It's Only 8 Seconds

Chapter Fourteen

It took me a while to realise that the world isn't all black and white, when I look at it now I know that for a long time I thought that everything was simple and that nothing would ever go wrong in my life. Even after I had that bad fall a few years back that nearly ended my career I still seemed to think my life was perfect and that everything was somehow going to go my way. I mean look at me, I'm only twenty years old and I have a child who's father is nowhere in sight. I used to be running second in the world standings and now I am nowhere near the top. Our lives change so rapidly and quickly, we have no control over them, but what we do have is the control of how we handle the situation we are put in. There were definitely moments where I wanted to chuck in the towel and leave everything behind me, but I knew that giving up wasn't going to be an option, nor was it going to solve any of my problems. There was a light in the dark, and that light was River, it was Bird, it was Token and it was my two amazing and brilliant mustangs. 

It was the Friday after Wren came over and I was down at the stables with the horses, River was sitting in her pram while I brushed over Bird's coat. River's happy smile lit up and she laughed as she played around with the little horse plush toy. She was growing up so fast, I feel as if it was just yesterday that I found out I was pregnant with her. It was coming on dark and the cold was starting to set in as we got closer to Christmas. I finished up with Bird and put her rug on before putting her back into her stall. All the horses were rugged up and warm in the stables, I looked them all over one more time before I headed back over to the house. 

There were a set of headlights coming down the driveway and all I did was pray that it wasn't Ryder. I pulled River out of the pram and held her tight to me, as the truck came to a stop out the front of my house I came to recognise that it was Austin's truck. My heart began to speed up as I walked towards it. Austin climbed out of the truck and walked closer to me.

''How'd you find me?'' I asked smiling at him. 

''Just had a hunch. Some kind lady down at the bakery told me you lived here.'' I immediately thought of Wren, I remember telling Austin I lived in Collinsville but I never told him the exact whereabouts of where I lived. There was something so intriguing about him though, his determination to get to know me was quite clear,  though I tried my hardest to stay closed up. ''Who's this?'' He said kindly while he held one of his fingers out, River latched onto it and he shook it like they were introducing themselves. I couldn't help but smile and the warmth that Austin brought spread through my body once again. 

''My daughter, River.'' I looked up at Austin and he gave me a kind smile, while he watched River with his blue-grey eyes. 

''She looks just like you.'' Austin didn't ask about where her father was, I loved that he didn't ask, but I had a feeling that he already knew the story there. I invited him inside while I put River down into her bed for the night. Once River was asleep I pulled two beers out of the fridge and handed one to Austin. We went back outside and sat on the swinging chair on the porch. 

''I didn't know you had a kid,'' Austin took a pull from his beer and leant back in the chair, ''it ain't a bad thing though.''

''Yeah, I guess I just never mentioned it. Her father was the man at the rodeo. The one who got in a fight with you.'' I looked down at my bare feet and then back at Austin, I hated talking about Ryder, it makes me feel sick in the pit of my stomach and I think Austin could see that. 

''She's beautiful, how old is she?'' Austin completely avoided the convocation on River's father.

''She's nine months old, and thank you.'' I smiled at him and took a sip from my beer. There was a lightness in the crisp winter air, but I felt all warm and fuzzy inside. Austin put his beer down and stood up from the chair, he held his hand out for me to take. I took it in mine and looked down at how perfectly our hands fit together. Austin pulled me up to stand with him and led me out onto the lawn where he spun me around under the moon. There was something in his eyes and I knew right then that I wanted to dive right in. 

''Your something else Ail,'' he said as he pulled me into his chest and pushed me back out. I smiled like crazy, he just says the smallest things and I can't help but feel these crazy feelings. We danced under the moon for what felt like ages until Austin pulled me into him and held me in his arms. I felt safe and somehow loved, but that could just be my heart making stupid assumptions again. Austin lifted my chin up so he could look at me, ''I think maybe I might just like you a little bit too much.'' He laughed and slowly pressed his lips against mine. There were a thousand fireworks going off inside of me. Austin's hands held my face as my hands tangled into his hair, the way we connected was something different. I pulled away from him a little and Austin rested his chin on the top of my head. ''I promise I won't hurt you Ail, I promise.''