Clato: Cuts Beneath the Surface

Chapter 11

As I walk home alone, I replay the day in my mind and a warm feeling churns in my stomach. It's not a feeling I'm used to and it takes me by surprise. Favian has always warned me against friends, but even just Cato and Elise are enough to brighten my life. For a moment I wonder if I am going soft, if I should be worried. But no, other training students have friends and even love lives. I will be okay.

Won't I?

My house comes into view, white siding falling apart at the edges. I remember when I was younger and Favian brought me home for the first time. The garden was well kept, the house freshly painted. It was more of a mottled grey than the ugly dull color it has faded to. It seems more run down than I remember now. Maybe it's always been like this and I've only just noticed.

When Favian 'adopted me' (and I mean that in the sense that the peacekeepers stopped calling my name at the orphanage and that was all) he used to make fresh lemonade and bring it out for me to drink. I'd run drills up and down the sidewalk, taking breaks for the sugary drink. It's been a while since I've had anything sweet.

He let me pick out which room I wanted of the spare two. I chose the one with the window seat and said it was because "I like being closer to you." He'd just smiled and run a hand through my hair. He made me promises when I moved in. We'd sat at the kitchen table eating pasta when he stopped and looked at me.

"Clove, just because I am your guardian now doesn't mean I will stop being your trainer, you know that right?" I nodded. "But it also means that just because I am your trainer I will not be any less of a father. I'm always going to be here for you. I'm always going to protect you."

I slide in the front door, careful of the squeaky hinge. The lights are off. I pray Favian hasn't been up waiting for me. On silent feet, the kind trained for hunting, I creep through the kitchen. The house smells foul, a rank odor piercing the air. I sidestep an empty beer bottle and remember finding the first one hidden in the trash can. That's when I knew--Favian is not the man who adopted me.

A dark shape fills the shadows of the living room. Favian lies passed out in a puddle of drool and filth.

"I'm always going to protect you."

By morning the evidence will be gone but the smell will never fully disappear. I give a little sigh of relief that Favian is alright. A larger part of me is glad he is out cold. I tiptoe upstairs, silent as the night.

My room is small but cozy. The walls are white with pink trim. I used to have a canopy bed but Favian tore it down during one of his fits and I never bothered to replace it. I slide silently out of my combat boots and skirt, pulling on soft pajama pants. The air is getting chilly this close to Christmas. I strip off my shirt and pull an old hoodie on over my sports bra.

Climbing into bed, I pull the covers tight around me. Some people would think it weird I sleep with a hoodie on but it makes me feel as though I'm being hugged. As though someone really does care.

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The next morning, I wake up stiff. Favian has breakfast waiting for me when I jog downstairs. I drain the protein shake and avoid looking at the indent in our carpet that hasn't quite been vacuumed out.

"I'll walk with you if you don't mind," Favian says.

"Course not," I reply. We discuss throwing tactics animatedly as we walk. I block out the image of last night.

"I know you love those knives but you need to be careful not to rely on anyone else getting them for you. You're vicious without them but you won't win," he tells me. I nod. We've had this conversation before.

We arrive at the training center and I drop my bag off in the locker room, saying a quick "hi" to Elise. "Want to come over again tonight?" she asks.

"I can't," I say and leave before she can ask why not.

Cato waits for me by the archery range--something we both suck at. Argus is present for once and sober. This could turn out to be a good day. Cato and I laugh at each other's poor technique until Argus yells at us and we exchange looks like scolded kindergarteners. Argus gives us 50 push ups for it.

"What's up his butt today?" Cato murmurs and I laugh, earning us 50 more. "I really need to ask my parents for a new trainer." He grunts. I nod, breathing too hard for a good response.

At lunch, Elise chatters on about Winter loosing her first tooth and how she's "growing faster than a jackrabbit runs" which I'll have to take her word for. I've never heard of a jackrabbit. Elise's family is odd like that.

Cato leaves for a sword private after lunch and I spend a few glorious hours playing with knives. The blade on my favorite is dull so I'm forced to stop and sharpen it. Favian yells at me for wasting time in front of everyone, turning dangerously red. I duck my chin and continue working. I ignore the comments Ralae and the other girls make. I know I'm better and I prove it. When I lace two knives on top of each other through a bulls eye, the whispers stop. Even Ralae is forced to abandon me for an easier target.

Cato joins me for dinner like he did before the tournament. I finally introduce him to Elise. "Look at our Clover, making friends," he teases.

"She's sure a tough one, isn't she?"

"Tell me about it." They laugh and I pout. When Cato leaves Elise leans over and whispers into my ear.

"He's cute." I make a disgusted face and she giggles. "Don't worry, I'm not interested." Which brings us back to Roni for the rest of the meal.

Favian insists on walking me home again that night. I see Cato watching us from the door but decide against waving. When we get home I know I'm in trouble. Favian bolts the door. "Would like to tell me where you were last night?"

"Just training with a friend," I whisper.

"Not that Cato boy."

"No-Elise Meadows. She's harmless."

"No one is harmless." He steps closer. His hands dig into my arms as he shoves me against the counter. "Don't do it again." His brown eyes have turned black. I fight back a cry as he hits me. Hard. Again and again and again.

It never ends.

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The next day, I stay late to train with Cato. "Keep your sword up! No not back, don't let me force you back!" We stop and I breath heavily. "You can't keep giving up so much ground Clover."

"Then how do I not give up ground?" I retort angrily.

"Counter attacks that don't involve stepping back! I've told you this over and over."

"I'm trying."

"Go again." We raise our swords and start to fight. As usual, Cato takes the advantage and starts to drive me back. I struggle against the weight of the object. Metallic clangs fill our little hideaway. Cato lunges and I pari, causing him to step back. He looks shocked and I advance farther.

My head is floating as I manage to cut him lightly on the arm. Cato grunts and tries to regain control but I don't allow it. I will win. Breathing hard and sweating I attack again with all my might. Cato doesn't expect my sudden ferocity and lets his guard down. The tip of my sword hits his chest. Right over the heart. For a moment we stand in shocked silence. Then a grin breaks out on his face.

"You did it!" He yells and whoops. Before I know it he has me in a tight hug. It's hot and we've been working out so I feel stifled. His check brushes against my hair. It takes less than a second for me to forget who is holding me. I forget he isn't Favian.

Gasping for breath I shove Cato away. He looks confused and a little hurt. I can barely see him through the spinning haze around me. I try to shake off his touch, dropping my sword on the ground with a clatter. I have to get out of here. I have to get away. I turn and run.

"Clover!" Cato calls, but I am already gone.

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A/N Thanks for reading! Please comment and vote! :)