"Explain it fast or I'll drop the call.."I snap at him...
"First..I'm sorry...I'm really sorry for not messaging you...its not my intentions to ignored you...but i was really busy..."he explained....but I'm not convinced...why should I believe him after all the pain he gave it to me?
"That's all?are you done?"I lazily asked him to show him I am not in a mood to talk to him..but deep inside of me..I want him to beg me to...to comfort me..to ease all the pain cause by him...
"I'm sorry sweetheart...I missed you.."the emotion in his voice almost make me lost my control from sobbing..I really missed him.. but this Id!ot chose to ignore me..it really hurts to think..that it's so easy for him to forget his promises...he said he will not hurt me like what my ex has done to me..but he failed...he broke his promises...he broke my trust...I trusted him with my feelings....but he never value it...and I hate him for being an as*hole...
"Stop lying...you don't missed me....if you do...then why you left me and you didn't come for few days...?"I stifle my voice from breaking..I don't like to cry in the phone..I don't like to be a pathetic again..
"Sweetheart..listen to me please...."he pause and exhaled..."hear me out...its true..I really missed you...I didn't come..because I want to give you a time..."he paused again...I just waited for his next words to say..."a time for you to realize if I have a space in your heart.."he stopped talking
..and I can feel the silence wrap me...wrapped me with a goosebumps all over my body...
Did I really made a space for him in my heart..while he is gone?i am confuse..i am confused with my own feelings...did i really have a feelings for him?heck!do I really love him now?i keep on asking myself...until his voice woke me up from drowning in my own confusion..
"Sweetheart..tell me honestly...do you love me or not?"he become silent after spitting his difficult question...I am lost in my confusion again...do I really love him now?I open my lips to say something but before i can speak ...he beats me with his second words...
"Sweetheart...tell me honestly....do you love me now?if not ..then I'll stop bothering you and be contented as your friend.."his voice is full of love but yet sad...I really can't point out what his true feelings right now...it seems like he is holding back from something...his voice is cracking like anytime he'll lost his control and throw his ego as a man...
"Okey sweetheart...if you can't answer me now then I'll stop pressuring you...I'm sorry...I will never ask you......aga....."before he can finish his words...I stop him by saying what i really feel for him...
"Yeah....I missed you so much...when you're gone ..I realized that I can't stay without you..I missed everything about you....I think I......I think I...
" Heck!I never thought confessing feelings to a kiddo is hard as f*ck....damn it!.....
"Sweetheart...."he called me again that makes me stop from blabbering a nonsense words...."are you alright?"his concern still in his voice...."if you're not feeling well..take a rest and let's talk again later?"he asked me with love lace in his words...
"No...no..don't drop the call...I just want to say...that.....I think...I....think I...."i feel nervous again...OmG! "i think Iloveyounow"....i tell him while holding my breath and facepalm myself after saying those words...shit!this is so embarrassing!
*******THE END*******
