forty nine.
"You told them everything about me?" You rapidly blinked your eyelids.
Your thoughts roamed towards yourself. From your need to drink some medicine every once in a while to your doctor visits.
It's not like you feel shameful about it.
You just don't want them to know. Anyone in your closest people can — just not those twelve guys.
Mrs. Yoon nodded shortly. "I did.."
"What did he say?" You hid your agitated expression and remained a superior poker face.
"Of course, he did not judge. It's Kim Minseok, Y/N. You've both been through ups and downs together." She managed to explain that added up your already piling questions.
"How could you act so alright then?" You asked, suspicious. "I was expecting you to get mad, or sad, or anything like that."
"I-I knew you were seeing them. I heard your silent cries." She grabbed your cheek and softly caressed it, hot tears wanting to fall but you were too expert on preventing it. "That's why I knew you needed them. Don't hesitate, Y/N. You are free. You are always free to choose them again."
"But.." You trailed off, not being able to pull some words to voice out your emotions and everything your brain was telling you to say. "W-We just c-can't be together again. It's no longer the same."
"If you are worrying about me, I am perfectly fine meeting them, you see. If you are worrying about Taehyung and his group, it is your choice and not theirs. If you are worrying about the nightmare that still haunts you, you are freed from them already. That's why you're still here — safe." She smiled, eyes painting in sadness, but her proudest love trampled on it. "You can go back, pretty one. I know you need them."
"Mom."
"Going back doesn't always mean you'll have to get the same old bond. We never know if you both still feel the same affectionate ways towards each other or you both lost it." That sentence from your own mother indeed hurt, but it is undeniably true. "Going back means being able to fix your past and be free from it. Might be in way of being friends again or by simply looking at them and telling yourself you had forgiven the wounds made by them. Not everyone has this chance, Y/N."
"You're making me cry." You quickly swiped away the tears.
She bit his bottom lip and frowned. "Don't cry, you fool. Go and talk to them."
"I can't!" You gave in and broke out right infront of her, tears endlessly streaming. "You literally just dropped some words like a knife at the onion."
"I don't cry cutting onions. Shut up about your unrelated metaphor." She grinned with her eyes getting teary as well.
"Really, Mom.." You sniffed, pouting. "You're the sweetest. And I am saying this with sarcasm."
"Just go and talk to th- Wait." Her gentle and understanding features slowly contorted into a tough one. "I forgot. You are head drunk last night."
Your frowning and dropped face slowly dissipated, cheeks blushing immediately. "Oh.. Uhm.. well.. I think, uhh, we should just keep crying here and all-"
"No excuse for my lectures even if you're sad there." She crossed her arms, sniffing from the strong emotions she felt earlier. "What did we talk about sneaking at night just to party?"
You huffed a sigh, a smile hiding beneath your face.
You know she's just making it as light as possible.
