A kiss to remember || ✔

Her past

She is mine?

Nope. Nope. I was wrong.

She is not a kind of easy girl who you can control once you kissed her.
Even when it's obvious that the table has surely turned after that one fine day, we are not officially a couple, yet.

This frustrated me at some point. I just didn't know what she wants.
If I dont love her as much as I love my mother, maybe I would give up and walk away for good.

She said, she prefers not to rushed things out and I got upset for a lot of reason.

Yes, we have kissed.
Yes, we have shown affection to each other. But I can still sense her worries about how public would react to any dating news coming from her, eventhough on internet, netizens are going wild about wanting us to be a real couple not just in the drama.

Do you ever feel like wanna quit but you just can't?
That's exactly how I feel right now.

My boy friends even adviced me to go on a blind date or they will hook me up to some girls coz I was to whipped over her, they said things are not going to work out with Seohyun.
I even heard one of my friend said, "she is no match to your personality, pyo. She is no fun to be with. There are a lot more fun girls out there, stop your stupid admiration over her".

But,
I didnt fall for her just to have some fun.
If I want to have fun, there are other girls out there who's willingly become my girlfriend and have fun with me all day long 24/7. That's not what I need.
I want her brain, I want her personality, I want her as Seohyun the person not the celebrity.

But, on the other hand, I got confused with her as well.
Can we be an item?
Can she fall in love with me?
Is it worth the wait?

Today, I go to the studio with an upset feeling.
She didn't reply to my text last night. And few nights before. We only talked when we are in the studio and she went all missing after that.
I don't know how and what happened.

I arrived at the studio just 30 minutes before takes. She was there with her staffs.
As usual they greeted me and went all noisy about the game they were into these days.
I sat on the chair, reading the script without even looking at her.
Today, I just wanna finish the scenes and go home to sleep.

I wasn't interested in talking, joking or doing anything but reading.

Today's scenes are all about me spying on her after my death.
Good. I need no interaction with her.

I put on my earphone and as I was about to play a song to accompany me reading scripts, I heard her picking up a call.

"Yonghwa oppa, long time not hearing from you, how are you?". She said excitedly.

I canceled my music as I thought she might mistakenly think that I was listening to a song when she picked up his call.
Or whatever.
I don't care.
I remembered her expression when she talked excitedly to me and I hate it that she is doing it to another guy.
IT HURTS.

I continued reading my script and listening to her talking to someone from her past, pretending still with my music.

Of course I knew who is Yonghwa.
Everybody in this industry knew, what is her relationship with him.
Eventhough they never reveal if they have ever dated or not, her talking to him excitedly like that, is enough to make me fuming in anger.
It is really hard to deal with one sided love.
I tell you now.
It is hard.

She talked about her filming days and how she dealt with the struggles in taking scenes.
I didn't hear a single word of her introducing me as her drama partner.
I am totally upset.