Chapter 51

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CATO

BANG!

She's dead. It doesn't matter that the sun still shines. She is dead. She has taken the sun with her. Clover. My Clover, who probably never realized how much I cared about her. Care about her. Just because she is gone doesn't mean the feelings stop. No matter how much I wish they would. No matter how much I want the pain of losing her to end. It doesn't matter that my heart still beats. She has taken it with her and now I am condemned to spend the rest of forever with a hole in me that can never be filled.

I hold her in my arms, but she isn't here anymore. Blood paints her lips red. Her silky chocolate hair fans out behind her. I put my hand through it but it isn't the same. She still smells of paper and snowfall, even with the dent in her skull. Her skin is pale, her eyes perfect in every way except that they can't see me. Even in death she is still beautiful.

A rising hopelessness grows in me, accompanied by a guilt so heavy it is a weight. I set Clove down gently and pick up my broadsword. The grip is sticky with her blood. Not for the first time. And it hits me then, the irony of it all. How I managed to keep her safe so many times, only to fail when it is most important. When it actually meant something. I spent all that time saving her from her monster of a guardian because...well it doesn't matter why anymore. She is gone.

Before I leave I press my lips to my hand and then my hand to her mouth. I know the sponsors and my mentors will wonder what I am doing. But she deserves a goodbye.

I needed to say goodbye.

I race after Thresh, leaving Clove behind. He killed her. And I will make his life hell before I take it from him. I promise. He will beg for death.

Stalking through the field, I hear the echoes of her screams. "Cato! Cato!" The empty void calls to me. I cannot shake her ghost, and I don't want to. Because I needed her. Because it is my fault she is gone. She screamed and screamed for me, but I was too late. If I had just seen Thresh come from the wrong side of the field, if I hadn't insisted we split up, if I had gotten there in time. . . .

I will kill Thresh. I will get revenge for Clove. After that....no longer matters.

The sun disappears, replaced by thick brooding clouds. Rain pours from the sky, as if it is crying too. I spot a dark figure shoving his way through the grass. Thresh is tall and bulky with dark skin. He has broad shoulders and holds a scythe in his left hand. The hand that killed Clove.

I can barely contain my rage as I creep towards him through the mud and rain. Thresh's back is towards me. I spot my backpack on the ground next to his. This is my chance. Growling in anger, I charge at Thresh. He hears my footsteps and whips around, our swords meet with a clang. Thresh sees my face and takes a step back. He grunts as I swing my massive sword towards him.

"I will kill you!" I shout over the rain. My sword comes down on his pitiful blocks time and time again, driving Thresh back. He may be big but I am angry. "You killed her!" Thresh swings his scythe at me but I parri and slash open his arm. Thresh howls like an animal, tackling me to the ground. He embeds the scythe in the edge of my lower abdomen. I growl, the pain fueling my rage.

Shoving Thresh off of me, I slam on top of him, crushing him into the earth. I can barely see him through the mud, blood, and rain. He will pay. He must pay. I punch him over and over and over again. "You. Will. Pay." Blood streams from his face. My hands are sticky and red. Thresh starts to fade out of consciousness but I kick him viciously to wake him up. He rakes his nails across my face and I cry out. I start hitting him again. I can't seem to stop. It feels so good to finally be able to hurt someone who has hurt Clove.

Just when Thresh stops struggling, just when he gives in, I draw my sword. I slice open his stomach and gut him from the inside out. Thresh dies in a matter of minutes. It is the first kill I haven't felt sorry for. Even though I know little Scarlet is at home, watching this, I just can't stop. It doesn't matter anymore. It doesn't matter if I'm a monster--there's no one left to try and be worthy for. I hope the bastards running these Games are happy. They have destroyed everything I care about. Everything.

They have succeeded in making me their pet monster. But I don't care anymore.

My eyes sting and I vaguely realize I am crying in this torrent of rain. I am no longer sure who it is I'm crying for--Clove, or Thresh, or the boy from three, or the piece of me that died today and took all of my humanity with it.

My stomach throbs with pain and I finally register the gaping hole Thresh cut in it. Moaning in agony, I collapse into the mud. At least if I die, I have managed to keep this promise. At least if I die, I can be with Clove again.

But Clove wouldn't stand for this kind of death. Honorless and pitiful. It is not what I was trained to do. I will not be taken out after I have won. Not today. I drag myself out of the mud, grab the two backpacks, and plod away through a storm of water and blood.

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A/N Please comment and vote! And maybe share...😀 I'd love to know what you think of Cato's point of view.

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