Your hope is my luck [Hajime X Komaeda]

Chapter 5

Komaeda's pov:

I was laying on the floor, as I stabbed my thighs multiple times. There was a lot of blood. I felt sick, like I was going to puke. It felt like my whole body was screaming at me to stop. But I continued. I stabbed my left arm and then pressed on the knife with my right hand, stabbing it through my hand palm. I felt the cold metal as it pierced though my skin. I tried to scream, but the tape was glued on my mouth. My whole body was aching. I felt numb.  I couldn't move, still somehow manageing to hold the rope. It hurt... It hurt a lot. But I wasn't scared. I was planning this for a long time, I knew exactly what I had to do. My life will finally have a meaning. Yes. I just have to trust my luck. I am prepared.

I heard voices at the other side of the werehouse, Soda was yelling something, but I couldn't hear what it was about becouse of the loud music. The fire started and everyone began screaming, I heard something about going to get fire granades, becouse they were yelling really loudly. It seems my plan was working. The fire burnt down half of the curtain, so I could make out the shapes of their bodies as they threw the granades. Guess this is it. Among all the blury voices, I could hear Hajime's voice the most clearly. I don't know what he was saying, but hes voice was determent. He certenly gives off the energy of a leader, always comes up with solutions to the problems when everything seems lost. Everyone likes him and trusts him. Even thow he has no talent, he gave people hope. I'm a bit jealous. I still remember all the moments we spend together, we were friends at the beginning, but then he started to hate me like everyone else after the first trial. That was of course understandable, I'm a trash person after all. I still loved him thow. Becouse of his talent. Or so I thought. But it turns out he's talentless, just a reserve course student. So he wasn't interesting anymore. But... I guess i still liked him. It didn't make sense to. He's just an everyday, boring guy. I always found that kind of people extremely uninteresting and a waste of time to pay attention to. So why? Why him? Why am I thinking of him now of all times? The thick fog of poison surrounded me, as the poisonois gas infected my blood stream. I began loosing consciousness. Everything became blury. I couldn't think straight. At this moment I became scared. I didn't want to die. I held the rope with the last bits of my strength. I tried to scream, but I couldn't becouse of the tape. I felt my body become weaker. The poison numbed my senses and I let go of the rope. Everything went black.