at least the first time according to her boyfriend), he grew furious. He accused her of cheating, and of keeping him away from other people who had confessed to him. They broke things off, and he blamed everything on her. 

She then decided to break things off with her joyfriend, afraid that they would feel a similar way. Of course, she still kept drumming for their band, but it ended up putting some awkward distance between them. Eventually, Nasijou made an effort to patch things up with her exes, and they once again became friends. But nothing but time could really help what happened.

After her third year, her parents decided to move to another school, for a fresh start. Kourin got to make new friends, Nasijou got to join a great new team, and everything was peaceful.

For the time being, that is.