An icy wind curled between men and elves, along the blades and barrels of weapons, over the steaming coats of exhausted reindeer and the first stirrings of untethered power, to brush Santa's empty, lifeless hands.
In the shell-shocked sleigh, Ava's head popped up from inside the sack. "What'd I miss?"
Her voice shattered the silence, plunging them all into the icy water beneath. Mrs Claus tore open the door of the sleigh and ran out, kneeling next to what remained of Santa. "He's not dead - he can't be - we - we saved-"
She stood up slowly, hands curling into fists. "KEVIN!"
Kevin jumped. "Uh, as - as you can see, the Epic Destructinator-2000 - er, I mean the Slay, ma'am - is very effective at-"
"Your - that dastardly contraption killed my husband!" she screamed. "How dare you stand here, how dare you -" She broke off, regaining a veneer of composure.
"You're exiled. Take this thing with you and go."
Kevin climbed into the Slay. "The - the reindeer, miss? And what are you doing to my Destructinator?"
This last part was directed at Ava, who hurried guiltily back to the sleigh, trying and failing to conceal a flamethrower beneath her jacket.
"Oh, do I look like I -" said Mrs Claus. "Release them once you're really far away. They'll make it back or something. GO!"
The Slay launched into the air like a comet, vanishing into the grey sky.
--------------------
The noise of chainsaws and shouting was muffled by the courtyard walls but nonetheless apparent.
"Ma'am - um, Mrs Claus?" said Ivy. "We - I mean, we're still under siege. We should probably do something. The magic is free to claim now. If they get in-"
Her words fell on empty air, torn by ragged breaths, as teardrops froze in the snow. Eventually, Mrs Claus raised her head.
"You go. Merry. Holly. Anyone. I - I can't leave him."
"It doesn't matter now-" began Noel. Merry cut him off.
"I - are you sure? It was yours by right, as the deputy. I don't - this can't be reversed, I never-"
"Damn the magic." Her hands curled around Santa's, his blood seeping into her apron. "Just give me this."
An explosion sounded from outside. Merry paused, unspoken regret written in the wrinkled lines on his forehead, then climbed into the sleigh. The world blurred around them, and they slid to a jarring stop above a supremely average-looking patch of snow. Unmarked and, apparently, unguarded.
Appearances proved to be deceptive when the air became a storm of flying nails, accompanied by a soundtrack reminiscent of cartoon punches. Ava screwed her eyes shut -
-and opened them, as something small and slightly bouncy landed on her head. She fished around in the sleigh's footwell, drawing out a novelty eraser shaped like an Angry Bird. A torn-off dragonfly wing drifted down, clinging to her shoulder.
Shouts echoed from uncomfortably close by. "Over there!" "What's that going on?"
The ground shimmered like a mirage, and Ava saw the cracks.
"Anyone could claim the magic," she muttered.
Three soldiers appeared, silhouetted against the snow, running towards the Pole. The sleigh swooped down to intercept them, but an elf beat them to it.
YOU ARE READING
Slay
HumorThis is legitimately the dumbest sugar-and-sleep-deprivation-fuelled plan I've ever come up with. Here's the synopsis: Santa is presumed dead. Mrs Claus is on a revenge quest. With the North Pole's magic unguarded, citizens of the world rush to stor...