Clato: Cuts Beneath the Surface

Chapter 29

A/N I'd like to start by saying sorry this took so long. I'm in two sports full time and honors classes so this is hard to fit in. I'm trying my best-promise! Anyway, hope you enjoy! I love hearing your comments on the last chapter by the way ;)
--------------------------------

1 Month later...

I wake up alone in the bed and look across the room to see Elise snuggling with Winter. I protested but Elise insisted I take her bed. Life here at the Meadow's is very different. But it's a good different. They treat me like part of the family, and there are so many kids its not hard to sneak in one extra.

Anna feeds me three square meals a day, forcing me to eat. I hide a lot of it in napkins. Now that my workouts aren't supervised I can't afford to gain much weight. Tomorrow I will go the the training center for a final examination with Razer Forman, and him alone. It is a great honor awarded to only the most promising tributes of the year. Little does anyone know I haven't been to the training center since the night Cato kissed me. But we don't talk about that. Elise has tried to get it out of me several times without success.

A few days after I had moved in, Anna and Emile (Elise's loving parents) sat me down in their cozy office and closed the door.

"Please sit, Clove." Emile said. I did and instantly felt uncomfortable. Were they about to ask me to leave? I perched on a bench along the wall facing two cherry armchairs and a stuffed pheasant the twins had named Claudette. I'm not sure why.

"We're just a little concerned about you, there's no need to worry." Anna said soothingly.

"So you aren't kicking me out?"

"Goodness no. We're more than happy to have you stay with us." She replied.

"Then what is it?"

"Elise has told us some things and we are a little worried about your guardian Favian. No one has seen him around for a few months and you aren't training or living with him anymore."

At Favians name my throat began to constrict. I sighed and told them a small truth. I find myself trusting them. We will see if that is a good or bad thing.
"Favian is not the man you think. There were other factors involved in me moving out." I said bluntly.

"Other factors?" questioned Emile.

I swallowed nervously. "I'm not in any danger from him. Please leave it be." I whispered. Anna and Emile shared a look and did as I asked. We sat in awkward silence for a few second while Anna played with her wedding band. I stared at the floor. It's hard getting used to people asking questions and caring. It makes me so uncomfortable. I don't like to talk about difficult things.

"Clove," Emile said, "We feel obligated to ask you one last thing-"
"We just want you to be happy and safe." Anna interrupted.
"Is everything alright between you and Cato? Did he do anything to you?" Elise's father asked.

In that moment my mind flashed back to the dark night where he held me tight. Where we sat together on Old Ella's bench. Where he kissed me. I remembered his soft lips on mine, the little jump in my stomach. And the shock of touching Cato and seeing Favian. But its not Cato's fault. I just need to distance myself from him. Don't get attached. Don't get emotional. Never listen to your heart. I reminded myself.

"Cato would never hurt me." I insisted. I thought back to that day so long ago when we started training together and how he promised he would never hurt me. So far, he has kept his word. Cato has never laid a hand on me outside of training. "I swear he has nothing to do with this. I just needed to get away for a bit. We are going into the arena together..." I can't risk getting attached, I leave unsaid. But Anna and Emile know too well what I am saying.

"You will tell us if anything happens?" Emile asked.

"I promise." I said. And they believed me.

------------------------------------------

The next day a few boxes of my stuff mysteriously appeared on Elise's doorstep. They'd been haphazardly thrown together and there was no note. Cato's rage was apparent in every unfolded shirt or half opened box. Good. I thought. Let him be mad. Anger I can deal with, emotions I cannot.

When Elise helped me carry my few possessions upstairs she noticed the locket from Favian. I snatched it away from her quickly.
"Clove!" she cried indignantly.
"Sorry," I mumbled and tucked it into my pocket. I couldn't let anyone else see it. Not now. Not ever.

She helped me put my clothes and weapons away, taking care not to comment on the small amount of stuff I own. When I reached the bottom of the bag I realized Cato had left out the clothes he bought me. The only thing I had from him was the ruined dress. I'd shoved it in the closet. Not even the hoodie he'd basically given to me was included. I shut the box and shoved down my feelings.

Yes I did miss him. I still do. It hasn't been like the times we've fought. Back then we weren't so close. He didn't know my secrets and there was always an easy way to fix things. Now, I don't know if our friendship can be saved. And I know whatever else there might be between will have to die if either of us want to make it out of the arena.

"Earth to Clove." Elise called. "Hello?"

"Sorry, what's up?" I asked her.

"I asked you what was going on with you and Cato. You're such good friends. Why would he drop off your stuff without a word?"

"Because we're going into the arena together. We decided it was best to stop being friends now instead of at the bloodbath." I know I lied to her again but I don't think Elise would understand.

"Why do you even want to go into the games?" She pestered. This is a question I had wondered about her since the day we met.

"Why do you?" I asked Elise.

She sighed dramatically and dropped onto the bed. "I don't. Is that so terrible?" Her blue eyes got awfully big.

"No it's not bad. Just different."

"It's not what we're supposed to want. I shouldn't be content to grow up and teach and take care of Winter."

"I'm glad you don't want to go in. I think it would destroy you." I told her.

"I know it would." she said miserably. "What do I do if they pick me? i'll die Clove, there's no way I could kill anyone."

"It's a good thing your friend Clove will be ready to take your place." I told her. Elise pulled me into a hug. And once again, I let her.

Maybe hugs weren't so bad.

----------------------------------

Elise and Roni walk me to the training center. I forgot to mention they started dating a few weeks ago. Roni figured out Elise likes him and asked her out to ice cream. By the end of the date he'd confessed having feelings for her and they have been inseparable ever since. As a couple they are both endearing and annoying, much like Elise. Roni is nice enough. He is sweet and kind, a little quirky like Elise and pretty much a big teddy bear. In any case, I'm glad she has him in case I don't come back. They hold hands as we walk. I shuffle a bit ahead, blowing off jitters with skip steps.

I'm nervous to meet Razor Forman one on one. If I mess up-that's it. The games will be just another broken dream. No. I have to go in. I have to win them. I have to show everyone that I am valuable, I am strong, I am worth loving.

We reach the training center. It's surprising how little it's changed in a whole month. It's still the same large grey building its always been. But if I am lucky this could be the last time I see it for a long time. Maybe forever.

I reach the doors to the private halls and pause. "You can do it Clove." Roni says encouragingly.
"Knock'em dead." Elise chirps. I nod once and they begin to head home. Taking a deep breath I push open the doors and come face to face with the man who will decide my fate.